Chen Heqin: The education for children should be like this

Chen Heqin put forward the theory of living education. Attaching importance to scientific experiments, advocating that Chinese children's education conforms to the law of children's physical and mental development, his theory of family education is simple and thought-provoking, and this concept is also suitable for teachers to treat children's education.

▲ Chen Heqin (l892-1982) is a famous educator and expert in child education, who was the honorary president of the China Education Society and the honorary chairman of the China Early Childhood Education Research Association.

Parents are better off using positive cues and not negative commands

Example:

On May 10, 1923, I saw Yiming play with a piece of tattered cotton wool wrapped around his body as a felt blanket. At that time, many feelings arose in my mind: I would still take away his broken cotton wool at once, or let him play with it for an experience; or tell him to throw away the cotton wool, or replace it with something else. Think about it and use positive cues to guide him well. I said to him, "It's very dirty and smelly, I think you don't want it, you want a clean piece, you run to the room and ask your mother to get a clean one." He listened and went to his room to change into a clean blanket.

Discussion: Ordinary people, inspired to change, is very easy, scolded and changed, compared to not easy, and children especially like to listen to good words, not like to listen to bad words.

I know that children probably have this kind of mentality, so I use the motivational education method to teach Yiming a lesson, and as soon as I hear that I reward him, I am very happy to change his own faults.

If, as soon as I saw him playing with the tattered cotton wool, I took the piece of cotton wool and replaced him with a new one, lest he be inexplicable about my movements, and he would resentful, and he would not only reject my intentions, but also cry.

Even if I don't take his cotton wool and say to him, "This thing is dirty, smelly, throw it away," then although he knows that this thing is dirty and should not be played, but because he has no good things to replace, I am afraid that he still refuses to give it up.

Most parents, when they see their child playing with something dirty, they will unexpectedly snatch it away, and they will scold him and even beat him.

As a result, children change less and resent their parents more; that is, they do not resent their parents, at least they must dislike their parents a little! There are also many children who, because their parents often scold him, slowly do not care about their parents' words. The parent side robs him of his dirty things, the child side still takes them; the parent side scolds him, and he still plays with dirty things.

Obviously, parents teach their children in this way, so that the children can not change. And slowly develop the habit of naughty evil.

Positive encouragement is much better than negative stimulation

(1) Zhizhen's mother loves Zhizhen very much, but she wants Zhizhen to do everything well. If you do it a little wrong, or if you don't do it properly, she will sternly accuse: "Here is not done well, there is done wrong, someone is as big as you, but better than you, you want to be unlucky or not unlucky." ”

She meant that this kind of lesson would inspire Zhizhen's talent and arouse Zhizhen's interest in doing things. Where to know that Zhizhen not only did not follow the mother's orders and improve, but instead had an attitude of laziness and discouragement and unwillingness to study diligently. When his mother saw that he was so unwilling to learn, she stimulated him with all kinds of negative methods, and the more he refused to learn.

(2) Bingxin's mother also loves Bingxin, but she understands Bingxin's psychology very well, and the teachings used are in contrast to those used by Zhizhen's mother. When Bingxin did things a little better, his mother praised him and said, "Bingxin, you are strong, you are so beautiful here, and it is so neatly done there." Bing Xin felt very happy when he heard it, and the next time he did it, he was particularly willing to do it and was willing to learn. One day, Bing xin (who was about four years old at the time) saw something dirty on the ground, so he went to take a broom and sweep away the dirt; although it was not cleaned like an adult, her mother praised it with great praise when she saw it.

After that, Bingxin often went to clean up the filth and soon became able to clean it. This is just one example. In short, whether Bingxin does things or reads, her mother always uses positive methods to encourage, so Bingxin especially likes to do things and likes to learn.

discuss:

When we were young in the private school, the teacher wrote a circle every day with red silver [Shi Zhu] for the words we wrote well; a cross for those who wrote badly. If we get a lot of "red duck eggs" today, we will be very happy in our hearts, and the next time we learn words, we must be more attentive. If we "eat a few poles" today, we will feel unhappy in our hearts and will not want to show them to our parents when we go home.

When we learned to write the next day, we either didn't get a little nervous, or we had the courage to try again and see how we wrote this time. If you "eat a lot of poles" this time, then when you learn words on the third day, you will not be happy to learn, and the words you write will not be well written.

