Adolescence is the most important transition period for a child to move from adolescence to adulthood. At this stage, the child will complete the development of the body, the maturity of the mind, the construction of the three views, it can be said that puberty is the most critical period for the child's growth.
However, adolescence is also the stage that makes parents the most headache and fear.
The more independent the thinking, so that children pay more attention to their own ideas, and the parents' gradually drift away;
The development of the body and the maturity of the brain allow children to pay more attention to things other than learning, and there are more and more interferences;
This period is a critical period that urgently needs parental guidance, but it is also a rebellious period in which children are particularly resistant to their parents.
Well guided, the child passes smoothly, successfully completes the transformation, and the future road will be smoother. Poor guidance, chickens and dogs jump at home, and even affect the child's learning and future life path.
The book "Mother's Book to Adolescent Daughter" says that adolescence is a "dangerous age" in the growth process of girls. Women's delicate emotions and sensitive hearts will make adolescent girls have more hearts in adolescence, emotions produce more ups and downs, girls in this period are easy to fall into two "pits", whether they can help girls successfully pass through puberty, it is very important.
The first "pit": appearance anxiety
Adolescent girls, the body began to develop, the original flat body, began to appear undulating changes, the appearance of menarche proves that the girl's body gradually matured.
And this physical change from the inside out will make the child's psychology fluctuate violently.
Whether my skin is white and delicate, whether I am double eyelids, whether I am too fat, they pay attention to the length of their hair, the height of their bodies, and even the shape of their nails have become a matter of great concern to them, and children pay more and more attention to their appearance.
They like to look in the mirror, comb their hair with a comb when they have nothing to do, and are keen to study clothes and hairstyles.
They are very concerned about the evaluation of others, and they are particularly sensitive to the eyes of others, especially in the face of the boys they like.
At this stage, girls may appear to be compared in appearance, clothing, and vanity. Especially children who are dissatisfied with their appearance, some will transfer their emotions to their parents, and the contradictions with their parents will increase; some girls will have low self-esteem, taciturnity, and their personalities will become unconfident.
The second "pit": the beginning of the love sinus
The teacher told Yaoyao's mother that Yaoyao and a boy in the class were in love, and after communicating with the boy's mother, Yaoyao's mother decided to let the two children break up.
However, the teacher told Yaoyao's mother that compared with the boy, Yaoyao seemed to come out very slowly, did not listen to the lecture in class, and stared at the boy in a daze. After class, I can't lift my spirits and am sullen. Yaoyao's mother is particularly on fire, and is about to enter the sprint period of the third year of junior high school, although the child's results have been good, but they can't stand such a toss!
At the age of "the beginning of the love sinus", no teenager can hide, but the difference is that some people are confused and rush into it, delaying learning, while some children can distinguish priorities and calmly deal with it.
Do not underestimate these two "pits", any one can take the girl's mind, change the child's personality, and affect the child's three views. Especially in early love, if the child cannot grasp the bottom line, it is possible to do things that hurt their own body and leave a lifelong regret.
Adolescent children are arrogant and childish and ridiculous, irritable and impulsive and confused and helpless, they always think that their lives can be their own decisions, but immature children can not move to go the wrong way, so for adolescent girls, parents must pay more attention to the growth of children, help children through this period of confusion.
Fathers should be good role models for their daughters
Girls who lack father's love, the first problem is that they are easy to fall in love early when they grow up!
The father is the first male in the daughter's life, and the father's code of conduct will become the male benchmark and mate selection standard in the girl's heart. The daughter's earliest understanding of love also originated from her father.
And girls who lack father's love, lack of stable personality core, their bottom line for the opposite sex is extremely low, the other party a little care and love is easy to impress her, plunge into it, and even choose to sacrifice themselves to keep each other.
Child psychologist Dubson said in the book "Raising Daughters" that a child's self-worth and self-confidence are directly related to her relationship with her father.
If you want your daughter to survive puberty smoothly, the father must be a good example of a good man in the girl's heart.
Care for their wives, accompany their children, let girls feel the warmth and happiness of the family, such girls are rich in their hearts, they will improve their mate selection standards, will not be easily moved by a little care, and pay their own everything.
At the same time, girls accompanied by their fathers will know more about the opposite sex, they know more about how to get along with the opposite sex, they will be more generous and confident in socializing, and they will know how to grasp the scale and measure.
Mom wants to be a good friend of her daughter
Adolescent girls, the heart is very eager to have the same sex "come over" to guide themselves, and this most suitable "come over" is the mother!
However, because it is a "person who came over", so the mothers understand the "harm" of the initial opening of the love sinus, they will pay special attention to whether the daughter is in early love, it is easy to be suspicious, peek at the daughter's diary, steal the daughter's mobile phone, set the daughter's words, and overreact to the boy's name in the daughter's mouth...
Therefore, when mothers face adolescent daughters, they will always be a little "irrational", and it is easy for us to use the tone of elders to teach their daughters and block discipline in an arbitrary way.
These behaviors will only exacerbate the contradictions between mother and daughter, pushing the daughter farther and farther away.
If you want to discipline your daughter well, you must learn to let go, learn to trust, give your child a certain degree of freedom, let the child have a comfortable space for free growth, in order to ensure that the child has a stable mood and the desire to communicate with the mother.
The second thing a mother has to do well is to treat her daughter like a girlfriend.
Put down the parents' shelf and don't always teach your children in the tone of your elders. Learn to put your child on an equal footing and get along with your girlfriend.
Listen more, communicate more, communicate more, so that the daughter is willing to talk to her mother and listen to her mother's opinions.
Regarding adolescence, psychologist Hayato Kawai has a wonderful analogy.
He believes that adolescent children are like a pupa between a caterpillar and a butterfly, looking calm on the outside, but in fact, there have been earth-shaking changes on the inside. It's the process of recreating a person from the bottom of the sky, but how to make the pupae cocoon into a butterfly is an art.
Compared with the grinning personality of boys, girls are more likely to bury their hearts and emotions, if there is poor communication with children, it is difficult for parents to grasp the growth trend of their children, and they are powerless to grow their children!
Therefore, if you have a daughter at home, you must understand the psychological trends and growth characteristics of adolescent girls in advance, and adjust your education methods in time to help your children survive this "dangerous age"!