The biggest misconceptions of many parents are:
As long as there is a marriage certificate, you can have children; as long as you have the ability to have children, you have the ability to educate children. Any adult can educate a child, and it is not necessary to worry about handing the child over to the grandparents, or even to the nanny.
Many parents often don't start to panic about their children's educational problems until their children become "problem students" at school.
Educating children, only love, not enough, only understand the child's growth rules to have a good future.
In family education, the most needed education is not the child, but the parents.
Educating children is the most important and difficult discipline of human beings.
Parents are the homeroom teachers who never retire and have responsibilities for their children's lives.
No matter how successful parents are in their careers, they cannot withstand the consequences of failing to educate their children.
All parents want to educate their children well, but none of us have done pre-job training and have become parents in a hurry.
Therefore, before educating children, we parents must also receive education and learn how to be a qualified parent.
01
To understand your child, don't miss the critical period of your child's development
The critical period of development refers to the mastery of certain human behaviors, skills and knowledge, which develops the fastest and is most susceptible to influence in a certain period. How many critical periods of child development do you understand?
Critical period of learning to chew (6 months): The most important learning period in infancy.
The critical period of order and norms (2.5 to 6 years old): The critical period for the formation of children's behavior habits, and the personality, behaviors, and habits formed during this period will often not change until they grow up.
Critical period of language development (3 to 6 years old): Children around 3 years old can basically master the full pronunciation and grammar of their mother tongue, after which language ability will be further developed.
Critical period of imagination development (2 to 8 years old): This stage should protect children's curiosity and imagination.
Culturally sensitive period (6 to 10 years old): Many children in this period are very curious, brainy, and have many problems. The child's desire to learn should be satisfied.
Golden Reading Period (4 to 12 years old): If you miss the scientific reading guidance and a lot of reading in this period, it will cause irreparable shortcomings to the growth of children.
Critical period of independence (12 to 15 years old): This period is not grasped well, and the child will never grow up.
02
Know the love of motherhood and the love of the father
Maternal love: virtue and etiquette, character temperament. Mothers have a huge influence in the infant and childhood stages of children.
Fatherly Love: Directional Guidance and Rational Action. A great father must be the guide of his child and the founder of his thoughts. Law: The maternal love needed for children to grow up shows a decreasing trend, and the father's love shows an increasing trend.
Before children enter school, they generally need more maternal love. The transition stage of primary and secondary school is the end of the romantic stage of children's growth and the beginning of the precise stage, and the transition period from mother's love to father's love. During this period, maternal love should be appropriately reduced and paternal love appropriately increased.
03
What parents should do for their children
1. Improve yourself and grow with your children.
No one is born to be a parent, we can only continue to learn educational knowledge, improve ourselves, and then combine the actual situation of the child to educate the child, and grow up with the child.
2. Teach by example and be an example for your children.
Parents are the child's first teacher, and the child is a mirror for the parent. Parents' shortcomings will be reflected in their children, as parents, we must always pay attention to our own words and deeds, and set a good example for our children.
3. Be good at discovering life and teach children the truth with the small things in life.
One thing, only if you have done it yourself, can you know its right or wrong, a road, only if you have walked through it, you know its ruggedness. The same goes for kids.
04
Advice for fathers
1. The way home should be the way home.
As a father, you must be aware of the educational responsibility on your shoulders, and you must remember that the way to leave work should be the way home, and the children who eat with their parents are better.
2. Love the family, especially the wife.
As a father, creating a good family environment is the basic responsibility of the father, which can bring a sense of security and love to the child. Fathers love their mothers, and children grow up in the nourishment of love.
3. Exercise and play with your child.
The man is also a naïve big child, the father is the best playmate of the child, with the father, the child can really let go, play happily, the father can teach the child brave, exploration spirit.
4. Take your child to see the world.
Tell the child about the working life, take the child to see the social situation, the father uses his eyes to lead the child to slowly contact the society, and use his own experience to help the child clear a road.
05
Six family education proverbs that parents must know
The first sentence: Good parents are learned.
There are no naturally successful parents, and there are no parents who do not need to learn, and successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement. I have come into contact with so many outstanding parents that none of them have easily achieved the success of the godson.
An excellent mother even said: Many people think that I am very relaxed, saying that your child is so good, do not care at all, do not know, I even sleep at night with one eye open! In the 21st century, the information society has higher and higher requirements for the quality of people, and any position requires training and assessment.
But it seems that only the birth and education of children do not need training, as if they will automatically go to work and will never be laid off, in fact, this understanding is wrong.
The second sentence: Good children are taught.
I have come into contact with hundreds of excellent parents, and one of the things they have in common is to work educating their children, just like Shen Liping, one of the top ten outstanding mothers in the country, if it were not for her own words, people would not think that she put so much effort behind the growth of her son Wang Jiapeng.
Some people may say that there are so many parents who don't know one big word, don't they also educate good children?
In fact, illiteracy is not unable to educate, these parents are also masters of educating their children.
The third sentence: Good habits are cultivated.
Many parents blame their children's bad habits on the school, on the teachers, on the children themselves, but not on themselves. In fact, most of the habits in children, whether good habits or bad habits, are intentionally or unintentionally cultivated by our parents.
Parents are often the biggest creators of children's problems, and they are also the biggest obstacles to children's correction of mistakes and shortcomings. The most urgent thing is not to educate children, but to educate parents, without parental change, there is no change in children.
There are no children who do not want to learn well, only children who cannot learn well, no children who do not have a good education, only parents who will not educate.
Therefore, scolding yourself before scolding the child, and hitting yourself before hitting the child, is the only way to completely change yourself.
Fourth sentence: Good grades are helped.
With regard to quality education and test-taking education, the whole society must have a correct understanding. Test-oriented education is a problem that neither the school nor the parent can avoid, and it requires the school and the parent to adapt together.
There is no contradiction between test-taking ability education and quality education, and quality education without test-taking ability is not real quality education.
Therefore, helping children adapt to test-oriented education has become a due obligation of our parents, and the best way to help children reduce their burden is for our parents to increase their burden, that is, our parents can become the child's mentor.
Fifth sentence: Good communication is heard.
For parents whose children enter junior high school and high school, there is a general confusion, that is, it is difficult to communicate with their children.
Adolescent children have more conflicts with mothers entering menopause, not only because they are in a period of internal psychological turmoil, but more importantly, the external pressure of both is very large,
Children are facing the pressure of further education, and mothers are facing the pressure of career, which requires more communication.
Good parents mostly do a good job of this, and their good communication comes from consciously following these three principles:
The first step is to listen, which is to let the child speak out and understand the true meaning of the child's words.
The second step is understanding, that is, to think from the child's point of view whether it makes sense, and the result is often reasonable.
The third step is advice, that is, it makes sense, and the child is not necessarily able to take the right action, so parents should give advice here.
Of these three steps, listening is the worst parents do.
Every child grows up with problems, and every parent grows up with problems.
Children who do not encounter problems cannot be found, parents who do not encounter problems cannot be found, and the key is to be able to calm down and find a solution to the problem like those good parents.
Sixth sentence: Good achievements are indoctrinated.
Intelligence is not the most important, more important than intelligence is the will, more important than the will is the mind, more important than the mind is the character.
And these are the most important things in a person's growth.
When we look at biographies, we are often extremely impressed by the extraordinary nature of biographers in their infancy, because this motivation for achievement has a huge impact on people.
The most important factors, such as will, mind, and morality, can not be effective through "explicit education" such as parental preaching, but through parental behavior, that is, "latent education", into the flesh and blood of children.
Article source: Illuminati Educator
Image source: DE Future Bootcamp
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