【Mother's Day Special】"Sleeping Curse": A Prototype Analysis of the Mother-Daughter Relationship from Symbiosis to Separation

The relationship between mother and child is the most primitive emotional archetype of human beings, and it is from the relationship with mother that the child develops a link with others and the world, which can be said to be the basis of all emotional relations. On a deeper level, it is also the presentation of the archetype of the relationship between the conscious and the unconscious, the feminine and the masculine force.

The child's self-consciousness sprouts from the unconscious ocean under the protection of the mother's self-nature, and obtains its own self-nature through the integration of yin and yang forces, and finally breaks through the shackles of the mother's unconscious, and is truly born in the human world from the spiritual level, towards its own "heroic journey".

Stages of development of maternal-infant relationships

(Note: The "mother-child relationship" in the title refers to the "early mother-child relationship" in a broader sense to distinguish it from the "mother-child relationship" in the following article as opposed to the "mother-daughter relationship")

We can roughly divide the development of the mother's (role as the first nurturer) and the child's early relationship into three stages:

The stage of monistic relationship: from fusion to symbiosis

At this stage, the baby has not yet differentiated into the self, and the mind is completely unconscious, which is also what Neumann calls the "pre-self stage". At this time, the infant and the mother are a fusion relationship, the infant does not yet have the concept of "me" and "non-me" (object), TA completely relies on the mother's own care, the mother provides the "environmental mother" function of holding, in the holding the baby obtains a feeling of "individualized persistence", the core self is condensed, and self-awareness begins to arise, thus entering the "symbiotic period".

The stage of binary relationship: from symbiosis to separate individualization

At this stage the child has the object concept of "you", but his self and self have not yet established a connection, and his self still needs to rely on the mother's own nature to survive, that is, a period of relative dependence. In this period, in addition to providing the "environmental mother" function of holding, the mother also needs to provide the function of the "object mother", that is, to be able to accept the child's early "aggressive force ratio" and help him achieve transformation and integration, so as to establish the self-self-nature axis and complete the separation from the mother.

Figure: Model of the development of the self-self-nature axis

The stage of ternary relations: from separation and individuation to entry into social rules

At this stage, the child already has a clear boundary between "you" and "me", but it is also necessary to develop and develop the relationship between "other", that is, the child enters from the binary relationship between mother and child into the patriarchal rules (social rules) representing the third party. During this period, children need to integrate parts of themselves in anima or animus and further confirm their gender identity. The role of the mother in this process is equally important, she is the reference of the son's Anima, and the object of the daughter's female identity and transcendence.

Of these three phases, the dualistic relationship phase is particularly critical and complex, as separation from the mother puts the child in a dilemma. In this process, the power to break free forward and backward is constantly tearing and competing.

Compared with the mother-child relationship, the mother-daughter relationship will be greater in the development process because of the homogeneity of both sexes and the feminine and unconscious characteristics of the women themselves, the tension in the development process will be greater, dependence and departure, integration and competition, identification and betrayal, attack and guilt, poisoning and salvation drama is constantly staged, the daughter must identify with the mother and surpass the mother, the mother also projects herself and finds herself on the daughter, which causes the complexity of the relationship between the mother and the daughter at this stage and the difficulty of separation.

We try to explore the intricate "love-hate relationship" between mother and daughter in the binary relationship stage in the Disney fairy tale movie "Sleeping Curse 1".

From "Sleeping Curse 1", we can see the development of the dualistic relationship between mother and daughter

"Sleeping Curse 1" is adapted from the princess fairy tale "Sleeping Beauty", unlike most fairy tales that promote princesses and princes looking for true love, it focuses on the black godmother who has always appeared as a negative character in fairy tales, and presents the archetypal development relationship between mother and daughter in the story, which can be said to be a story in which a mother and daughter find themselves growing up together in a mutual relationship.