From this point of view, children like rewards and do not like to inhibit. The more he rewards him, the more he likes to learn; the more he inhibits him, the less he likes to learn. The more you like to learn, the more experience you have, the greater the ability to learn; the greater the ability to learn, the easier it is to learn.

The more things you learn, the stronger your self-confidence in doing things. If a child does not like to learn, the more he does not learn; if he does not learn, the weaker his ability to do things becomes.

In summary:

Positive encouragement is better than negative stimulus, but the method of encouragement is not used too much, and it is afraid that it will lose its effectiveness; if it is used properly, it is also good, but it can only be done occasionally.

We parents must know that the child is a child, his experience is not as rich as an adult, his ability to do things is not as strong as an adult, and his knowledge is not as sufficient as that of an adult, so we should not criticize the work of children by adult standards.

Zhizhen's mother did not understand this psychology and specifically used negative methods to stimulate Zhizhen, and Zhizhen refused to learn. Bingxin's mother understands this psychology and uses encouraging methods to teach Bingxin, and Bingxin is very happy to learn. In this way, we should use more positive encouragement and less negative stimulation.

The child is good at imitation, and the parents must choose the environment for him to dominate his imitation

(1) When a song reaches the 10th month, as soon as he hears someone singing, he also makes a singing tone.

(ii) In the 54th week, when he sees his cousin reading, he will also read, and when he sees his cousin writing, he must also write; if you do not read to him or write to him, he will cry.

(iii) When he reached the 75th week, he saw me with a stick and showed it to him as a horseman. After a few days, he took a stick and played on the road, and after a while, he put the stick on the ground and rode it with his feet as a horse.

(iv) Imitation of spitting: One day, I was careless and spit out a mouthful of phlegm from the terrace, and he (who was 77 weeks old at the time) saw it and made a spitting appearance.

Kids imitate it. Although the results of his imitation are not the same as the actions he imitates, some of them are similar. Although Ru Yiming can sing the tone and lyrics like I sang, he can sing a toned voice, showing his imitation. Older children are probably taller than younger children in terms of the degree of imitation of things; intelligent children are probably deeper than stupid children. There is also a layer,

What we need to know: that is, the child's concept of good and evil is very weak, and the general knowledge is very superficial, so he has no choice for the things that the technology imitates. For example, if he sees his father spitting on the ground, he will spit and look; when he sees his father smoking, he will also suck and see; or if he hears his mother cursing people with evil words, he will also scold and look; when he sees his mother doing needlework and washing clothes, he will also do washing and seeing.

In short, every move of our adults, every word, can affect the child, who, after reading and listening to it, or immediately wants to do it, talk about it, or do it later; what he does and says is different from what we adults do and say, but they are somewhat similar.

Therefore, we must lead by example in everything we do as parents, and pay attention to the environment in which the child is located everywhere, so that what he hears and sees is good. In this way, he was naturally also well influenced.

Parents should not use an imperative tone to direct their children

Rongsheng played leather ball at school one day, and when he came home in the afternoon, he was already very tired. His father saw him returning, told him to go shopping in the street and said, "Rongsheng! Go buy some stationery envelopes! Rongsheng's body was already tired and he really didn't want to buy it, but his father didn't dare to disobey it, so he had to buy it, and he squeaked and said unhappy words all the way.

Discussion: Children probably don't want to listen to imperatives. Therefore, parents do not have a good reason to direct their children with an imperative tone.

If sometimes a child should do something, you must tell him to do it, do not ask him to do it because he refuses to do it; as soon as the command is given, it must be obeyed by the child no matter what, but we must solemnly take our orders, we must not make them random, and it is better to make the child understand our destiny. In this way, the child becomes beautiful and tame, and will not be unprovoked to violate the will of the parents, and the parents will not be angry for no reason.

Parents should not say "No!" to their children too much. ”

One morning, making snow in the snow, I stood by and watched, not at all to forbid him. Later, he wanted to eat candy before eating, and I said "no", and he quarreled over "ngng" because I did not allow his request, and I did not care about him, and went straight to other places.

Discussion: If something is feasible, let him do it; if it is not feasible, he is forbidden to do it. This is the proper way to treat your children as parents. If, regardless of whether the matter is right or not, he blindly forbids him, then the child will be at a loss.

This kind of education is not only impossible in fact, but also unreasonable in reason. Snow in the snow is a very beneficial thing, both to enjoy the scenery of the snow, but also to know the nature of the snow, in the child's body, temperament, can get great benefits, parents should not forbid him, if it is feasible, call him to do; if it is not feasible, forbid him to do.