Some time ago, a video of a boy in Shanghai peeling shrimp for a female classmate caught fire, and the boy's meal in the video did not move, and he concentrated on peeling the shrimp for the female classmate.
Seeing the little boy's patient appearance, everyone praised it, and many netizens shouted "little warm man".
However, in the comments section of the "applause", there are several comments that seem "out of place":
"If he were my son, I certainly wouldn't let him do that."
"As a father, I really don't want him to be so warm, like me, he is always asked to be good to others, and when he grows up, he becomes an old and good person, and in the end he suffers losses." 」
Isn't it the kind of child that adults like to be humble and sensible at a young age?
However, just like the experience of this father in the comments section, sometimes children are too considerate of the needs of others, although they look "warm", but they will "cold" themselves.
Raising children into so-called "warm men" is not necessarily a good thing
In the TV series "In the Name of the Family", the little boy "He Ziqiu" is a standard "little warm man".
When he first arrived at his adoptive parents' house, he was often bullied by the little girl", but he always behaved rebelliously and never showed a trace of resistance.
At the dinner table, his favorite braised ribs were not clipped, and the meat was all pointed.
In the eyes of everyone, it seems that He Ziqiu was born so "sensible" and knows how to give warmth to others.
In fact, He Ziqiu never dared to express his needs, nor did he dare to indulge his emotions, invisibly cultivating a "flattering personality" for himself, ostensibly a "little warm man" of the sun, but inside he was as cold as an ice cellar.
Many parents will be keen to ask their children to be obedient, sensible, and polite, but ignore the fact that they are only a few years old after all, and they also have joys and sorrows in their hearts, and while showing great warmth, they may be "forced to obey" for a long time.
If the child inadvertently "pleases" others into a habit, it will only overdraw their own energy little by little, and when they finally reach the limit, it is easy to produce extreme results.
Instead of raising children as warm men, it is better to cultivate them as "gentlemen"
Du Jiang and Huo Siyan's son "Hmmm", after participating in a variety show, was affectionately called "Super Little Warm Man" by many fans.
In the show, because he is worried about his mother's body, he will take the initiative to change the ice American style to the hot American style;
When going out shopping, he will take the initiative to help his mother carry a bag;
Go surfing by the sea, after seeing the glass, you will not only take the initiative to pick it up, but also remind tourists that "the sea is my home, civilization depends on everyone."
However, Hum is not the kind of "little warm man" who only blindly pleases others, he knows how to "warm himself".
When a child borrowed a toy from him, he did not directly agree to the "good old man", but clearly stated that he also wanted to play and rejected the other party;
When he was treated unfairly in the kindergarten, he did not swallow his anger, but told his parents and teachers at the first time.
I have to say that a child like Hum is really very likeable, but compared to calling him "Little Warm Man", I think the title of "Little Gentleman" may be more appropriate.
Treat people with courtesy and always know how to take care of the feelings of others, but behave in a principled manner and will not wronged themselves in order to please others.
In fact, many times, parents raise their children as a "gentleman" with their own personality and attitude, which is much better than the so-called "little warm man".
Raising a child as a "gentleman" starts with giving him "unconditional love."
The reason why many children will become the so-called "warm men" and fall into a "flattering personality" is, in the final analysis, a manifestation of lack of love.
In the eyes of such children, "only if I dedicate myself unconditionally, can I be liked by everyone", so in order to maintain the image of "warm man" in everyone's eyes, get the praise of parents and the love of classmates, they inadvertently ignore their own feelings in order to complete others.
The writer Bi Shumin once said, "Our lives do not exist because we like others."
Du Jiang and Huo Siyan also told Hum "You are my hope, nor is it, you are your own hope."
The most important thing to raise the child to become a gentleman and avoid falling into such a strange circle is that the parent should give the child unconditional love.
Only when children fully feel loved and loved, can they gain enough security and understand that at any time they do not have to wronged themselves to please others, no matter when "being themselves" is the most important.
Of course, in order to cultivate children as a "gentleman", parents also need to lead by example, so that children know how to treat others with courtesy, have responsibility, and at the same time know how to warm themselves, they can warm others, so that children can be loved by everyone while growing up healthily.
Old Miao Conclusion:
Every parent wants their child to be well-behaved and sensible, but sometimes they ignore their children's feelings.
Raising a little boy, instead of raising him into a "little warm man" who only knows how to please others, it is better to train him to be a principled "gentleman", such family education is a higher realm of parenting.
Today's topic: Do you have such a "little warm man" around you?
I am Lao Miao, a super grandfather after the 80s, and the most eye-catching male head nurse in the hospital, welcome to discuss the issue of pregnancy together, and please pay attention to Lao Miao.