Synopsis:

In the story of "Sleeping Curse 1", the heroine Malefissen was originally a kind and beautiful fairy in the Moore Forest of the Elven Kingdom, with super high mana and free-flying wings, and was the guardian of the Elven Kingdom, but she was betrayed by the lovers from the human kingdom, who cut off her wings with a trick in order to be able to become king, and since then the Moore Forest has lost its vitality, and the angry Maleficent has made a spell when the king's daughter was born: on the girl's 16th birthday, she will be pierced by the spindle of the spinning wheel. From now on, she would sleep forever, and only the kiss of true love could awaken her. Out of fear, the king ordered that all the spinning wheels of the country be destroyed and stored in the basement, and that the princess be adopted by three flower elves until she was 16 years old.

Maleficent secretly observed and took care of the princess, in the princess, she seemed to see the innocent and kind self of the past, she hoped that the princess could find true love and lift the spell, and the princess had already noticed the woman who was silently beside her, she let Malefissen be her fairy godmother, Malefissen brought the princess to her elf kingdom, and the princess's innocence and liveliness gave the elf kingdom a new life.

On the day the princess was 16 years old, she inadvertently learned from the flower elf about the curse of the godmother, and felt very sad, she ran back to the palace and found the destroyed spinning wheel in the basement, when one of the spinning wheels turned, she involuntarily put her hand on the spindle, and the spindle pierced her finger, making her pass out.

Maryfison was so anxious to find out, she came to the palace with the prince who loved the princess, hoping to save the princess with his kiss, but it had no effect, she felt very sad and remorseful, and kissed the princess with love and regret, and the princess was awakened by her kiss.

At this time the king surrounded the palace with soldiers and wanted to put Maleficent to death, and the rescued princess hurried to the place where Malefissen's wings were locked, opened the shackles, and the wings returned to Malefissen's body, and The winged Malefithsen was unstoppable and defeated the king, but she had given up her grudge and did not kill the king, and the king fell to her death when he sneaked up on her.

Maleficent demolished the wall of thorns on the outskirts of the Moore Forest and made the princess the queen of the Moore Forest, and she moved out of the Moorish Kingdom. The Moore Forest has regained its former vitality.

The kingdom of elves and the kingdom of man

The theme of "two kingdoms" is pointed out at the beginning of the story, and the "elven kingdom" and the "human kingdom" represent the two parts of the complete mind. The development of the child begins in the elven kingdom, that is, from the unconscious world, which contains the power of instinct and nature, and is also the habitat of the self-natured personality. On this basis, the child slowly develops self-awareness, from the fairy tale world to the real world represented by the "human kingdom"; by adapting to the rules of society, the harmonious unity of the two kingdoms is achieved. As the opening statement goes, "It is said that only a hero or a man of great evil can unite the two worlds." ”

This foreshadows the theme of the film: a heroic journey of how to unify the two worlds, and in particular, it is a journey of two-man heroes.

Movie "Sleeping Curse 1", in which the human kingdom (left) tries to invade the elven kingdom (right)

Guardian of the Elven Kingdom

In the story, Maleficent is the guardian of the elven kingdom, and this is the function of the mother before the child establishes his self-nature axis.

The "elven kingdom" represents the part of the self that distinguishes itself from the self, is the core of the personality, and if the self-world is stable and healthy, then the self will also be energetic and creative. Individuals have psychological problems, often because of self-damage, that is, the elven kingdom has been destroyed, so the "guardian of the elven kingdom" is an important function of the mother in the monistic and binary relationship with the child.

In his paper "Parent-Child Relationship", Winnicott once described this function of the mother: "One of the characteristics of health is the isolation of this core self. In the early stages of development, anything that threatens true autochthonous isolation can cause great anxiety, and the earliest appearance of a baby's defenses is related to the failure of the mother (or maternal parenting), that is, the mother's failure to resist the aggressors that may interfere with the infant's isolation. ”

This intrusion affects the individual's "personal persistent presence", leading to annihilation anxiety in the infant, which hinders self-development.

The mother who can provide this protective function, Winnicott calls it "environmental mother", which he calls "holding". In the film, Maleficent is undoubtedly competent in her "environmental mother" function, she is able to be keenly aware of the needs of babies, drive away poachers who invade the elven kingdom, and let the princess live in it freely and happily.

In the sandbox, the children will also present the theme of the invasion of the forest kingdom or the elven kingdom, they will do this restoration work in the sandbox, and one of the functions of the counselor is also to act as an "environmental mother", guarding the "elf kingdom" of the child's inner "safe and free protection" in the "holding".

