As the country gradually liberalizes the two-child and three-child birth policies, it has also brought a series of chain reactions, and problems such as education, medical care, pensions, and housing have followed.
The improvement of people's living standards makes parenting more than just raising children. But for some special groups, although raising children will face a multiplier burden, psychological comfort and sustenance may be more important.
Middle-aged people who have lost their independence are a special kind of people, and the story to be told today is a middle-aged mother who has lost her independence, Sheng Hailin from Hefei, Anhui.
In May 2020, Zhi Zhihui, the twin daughter of 70-year-old orphan mother Sheng Hailin, is about to celebrate her 10th birthday.
Friends may wonder why this mother is so old and the child is only ten years old.
The old man lost his daughter and was grief-stricken
Ten years ago, 60-year-old Sheng Hailin suffered the most painful thing in her life, the white-haired person sent the black-haired person, and her only daughter Tingting died of gas poisoning with her son-in-law shortly after marriage.
This was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day for Sheng Hailin.
Sheng Hailin and her daughter have a good relationship, and she has a cheerful personality, and she can get along with her daughter like a friend at every stage of her daughter's growth, and her daughter will talk to her about anything she wants.
She herself is also the director of the local hospital, her husband works at the military academy, the family life is very happy, until the daughter married, she is the envy of the people around her.
But this happened, so that her supposedly happy and complete life suddenly fell into the abyss of pain.
After the death of her daughter, Sheng Hailin was sullen all day, and the room of her daughter in the family became her scenic spot, and she was most reluctant to walk on the road to hear other people's children call her mother, because it seemed to remind her that there were no children to call her mother at all times.
Sheng Hailin tried various ways to get rid of this pain, praying to God and worshiping Buddha, which she once despised, and she also did it, and even thought about suicide.
But life always has to look forward, and she thinks maybe having another child will forget the pain of losing her daughter.
But she was too old to have children on her own, so she asked relatives and friends if there were any children that could be adopted by her.
But now, whose children are not the hearts and minds of their parents? After encountering repeated cold rejections, Sheng Hailin was completely desperate, so she gave up the idea of adoption.
59 years old adventure test tube to give birth to a daughter
As a doctor, Sheng Hailin learned about the ivy system, and at that time, the domestic IVF related technology was not very mature, but Sheng Hailin was still determined to try it.
After she informed her family and friends of this idea, everyone was shocked and thought it was too risky. She was 59 years old at the time, and even if the test tube could be successful, how could she come to life on her own?
Some friends even thought she missed her daughter excessively and suggested that she see a psychologist. But all this doubt did not stop Sheng Hailin, who was determined to find the best hospital to try.
She went to the best hospital in Beijing, but when she heard her request, she refused. She is 59 years old, and in the eyes of doctors, the possibility of success is too small, but Sheng Hailin still does not give up.
She was rejected dozens of times in hospitals across the country, and eventually she returned to the hospital where she gave birth to her daughter, and in order to get the hospital to agree to her request, she said that she would be responsible if anything went wrong.
The hospital eventually agreed to her request, but repeatedly stressed that problems would be stopped immediately. As a result, Sheng Hailin began the arduous process of pregnancy at an advanced age.
The first is to make the body meet the standard of fertility through various drugs, and after several months of successful pregnancy after several months of experimentation, the thrilling thing is that there is a sudden heavy bleeding after 20 days of pregnancy, which makes the doctors very nervous.
However, in the end, two embryos were saved, which made Sheng Hailin and the doctors breathe a sigh of relief.
During childbirth, it was also a great test for herself and the doctor, and the problems such as placenta retention and too small fetus made the doctors tense at all times, but in the end, Sheng Hailin successfully gave birth to her twin daughters for more than seven months, Zhizhi and Huihui.
For her, it was the risk of death to give birth to the sisters, and the two children were just born with less than four pounds, which shows how dangerous the whole pregnancy process is.
The road to parenting is difficult, and he travels around in his later years
Giving birth to a child allowed Sheng Hailin to finally let go of the pain, but the parenting problem was a big problem for her 60-year-old. Most of the money originally raised was spent on IVF.
The child lived in the ward for more than a month, spending 6,000 yuan a day, and the high cost of the fertility place had already spent the savings of previous years, so she had to work again to earn money in order to raise two children.
