Text | Rice grain mom
Recently the parent committee has come out of the news again, some time ago, the rice grain mother article "37 parents 2 joint petitions: a conflict that took a year, at least affected 40 children", the 37 people of the parent committee petitioned to dissuade a child's heat has not subsided, these days there is another thing: the parent committee mandatory requires all parents to agree to the school to stay homework, do not agree to kick out the group chat.
The parent committee is indeed an organization that has only emerged in recent years, whether it is a kindergarten or a primary school, it will select enthusiastic parents to form a parent committee at the beginning of the school year.
It is undeniable that they are really enthusiastic and have been busy with many specific things in the "home-school co-education". But why has some parent committees gradually changed their taste recently? Rice mother wants to break with everyone in this article.
Parents have been working hard for a long time
When The rice grain mother went to school, there was no such organization as a parent committee, which was a new thing for this class of children.
In my impression, when I was a child, the link between parents and the school was completely dependent on the parent-teacher meeting at the end of the term, and if I was usually "fortunate" to be "treated" by the teacher with the highest courtesy of "please parents", then 80% of the problem was quite serious and it was more difficult to end.
Parents play a particularly important role in school education, especially the Parents' Committee, which can be said to be involved in school education in every detail.
This raises a range of questions.
Just like the 37 parents who petitioned to dissuade students and forced parents to agree to leave homework and exams, these parent committees more or less reflected some bullying tendencies.
I remember when the rice grains were in the first grade, the parent committee had just been established, and they took the lead in donating things to the school in the group. Disposable paper cups, paper pumps, hand sanitizer, sweeping sets...
These things did not seem to have much money, but they took the lead in donating and called on everyone to donate "voluntarily". If you don't donate, you will definitely be marginalized.
When the rice grain was in the first grade, I urged me every day: "Mom, the students have donated things, let's buy some, we have to contribute to the class collective!" ”
The child's original intention is good, but the child can be so eager to donate things, it must be because he sees that his classmates have donated, and he cannot be left behind.
Is this kind of contribution wrapped up in the towel getting farther and farther away from the original intention of the donation?
There are many similar things, such as the parent committee of the rice grain class, which will charge everyone a class fee once a semester, and collect it in the form of group collection in a small group without a teacher.
This fee is used as an expense for some matters of the class, such as buying gifts for teachers on Teacher's Day.
Take the last Teacher's Day, for example, the PTA uses the class fee to buy gifts for the teacher on behalf of the whole class, and they select two kinds of gifts for everyone to vote, and the highest vote is determined as a gift.
This may seem like a resounding problem, but if you think about it, there is a problem:
1. Parents and students who have the intention of giving gifts should send an additional one separately. And this collective gift with a part of the class fee, is it a gift that you recognize? Is it a cost that you are willing to pay?
Second, parents who have no intention of giving gifts themselves need to passively spend this part of the class fee on gifts, do they approve of it?
Third, the person who gave this gift must be the representative of the Parents Committee, can this representative represent all parents? Or did she let herself brush her face in front of the teacher in the name of all the parents, leaving a deeper impression?
If one of the parents does want to give a group gift, but what they want to send is not among the alternative gifts of the PTA, can the PTA adopt her opinion?
A simple gift for the class fee seems to be voluntary, but there are too many elements that are wrapped up, aren't they?
Why did the PTA cross the line
After the implementation of the double reduction policy, many of the teaching methods that could be implemented in the school could not be pushed back. The PTA acts as a tool for "illegal operations" in it.
The PTA is an autonomous organization, so all actions can be called "voluntary".
For example, when a school holds a sports day, children need to purchase drinking water for activities, and the school will entrust the parent committee to take full responsibility for the purchase and cost sharing.
This work seems to be undertaken by parents in order to support the resources of school activities, but it is actually authorized by the school to authorize the Parents Committee.
Teaching and auxiliary materials are not now not allowed to be bought uniformly, it does not matter, as long as the parents committee is authorized, calling on everyone to continue to buy and continue to use them voluntarily.
Similar operations really provide great convenience for school work, but the parent committee is too easy to change the taste in this mode, and the bullying that appears after alienation is also an inevitable result.
Mi Grain Mom feels that the Parents' Committee, as a bridge between the school and parents, should be a two-way channel.
That is to say, the parents' committee should convey the parents' demands and ideas to the school in a timely manner, and at the same time assist the school to do a good job in the cooperation of parents, which is a benign working model.
But obviously, this is difficult to do, and the current PTA is usually a one-way channel, they only pass instructions to parents on behalf of the school, and do not give feedback to the school on the parents' wishes.
Because parents join the parents' committee, there are more or less selfish intentions. They hope that by increasing their communication with teachers, they can get more information about their children's situation in school, and at the same time, they can let their children get more attention and care from teachers.
In addition, the parents on the PTA come from all walks of life, their understanding of education itself is unlikely to take into account all the children in the class, and the advice they provide is usually only related to the vital interests of their children.
Therefore, the nature of this autonomous organization in serving the collective cannot be realized at all, but it is easy to become a means of satisfying its own interests and facilitating its own children.