Wounded Mother Goddess

Maleficent has the nurturing protection and restoration function of Mother Nature, which is the archetypal image of the nurturing and protective side of the Great Mother God, and elves and magic are also characteristic of the unconscious world where the Mother God is located.

The elven kingdom follows the principles of motherhood, pleasure, and equality, while the human society dominated by male kings represents the world of consciousness, which follows the principles of paternity, reality, and power.

In reality, the theme of "mother god's wounds" can be reflected both at the collective level and at the individual level. The collective level can be manifested in the excessive invasion and destruction of the natural world by human beings, the negation and weakening of the maternal principle in the social system dominated by the principle of paternity, and the individual level may be reflected in the self-damage caused by the harm of the principle of paternity to the principle of motherhood in the female individual mind.

At any level, the wounded and angry mother goddess will wait for an opportunity to take revenge, showing the terrifying devouring side of the angry mother goddess. Natural disasters, fertility reductions and parenting difficulties can all be seen as expressions of the mother god's anger, and the personal level will be reflected in the occupation of the child's own nature by the big mother god, which is also the power of the "sleeping curse".

Maleficent (left) with his wings cut off in Sleeping Curse 1; Angry Maleficent (right)

Sleeping Curse

The unsolvability of the "Sleeping Curse" lies in the fact that it is a paranoid projection of the mind, and the spell can only be lifted if the projection is stopped.

We can see the "king" and "wounded Maleficent" in the story as two aspects of the conscious and unconscious aspects of the "devouring mother" mind in reality, which are divided and hostile, and these inner conflicts and images of the mother are projected onto the daughter.

"Spindle" itself is a sharp object, representing an aggressive positive force, we can call it "aggressive force ratio", but "spindle" installed on the "spinning wheel" can weave beautiful cloth, and cloth can be made into clothes - "cloth" is a creative symbol, and "clothes" has a personality mask that is also a symbol of social function, so "spinning wheel weaving" represents a series of transformation processes of women's aggressive force ratio to themselves.

In Spirited Away, the "Giant Baby" represents the destructive primordial Libido in Chihiro's mind that has not been transformed, and It is by turning the "Giant Baby" into a "little mouse" that she helps spin the thread, completing the transformation and integration of this part of the energy, thus helping Chihiro gain self-nature ("head rope"), from dependence to independence.

"Giant Baby" in Spirited Away (left); Becomes a "Mouse" (right)

Helping the daughter to transform and integrate the aggressive libido to establish the self-self axis is the most important task of the mother in the stage of the daughter's binary relationship. But this part of the "devouring mother" is lost due to the psychological defenses caused by self-inflicted injuries. The "king" destroyed all the "spinning wheels" out of fear, which was tantamount to depriving the princess of this opportunity to grow. In reality, the "devouring mother" also often projects various worries and anxieties on her daughter at the level of consciousness, and over-protects and controls her daughter, which is the manifestation of the fearful "king" at her level of consciousness.

At the same time, at the unconscious level of the "devouring mother", the wounded part of the self also hides anger, as well as the hatred and jealousy of the daughter that is diverted by the damage to the self. The daughter will also feel the threat from the mother's unconscious, full of fear and guilt for expressing aggressive force bido, and restrain her own motivation for development, this part of the psychology is clearly presented in the movie "Frozen" Princess Elsa.

But this aggressive force ratio is a kind of inner self-expression of life force, but also towards the departure of the mother's growth momentum, can not disappear invisibly, just like the princess in the dark basement to see the spinning wheel, the spinning wheel will automatically rotate, this is a kind of spiritual vitality of the activation. When this libido cannot be expressed outward, it will turn to herself, which is why the princess can't help but go to the spinning wheel and stab her finger- while hurting herself, she also puts herself into a state of numbness and sleep, in order to balance this unbearable psychological conflict, and also complete the passive attack on the mother.

It is under this psychological motivation that the mother deprives her daughter of the right to develop her own nature, and she only allows her daughter to live in her own lifeless self-nature kingdom, adding vitality to this land shrouded in darkness, and the daughter invisibly becomes a sacrifice to the "wounded mother goddess".