So when her peers have retired and enjoyed their old age, Sheng Hailin has to run around to earn money.
With her rich clinical experience, she has been training and giving lectures all over the country for ten years, all in order to give children and their future more security.
But accordingly, the time spent with the children is reduced, most of the time is spent on the go, and the children cry and ask for their mothers.
Thinking back on this experience, Sheng Hailin said with moist eyes, I miss them too, but there is no way, I must earn money.
While working hard to earn money to support his family, Sheng Hailin will also take time to take the children to see the eldest sister Tingting, although she has two daughters, Tingting is always a scar in Sheng Hailin's heart.
She always told Zhizhi and Huihui about Tingting, and the two sisters often naively said that if the sister was still there, we could go and play with her and her brother. Sheng Hailin smiled and said that if her sister was still there, there would be no you.
Sending the two sisters to school, always considered by the parents of the classmates to be the grandmother, Sheng Hailin did not know how to answer for a while, but the children laughed and said, this is my mother, my mother is good to us.
The two sisters often comforted Sheng Hailin and gave her a lot of warmth and strength.
When Zheng Hailin celebrated his 68th birthday, the two sisters discussed using their pocket money to buy a necklace and a ring for their mother, although it was plastic, but it still made Sheng Hailin very moved.
The two sisters also wrote a letter, crooked handwriting expressing their young love for the unclear.
They knew that it was not easy for their mothers to raise them at such an old age, so they deliberately wrote a long life and a hundred years old.
Such things make Sheng Hailin feel warm in her heart after being tired and busy, and she is no longer as painful and depressed as before.
But life is always like this, wave after wave, accident after accident.
In 2015, her husband suddenly suffered a stroke, and someone had to take special care of her, and all the burdens were on Sheng Hailin alone.
In desperation, Sheng Hailin could only choose to send her child to a more reassuring custodial school.
At the same time, the place of work can not be as the previous country to run around, can only choose a place closer to home, convenient to take care of husbands and children.
Sheng Hailin, who was close to the ancient rarity, could not take care of the fatigue of her body at this time, and could only struggle to support the burden of life in this way.
In 2019, Hui Hui had a serious illness, and the doctor said that the situation was not very objective, and even issued a critical illness notice when it was serious.
For this reason, Sheng Hailin was anxious, often running at home, hospital, and work place, and the mental pressure and physical pressure were too great, and finally she collapsed.
This encounter made Sheng Hailin begin to realize that physical health is the most important thing, and you can't ignore your own and your family's body for work.
Today' current situation
Sheng Hailin's hard work over the years has also saved millions of savings for herself and her daughters, which is enough for their family to live a relatively comfortable life in the next few days.
Thinking like this, Sheng Hailin also felt relieved and decided to gradually reduce her work and take more time to accompany her children. With the outbreak of the epidemic, the way of working has also become mostly online, which just gives her time to spend with her children.
She will update her daughter's activity on some social platforms and learn to play the piano and flute with her daughters. Sometimes Sheng Hailin would take the children to learn to cook.
She said that in order to cultivate children's more extensive interests and hobbies, many enthusiastic netizens have left messages, and she will patiently answer.
In an interview, a reporter asked her if she regretted having these two children?
She pondered for a moment and said sincerely that if there was an afterlife, she would never ask for it again.
This sentence is indeed the heartfelt words of Sheng Hailin after ten years of experiencing unimaginable hardships for others.
At that time, she may have anticipated the hardships, but after the real experience, when she could choose again, she was still unwilling to go through such a difficult run.
Sheng Hailin frankly said that the youth of the two children, the articulation of school education and family education, etc., she is afraid that her time and energy will be more and more insufficient in the future, and she will be unable to face this series of problems in the future.
However, things always have to be on the bright side, the two children can grow up to ten years old safely and healthily, which is also the result of her hard work over the years, and in the busy process, she rarely thinks about the pain of losing Tingting.
Life may be like this, there are gains and losses, how do each of them choose and face?
Many people have different views on Sheng Hailin's insistence on IVF, and some think that this is both irresponsible for themselves and irresponsible for their children, in case there is any problem with the child, it will bring pain to the family.
Some people think that this incident actually reflects the greatness of maternal love, but for the phenomenon of loss of independence in society, whether this choice is worth emulating or not is also different from person to person, and cannot be generalized.
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