The rice grain mother remembered an incident that the selection sister complained about the other day.
Her family's school uniformly ordered lunches, and the father of one of the students directly said in a large group: "How do you feel that the quality of the lunches eaten by the children has plummeted?" I don't have an appetite when I look at it, can I eat it? ”
Immediately after, the small group without teachers turned upside down (their class built a small group without teachers, all parents). Parents followed the father's words and complained about the school's meal standard:
"The color of the dish is so heavy, how can a child eat such a heavy mouth when he grows up?"
"There is no appetite for watching, and the child is estimated to be unable to eat."
At this time, someone proposed that it was possible to let the parents committee negotiate with the school on behalf of everyone and give feedback on everyone's opinions.
The PTA agreed, but in the afternoon, the point came!
The head of the parent committee feedback, "Thank you for your trust, we have given everyone's feedback to the school, and the school leaders attach great importance to it, XXXX." ”
A large list of what I said later can't be remembered clearly, probably to say that the meals delivered by the catering company have undergone a reasonable nutritional ratio, and the meal production process has also been supervised layer by layer, I hope you understand.
Immediately after the words turned, it was another sentence, and the crowd was difficult to reconcile, thinking that the child did not eat well at school, may wish to go home and add another meal to the child alone............
Parents who have opinions on the dishes are naturally not happy, which does not mean that they did not say the same...
It is not good to complain in the large group, directly pull a small group, a few parents discussed, decided to help the child find a small dinner table around the school at noon. Don't ask for anything else, clean and hygienic, reasonable nutrition on the line.
Is it necessary for the PTA to exist?
The original intention of the establishment of the Parents Committee was good. But it is actually difficult to really practice.
Let's not say that the purpose of the school to organize the parents' committee is not to find a mouthpiece to help "change resources" and "pass on information", just to say that the purpose of parents joining the parents' committee is not necessarily based on a sincere heart to serve the class collective.
We also talk about this topic in the company, and a colleague sister happens to be a member of the parent committee of her school.
Talking about why she joined the PTA in the first place, she said:
"In fact, my original intention of joining was indeed for my own children, my daughter is usually timid, does not like to talk, has the opportunity not to know her own fight, belongs to the children who are not very attractive in the class."
Forty or fifty children in the class, my daughter will certainly not attract the attention of the teacher, I hope to join the PTA, often in front of the teacher, so that the teacher also notices my daughter ..."
Is this representative? Parents love their children with all their hearts, and they must be doing everything they can to make their children get further attention and even preferential treatment from teachers.
Membership in the PTA is a good way to get involved.
It is precisely because of this relationship that the PTA is unlikely to go against the intentions of the teacher and the school, but to speak for other parents, to put it bluntly, other children are likely to be competitors of her children, how can she speak out based on the interests of her opponents?
Unless it is related to the interests of their children, the PTA usually works in order to please the school and teachers.
Rice's mother had heard her girlfriend complain about similar things before.
In addition to the large group of the class, there is also a small group of parents without teachers. (A lot of people should be like this, there is a large group, a small group without a teacher, and the same is true of the rice class.) ）
At the beginning of the school year, a few parents objected to the child's seating arrangement, and in the small group, you and I complained one sentence at a time. Unconsciously, I spit on the head of the class teacher...
As a result, within a few days, the teacher found the relevant parents to complain, saying, "My class teacher is really difficult to do..."
According to the parents who ate melons, it was the members of the parent committee who gave the teacher a screenshot of the chat records of the small group...
Rice grain mother felt very suffocated when she heard it, it was almost like a class collective made into a palace fight drama!
So let's go back to the original question: is there still a need for the PTA to exist?
Mi Grain Mother feels that if the Parents Committee can really speak out on behalf of the class collectively, convey opinions and suggestions in both directions, and establish a good "home-school co-education" channel, it is of course necessary to exist. Some PTA committees are really powerful!
A friend of mine in Shenzhen told me that the parent committee of her child's school was very powerful.
It is said that the school requires students to participate in public welfare activities and count credits. However, there are only two kinds of public welfare activities suitable for children, and they cannot be grabbed at all. If you want this credit, you have to find a way to do public welfare activities.
The weather in Shenzhen is very hot, children need to face the scorching sun for a long time to sell roses on the street, and some children even faint directly from heat stroke.
Parents have opinions, find the school, and the school says it can't be managed.
Then the parent committee of this class directly organized to go to the Education Bureau and successfully canceled this credit.
This kind of parent committee that petitions for the people and does practical things will certainly be supported by all parents and students. If the PTA can do things for the whole class sincerely, it is indeed necessary to exist.
But if the PTA can no longer participate in the "home-school co-education" work in a healthy capacity, and even take the social set to the class group, it may indeed cause immeasurable harm to the child.
About the author: @Rice Grain Mom Love To Share (Welcome to Pay Attention), American returnee, Haidian parent, when the first place in the new book list "Parent-child English Book That Affects Children's Life" author. Focus on the scientific parenting of 0-5-year-old babies, learning enlightenment, and the world's novelty recommendation, welcome to pay attention! (5-12 years old bao mom please pay attention to: @ rice grain mother channel)