The confinement of this mother-daughter relationship is also reflected in the relationship between demeter, the goddess of the earth, and her daughter Palsefene—only in the days when the daughter is with her, Mother Earth can rejuvenate, while the daughter's other half of the time has to live in the gloomy dungeon.

The movie "Black Swan" also presents a similar theme, in which the mother projects the frustration and fear of her life onto the daughter, shaping the side of the daughter's well-behaved, pure and elegant "white swan", the daughter can not resist any arrangement of the mother, including the taste of the cake, can only express her aggression through self-harm, and the repressed part of the life force will one day awaken, they incarnate as black swans to kill the "self" manipulated by the mother.

So "sleeping" here also represents a symbolic "death", and "waking up" represents "new life". This is also like the princess 16 years old age of adolescent children often do, to get rid of the control of parents, especially the mother, to find their own "spinning wheel", spinning their own life weaving, even if bleeding and injured.

If the daughter's inner motivation to break free from her mother (aggressive force ratio) is not transformed, it may also lead to another aspect - completely separated from the Great Mother God, completely deviated from the female self- and identified with the fatherly principles of human society. This anti-identity is often due to the fact that the mother does not even provide the parenting function to the daughter, that is, there is a failure of the mother's function in the monistic relationship, resulting in the daughter's "elven kingdom" being invaded very early.

Such women enter the patriarchal society with a negative motherhood complex, hostile to the principle of motherhood. The prince's mother in Sleeping Curse 2 is such a woman. The "spindle" in their hands is a kind of original destructive, destructive aggression that has not been transformed by maternal love, and this aggression is actually directed towards the mother, because the mother's "non-giving" in the monistic and binary relationship makes them full of "envy" for the mother, and they will attack the maternal world by occupying male power, and ultimately cause harm to both male power and female power.

The "envious" mother often lacks parenting functions, and she may fall into depression after giving birth to a child to avoid facing her own lack, or only show the face of a devouring mother, requiring the child to feed herself in the relationship.

The kiss of true love

In both Sleeping Curse 1 and Frozen 1, "Kiss of True Love" appears, and we can see the homogeneity of both: the kiss of the same sex that takes effect, the kiss of the prince that fails, and both films are based on the theme of integrating the mind by realizing the unity of the two kingdoms, as the first part of the series, which deals with the integration of personalities in binary relationships.

So "true love" here represents the dualistic love of "being accepted": the love of mirror reflection. This language of love is: I see the desire for love in your hate, and I see the drive to grow in your aggression.

"Kiss" is a kind of docking and integration, but also has the meaning of nourishment and transformation. When the child is very young, because he cannot integrate the internal instinctive force, and releases his own aggressive force, if the parents always reflect it with an attitude of "deep affection without temptation and resoluteness without hostility" at this time, the child's force ratio will be transformed and integrated.

In the movie "The Spring of the Choir", we can see the children's stubborn and difficult training caused by the principal who believes in stick punishment education, which is a kind of "resolute with hostility", and the substitute teacher uses the music mirror to reflect the children's beautiful nature and guide the children to establish a sense of rules, which is a kind of "resoluteness without hostility";

In "Spirited Away", the inability of the "giant baby" to grow up is because the inner aggressive force Ratiodo has not been transformed by the mirror of The Mother Tang, she does not mirror the child's inner motivation to grow, just treat it in a "feeding" way, so it is forever limited to a "baby" state, which can be said to be a kind of "seductive affection", and "Grandma Qian" feels the need for this growth, guiding the baby's playful and active nature to do creative work: spinning, "giant baby" has grown, What comes into play is "unattractive affection".

In Sleeping Curse 1, the mirror transformation of Maleficent and the princess is two-way. When Maleficent first met the infant princess, the princess's sweet, hostile smile softened her already hateful and hostile gaze in an instant, and in that moment, the transformation had already taken place.

In the mirror of the princess, Malefithen's damaged self is repaired, and when she lets go of hatred and accepts herself, what is projected will be love and acceptance, and the curse will be lifted.

When the princess heard of Malefissen's curse on herself, she saw the evil in maternal love, and the internal conflict caused by this evil caused her to fall into a coma, and when Malefithen came to save the princess at the risk of her life and kissed the princess with love and guilt, the image of the "good mother" returned, love triumphed over hate, and the two images of "good mother" and "bad mother" were integrated, corresponding to the integration within the princess.

