We all say that the generations are relatives, and indeed many times the love of grandparents and grandparents for their grandchildren is enviable. As a parent, of course, I also hope that my child can get the love of the elderly, but if this love becomes doting, it is presumably not what parents want to see.
Xiao Li was disciplining his son who was in kindergarten, and the son at first bowed his head and did not speak, but when he saw his grandfather approaching, he suddenly burst into tears, which frightened Xiao Li himself.
Obviously, the son's cry successfully attracted the attention of the grandfather, the grandfather directly blocked the grandson behind, some angry to Xiao Li said, the child is still small, there is something to say well, why so loud, what to do if the child is scared?
Xiao Li said that his son did not drink milk, and deliberately overturned the milk, but the father-in-law felt that this was a small thing, and he shouted that he would overturn it, and it was a big deal to wipe the table, and the child did not drink if he did not want to drink. After saying that, he took his grandson's hand and left.
Something like this presumably happens in many families, and when parents educate their children, the older generation will always intervene. Of course, they are distressed about the child, but if it goes on for a long time, it is not good for the child's growth.
What are the adverse effects of grandparents' coddling on children?
1, causing the child to become more and more wanton
Parents criticize their children, mostly because the children are not doing it right, and parents just want to help their children correct their wrong behavior. But if the grandparents are always short-sighted at this time, then it is difficult for the child to recognize his mistakes.
They will only know that no matter what they do, they will have a backer, so they will do the wrong things more arbitrarily.
2, leading to children more and more disregard for parents
Although we do not advocate that parents use their authority to suppress their children, we must also recognize that parents still have to establish a certain prestige in front of their children, so as to better educate their children.
But grandparents often intervene in parents' discipline of their children, or even reprimand their parents, which will naturally reduce the weight of parents in the minds of children, so that parents will be hindered in disciplining their children later.
Parents may wish to do this when disciplining their children
1. Do not discipline in front of the elderly
The doting of the elderly on the child, in fact, many parents can understand, so in order not to let the elderly feel sorry for the child, parents can close the door to educate the child. In this way, the elderly can't see it, naturally they won't be upset, there will be no problem of interference, and parents can better discipline their children.
2. Spend more time with your children
Children often use their grandparents as a shield, perhaps because they usually spend more time with their grandparents and have deeper feelings. As a parent, if you can take a little more time to spend with your child, then your child will also be open to his parents and willing to listen to his parents' discipline.
3. Advance the three chapters of the Law
Parents can make an appointment with their grandparents in three chapters in advance, so that their grandparents do not interfere with their discipline of their children. At this time, the attitude of parents should be appropriate and resolute, because only by letting the elderly see their determination, the elderly will better cooperate, even if they are uncomfortable, they will not take the initiative to intervene.
4. Communicate patiently with elders
Of course, not all elders can understand the pain of parents, if the three chapters of the covenant law can not be established, then as parents must communicate with the elders in a timely manner, point out the stakes, let them know that short-term protection will only be detrimental to the growth of children, so as to reach an educational agreement.
5. Refuse violent injury
Some parents often use some verbal violence when educating their children, such as children who are stupid like pigs, and even some parents will directly move roughly. Such a way is actually wrong, and it will only make the child become timid and cowardly or rebellious.
If parents can choose the right way to discipline their children, then believe that both children and the elderly will accept it. So a little more patience and love for the child, try to minimize the stick education, maybe the child will become better, the elderly will not intervene again.
Educating children is a science, how to get along with the elderly is also a science, so as a parent there are many places to learn, only by improving themselves first, children will be better.