Parents, not easy to do, the average person thinks that married, have children, have the qualifications to be a parent, in fact, it is not.
Parents, if you want to raise your children well, before becoming a parent, you should ask yourself: Do you know how to raise children? What qualifications are there to be the father or mother of a child? How to raise a child so that both the child's body and mind are fully and properly developed? These should be understood before they are worthy of being the father or mother of the child. Now, based on my experience for more than ten years, I will talk to you about how to be a parent.
▲ Chen Heqin (l892-1982) is a famous educator and expert in child education, who was the honorary president of the China Education Society and the honorary chairman of the China Early Childhood Education Research Association.
As a parent, you must be aware of your child's body
What kind of state
The child's torso
A child of one or two years old, whose torso, in proportion to the height of his whole body, is longer than our adults, and his limbs are much shorter. Therefore, children stand for a long time, and it is easy to become diseases such as crooked legs and bent foot back.
As a parent, try to give children more opportunities to sit and play games, and reduce the fatigue of the weight of the legs supporting the torso. It is best to prepare several rocking chairs, three-wheeled bicycles and other game equipment for children to play, but also in the corridor, garden and other places, place a few low stools, children are tired of playing, you can sit down and rest, which is very beneficial to the child's body.
The child's heart
We know that children's hearts beat faster than adults, so children are prone to danger if they do long-term and vigorous exercise.
Parents should pay attention to the situation of the child's game, if the child is breathless, try to persuade him to rest or guide him to do other things. For example, it is okay to lead a child to play on the grass, let him lie on the grass, or climb on the grass.
Your child's digestibility
Children's digestion is very weak, and they can't chew it carefully when they eat.
Parents, should pay attention to the child's diet, to choose easy to digest food for the child to eat, but also pay attention to the appropriate amount, three meals a day, it is best to eat less snacks. These points about the physical condition, and we adults are completely different, parents must understand clearly, in order to enable children to get appropriate care.
As a parent, you must be clear about the psychology of your child
How to develop
Kids are good at playing
Three- or four-year-old children, in the family like to push the chair around to play, sometimes with younger siblings and other chairs to carry around, get a wooden stick, or a bamboo pole, you have to knock here, knock there, and sometimes carry the gun on your back. Therefore, children live by play, and games must be helped by toys.
Parents should prepare some good toys for their children, so that children can get full play, strengthen their children's bodies, and be happy with their children's state of mind.
Children are curious
Five or six-month-old babies, as soon as they hear a sound, turn their heads to look for it, and as soon as they see something, they have to reach out and take it. By the age of four or five, his curious movements were particularly numerous. Seeing the car coming on the road, always have to stop and look, hear the gong and drum outside, always run out to see; When you see a piece of ice, you always have to reach out and touch it, and when you encounter something you don't understand, you always have to ask for an understanding.
The parent should let him see, touch, and answer his questions. In this way, the child can know what the car is, what tricks are played in the gong and drum field, how cold the ice is, and if so, he can gain a lot of knowledge about daily life.
Kids are good bunches
A child loves to play with many people, and if he is told to leave his companions, he will cry. Two-year-old children, to play with their companions, to five or six years old, this good group of hearts developed more strengthened, if there is no partner to play at this time, he must feel lonely and miserable.
Parents should guide their children, often play with their younger siblings, etc., and if there is a neighbor's child running to play, parents should welcome them. If they build a house together, build a bridge, or line up to be a creep, the parents see it, say two good words, and encourage them to succeed. Because of this kind of activity, we must help each other and cooperate in order to have a satisfactory play. Mutual assistance and cooperation are the most important conditions for human life.
Children love living in the wild
Children like to live in the wild, they are happy when they go outside the door, and they are unhappy at home all day. There are many reasons why children cry at home, although there are many, but they can't go outside to see and play, which is also a big reason.
Parents should take their children outside to play in their free time, let them run around in the wilderness, see the appearance of grass and trees, see the shape of birds and animals, see the color of the sky, pick wildflowers, throw stones, this kind of wild play, for children's body, knowledge, behavior has a good impact.
As mentioned above: (1) good games, (2) curiosity, (3) good groups, (4) good wild life, these points are the psychological performance of children, parents must understand, and in accordance with the situation of these performances to educate, in order to receive good results.
As a parent you have to be clear
Ways to love children
There is no parent who does not love their children, but the method of love is easy to get wrong.
Some parents, seeing their child turning things around, or noisy and disobedient, beat him and scold him.
Some parents, who do not understand the physical and psychological condition of their children, often discipline their children like prisoners because of their own prejudices.
So what cruelty, irritability and other viciousness, also grew up. When it was his turn to be a parent, he unconsciously taught his own methods from his parents to his children, so that they were badly affected from generation to generation.
The true way parents love their children is to take care of their children's needs. Like what:
1. The child will eat by himself, and the parent should let him eat by himself, do not chew and feed him; And to buy a set of tables, stools, bowls, dishes and other suitable for children's eating utensils, do not ask children to stand on the chair or put small stools on the chair for children to sit and eat, which is very inappropriate.