When the princess awoke from her slumber, it was not only the princess who was born again, but also Maleficent herself, and with the help of the princess, the wings representing her own nature flew back to Maleficent, and the mother and daughter formed a relationship of mirroring each other and not possessing.

Maleficent, who has given up his hatred, does not want to kill the king after defeating him, but he falls to his death when he tries to sneak up on Maleficent, which shows that when we find our inner love and trust in ourselves, everything outside can no longer hurt us.

The internal integration brought about by "Mirror Love" enables children to establish a self-centered self-nature axis centered on their core self, which prepares them for independence from their mothers. The reason why the Prince's Kiss does not work at this stage is because the "Prince's Kiss" represents the integration of female opposites - animus's three-yuan love, which is the theme of "Sleeping Curse 2" and "Frozen 2", so it is not surprising that "Prince's Kiss" cannot play a role in the first part, which also shows that women cannot experience "triple love" without "dual love".

Transfer of guardianship of the Elven Kingdom

The regained wings of Maleficent and the princess returned to the elven kingdom, the elven kingdom returned to its former vitality, and more importantly, Maleficent handed over the guardianship of the elven kingdom to the princess, which meant that the daughter's self-nature was separated from the mother's self-nature, and she had to take on the responsibility of guarding her own spiritual world, they had become independent individuals, close and bounded, and the acquisition of this differentiation depended on the repair of the mother's self-nature and the transformation of the princess's aggressive force.

In this process, the daughter identifies with the mother's nurturing mother god aspect, and the transcendence of the mother is reflected in helping the mother defeat the negative Animus and transform the negative devouring aspect of the mother god. In this relationship, the mother and child mirror each other, lifting the shackles of the spell on the binary relationship and achieving common growth.

Unfinished journeys

Although the war between the elven kingdom and the human kingdom has come to an end, in "Sleeping Curse 1", the two kingdoms have not yet achieved a true sense of unity, and the princess has only become the guardian of the elven kingdom and has not yet gained an identity in human society, which means that her heroic journey is only halfway through.

Becoming the guardian of the elven kingdom shows that she has acquired maternal identity through the link with the positive mother, and as a woman, she needs to go through the identity of the daughter, mother and wife (male spouse) in order to complete the self-sexual journey of the first half of life, and to achieve the identity of the wife, that is, to become the queen of the human kingdom, it is necessary to integrate the opposite of gender, Animus, this process still needs to be carried out on the basis of identifying with the mother and transcending the mother.

Also because of the homogeneity of women, mothers and daughters still have competition and competition in Animus, if the mother's wife identity is a failure, and the integration of the inner female orientation and male orientation is not achieved, in the link between the daughter and animus, the "jealous mother" side will be displayed, by occupying Animus or like Snow White's stepmother, by "poisoning" or "degrading" to reduce the daughter's sense of self-worth.

Only with the help of the power of the positive mother god and the dual power of the saving and helpful Animus can the daughter defeat the jealous mother. In the end, from the dual relationship to the three-dimensional relationship, on the basis of identifying with female values and female identity, a positive link is established with the rules of patriarchal society, and the unification of the two kingdoms is truly realized, which is the theme of "Sleeping Curse 2".

In today's pervasive parenting anxiety, the desire to get the "kiss of true love" representing "mirror love" is how many children trapped in binary relationships - we can constantly see the call to "environmental mother" and "object mother" from their love for stories such as "Frozen" and "Sleeping Curse", and in the presentation of the spiritual world of the sandbox.

At the same time, we should also see the self-sacrifice that mothers as women may have to endure in this patriarchal competitive society, but this inner strength has never been lost, it has always been there. As the theme song of Sleeping Curse 1 sings:

"I know you, I once wandered with you in a dream, I know the light in your eyes, the flickering light is so familiar, and I know how real it is, and that fantasy seems difficult to see again, but if I know you, I know what you will do, you will love me again, in your way, in the dream, but if I know you, I know what you will do, you will love me again, the same experience is the same way you are, once again appear in the dream." 」

On Mother's Day, I wish every mother a twinkle in her eye.

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