Wen | Cheats Jun
After more than a year, I still remember a scene in a taxi.
I was carpooling with a guy and the driver was chatting with that guy. Speaking of his own children, the driver looked like he hated iron not steel.
"This kid in my family is even more angry, he steals money from the house!" He stole the money and spent it himself, he gave it all to a classmate in the class, and when I found out, I asked him, not once or twice! ”
"I'm so angry, hold him down and give him a good beating." Never seen such a useless child! ”
I was very sad to hear. His child was obviously coerced and bullied, and when the father did not realize it, he beat the child up. I don't know what happened to this child, did the classmate who bullied him stop?
When it comes to being bullied, parents will have a cold heart, and no one wants this kind of thing to happen to their babies.
If the child encounters this situation, the parent's first reaction is to tell the child to fight back, if the child does not dare, the parents either tell the teacher, or directly come out to meet the bully's parents, it does not work, it may have to go to the extreme - run to the school to find the bully, with the majesty of the adult to suppress him.
After a child is bullied, the above is a common practice. But is the effect really good? The views of foreign teachers are a bit out of the glasses. They believe that it is ineffective to scare bullies or to find parents who go to them, and they feel that there is no need to go to them.
Because if the parents come forward, they will be considered by the bully to be "weak behavior": you are so useless, you have begun to ask adults for help? His discrimination against his victims will increase, and bullying will become more secretive: children who are bullied are often threatened to tell their parents what they are doing, and thus dare not tell them. The parents were kept in the dark and thought that as soon as they came forward, the matter had been resolved.
Finding bullying parents is also ineffective because many children become bullies because the family environment is caused by the family environment. Such children, their parents know, the better will say that the child is a pass, more is to stand with the child, and quarrel with the parents who come to the door, what can be solved?
So, what do we do without looking for a bully or the other parent?
Now there is only one way left: to tell the teacher.
Speaking of this solution, many parents shake their heads. That's because many times, the teacher knows and just calls the parents of both sides to give each other advice.
In fact, in foreign countries, when encountering bullying situations, the teacher's handling method is completely different.
In Germany, teachers and community service workers are trained specifically in the handling of bullying.
If someone in school is bullied, the first thing a teacher usually does is tell the victim that it's not your fault. At the same time, tell him that the teacher will take action to make the situation better, please reassure him.
The second thing is to set up a support group.
The members of this support group consisted of a small group of half bullies and half of the class who had a sense of justice or were braver. The teacher would bring the group together and ask, "How can I make the victims as happy as they used to be in school, rather than being scared all day?" ”
When the "support group" gives suggestions after discussion, the teacher will let them implement their own suggestions, and after a week or two, talk to the members of the "support group" one by one to confirm the victim's situation and see if the bullying phenomenon has disappeared.
Talk to the victim after 3 to 4 weeks and ask how the victim feels, so as not to leave a psychological shadow.
In Germany, 85% of school bullying is addressed through this process.
Why bypass the punishment of the bully, bypass the bully's parents, and seek "third-party" help?
Because they believe that school bullying is not an individual act, but a collective evil. Among them, the small gangs of bullyers, onlookers, and bystanders are all considered "accomplices". The psychological shadow left by the victim is also often caused by these microenvironments. What teachers do is to change these micro-environments, from connivance to bullying to denial and suppression of bullying. Only in this way will the soil of "bullying" be eradicated.
What do you think about that?
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers. Welcome to pay attention to [Parenting Cheats], you want to know about parenting nursing, growth and development, family education, mental health, you can find the answer here!