2. The clothes worn by children should take into account the color and style that children like, as long as they are comfortable and moderately warm and cold. Don't give him our adult-style robes and coats, high necks and big sleeves, hinder his running, and make the child feel inconvenient.
3. When the child sleeps, he should be allowed to sleep alone in a small bed, do not sleep with his parents, and the sleep time of the child should be at least ten hours or more, and the sleep time of our adults is at most eight hours.
4. Parents should let their children run and dance and sing freely, and never hold the child's hand.
5. All household equipment, such as handles on doors, latches on windows, as well as washbasins, hand towels, etc., should be used by children.
Parents who love their children should practice reasonable love according to the examples given above, so as to avoid wrong love.
But there is also a situation, that is, coddling, which is also inappropriate.
Some parents treat their children as babies, how children want to eat, all day long can not stop eating, parents do not prohibit, do not let children be diligent, a little activity, force children to sit, elegant reading, writing, for a long time, children because there is no activity, feel pain, see the book is afraid, not only knowledge has not grown, the body is getting thinner and weaker, parents are originally loving their children, but the result is that parents have harmed their children. Therefore, it is not appropriate to love wrongly, and it is even more inappropriate to spoil. Love, we must understand the method of love, in order to raise children well, teach well.
As a parent, you have to correct your own wrong thoughts
What is wrong with parents' concept of children? Like what:
A child is a little person
Because parents regard the child as a rudimentary adult, they want to shorten his period as a child, so that he can become an adult as soon as possible, so that the child's status is completely erased, and the child's interests are ignored.
Children are the property of their parents
As the saying goes: "Jigu prevents hunger, raise children and prevent old age." "It can be seen that parents have already regarded their children as assets. The money that parents now use on their children, such as investments in business, will be interested in the future and can be recovered. In this way, the child becomes an appendage of the parents and loses their independent personality.
Children are wrong, parents are right
As the saying goes, "There are no parents in the world", and all the reasons that can be seen are parents' and all faults are children's. But if we study it carefully and look at the past with reasonable eyes, under normal circumstances, most children are right, and most parents are wrong. Although children sometimes make mistakes, that mistake is probably caused by the mistakes of their parents.
We now want to correct the above three erroneous thoughts:
First, we must regard the child as a child, and we must not try to shorten his period of being a child, and we must not deprive him of the rights that he should enjoy during his childhood.
Second, we must respect the personality of the child, not treat him as an asset, selfish love, not true love, only non-selfish love, can be counted as true love. You must know that raising children is the responsibility of parents, and if you can cultivate children, it is to be loyal to the country and serve mankind.
Third, to break their own prejudices, when encountering any problems, we should humbly study whether the child's fault is the child's fault, but also their own fault, and they must not be wronged against the child.
In addition to the above three wrong thoughts, parents often make two mistakes in action:
(i) Whenever there is discord between parents, they quarrel in front of their children, and sometimes even use force, thus leaving a very bad impression on the child's mind.
(2) If the father or mother is unhappy in his heart and is inconvenient to conflict with his family, he will take the child out of anger to vent the depression in his chest, so that the child will be in great pain.
How can these two erroneous actions be corrected?
First, parents are better off not arguing with each other, and if they have to argue in order to feel comfortable, then the best way is to close the door and make a noise in their bedroom, and never let the children see or hear.
Second, if the father or mother has any unhappy things in her heart, it is best to play the piano, sing songs for recreation, or go outside to walk and wander, you can also relieve your sullenness, do not get angry on the child, and pat the table and bench in front of the child.
Lead by example as a parent
This one is very important.
We know that children are born good, born ignorant and ignorant, and how parents do, children learn.
Every move of parenting directly or indirectly affects children. So what kind of person is the parent, and what kind of person their children are probably. However, the environment of the child is not limited to the parents' every move, but also affected by various environments. But the influence of parents came sooner than any other.
Parents like to drink, children probably like to drink, parents like to smoke, children probably like to smoke. Parents talk and spit, there is no order, children talk unconsciously like parents, in short, the behavior of parents is good, and the behavior of children is probably good.
Conversely, if a parent behaves badly, his child's behavior is probably also bad. Therefore, parents must lead by example in raising their children. Listeners, you may be able to understand this sentence, but in fact, the average parent can really abide by it, I am afraid that there is no one who can abide by it.
All in all, being a parent is not an easy task,
There is a great responsibility,
Only those who can raise their children well are qualified to be parents.
If you take the child as a test object or a victim, then I am really sorry for the child.
I hope that those who are parents will pay attention to what I said today, and raise their children, not only will their children be happy, but their parents will be comforted, and even the society and the country will also receive a lot of benefits!
Source: The picture and text come from the network, invaded and deleted.
EDIT: Xiao Huang