As the saying goes: "Children avoid mothers, women avoid fathers", which means that parents need to choose to avoid at the right time to give children more self-space, because once the parental love exceeds the boundaries of parents and children, it may be a kind of harm to children.
However, in reality, many parents often ignore the boundaries between parents and children due to excessive pampering of their children, so it is not uncommon for children to be hurt.
There was once a father who loved his daughter very much, who regarded his daughter as his "little cotton jacket", and almost all the things he did to his daughter were done by himself, except for the time when his daughter drank breast milk, other things like coaxing the baby to sleep, bathing the baby, and changing clothes were all done by the father himself.
At first, the child's mother thought that the father simply hurt his daughter, and that the child was still young, so he did not go to his heart. But as his daughter grew up, the father still bathed his daughter every day, changed clothes, and even slept with his daughter, which made the child's mother very embarrassed.
The child's mother has also privately communicated with her husband many times that her daughter is older and wants to keep some distance from her daughter, but her father is very unhappy, thinking that what is wrong with me loving my daughter?
Later, as the daughter entered adolescence and began to live in school, this situation was improved.
But when the daughter was 16 years old, one day when the daughter came home, the mother changed the daughter's clothes but found that the child's stomach was somewhat "unusual", so the mother quickly took the daughter to the hospital for a test, and the test results also shocked both husband and wife, and the daughter was pregnant!
Under the pressure of her parents, the girl told the truth. It turned out that when she was in school, the girl secretly made a boyfriend, the girl felt that the boyfriend was very good to herself, just as good as her father was to herself, and the girl felt the "warmth of a father" from her boyfriend, so she had sex soon after.
The father who understood the origin of the matter was immediately remorseful, and blamed himself for being too inattentive, and the love for his daughter without "boundaries" had prompted this kind of thing to happen, and it was obvious that the harm caused by this love to his daughter was irreparable.
This matter actually gives us a wake-up call for the majority of parents, do not think that the child is still young and does not understand things, the child has gradually formed a sense of gender around the age of 3, has known the difference between boys and girls, and will also begin to be curious about the difference between the parents' body and their own body.
Therefore, in daily life, our parents should try to avoid suspicion in some life scenarios.
1. Sleep in separate beds
From the perspective of sex education, children should start to sleep in separate beds around the age of 3, and when children reach 5 to 6 years old, they can sleep in separate rooms.
If the child has siblings, then the sister and the younger brother or between the older brother and the younger sister should also pay attention to and try to sleep separately. Because children have gender awareness and shame at this stage, parents should also start to cultivate their children's independent self-care ability.
2. Go to the toilet
Many parents feel that there are no outsiders at home, and they are too lazy to close the door when they go to the toilet to urinate.
But as everyone knows, children are all learning, so parents even at home, go to the toilet also need to pay attention, after all, parents do not want their children to open the door when they go to the toilet in the future, right?
Especially when taking their children to the toilet in public places, parents should pay attention to distinguishing between the sexes of their children. Now many shopping malls have parent-child toilets, which is convenient for parents to take their children to the toilet.
3. Change of clothes
Many parents always think that their children are still young and do not understand things, and they do not shy away from changing clothes in front of their children, but they often ignore the differences caused by gender.
If parents often change clothes in front of their children, it is easy to make their children have the illusion that the behavior of exposing their bodies is normal, and it is difficult to realize the importance of protecting their bodies, and they do not know how to prevent risks.
Especially for children of the opposite sex, it is easier to cause children to be too precocious, so that children are curious about some sexual organs of the opposite sex early. Even stimulate children to secrete certain sex hormones in advance, and then explore more unknown contraindications, serious cases lead to early love of children, stealing the forbidden fruit.
4. Take a bath
When parents bathe their children, in addition to avoiding the opposite sex of parent-child bathing, for children after 4 to 6 years old, parents should also avoid fathers bathing their daughters, or mothers helping their sons bathe.
Moreover, for children at this stage, parents should also begin to gradually cultivate their children's ability to bathe independently, which not only respects the child's privacy, but also helps the child's growth.
No matter how much parents love their children, don't build on unconditional, bottomless foundations. Father and daughter are father and daughter, and when the child grows up, the father must avoid suspicion! Otherwise, children will not know how to respect themselves in the future, do you think so?
Source: New Parents Online