Today, it is the second day of the May Day holiday, which is the longest holiday in addition to the Spring Festival and National Day, and it is also a good opportunity for people to travel. However, due to the epidemic and other factors, many people's May Day plan has been in vain.
For example, I, in previous years, on May Day, would go to the place where my parents worked, accompany my parents, although I did not sleep all night on the train on the night of the holiday, exhausted, after four days, I had to take an afternoon train to come back, but that was also the happiest time for my parents.
Bi Shumin said in the article "Filial Piety is Priceless": "I believe that every child who is sincere and loyal has made a 'filial piety' wish to his parents in his heart, believes that the coming day is long, believes that the water will come to fruition, and believes that he will be able to fulfill his filial piety on the day when he returns to his hometown with success and fame." It is a pity that people have forgotten, forgotten the cruelty of time, forgotten the brevity of life, and forgotten that life itself has a fragile vulnerability. ”
It is a great regret in life that the son wants to be raised and does not wait, so if it is possible and has the opportunity, we need to seize it and set aside as much time as possible to accompany our parents and fulfill our filial piety.
However, the father's kindness and filial piety, the parents' love, give the children the affection and warmth they need, naturally deserve the filial respect of the children, if the parents are not loving, even let the original family become the deepest scar in the hearts of the children, even if the children want filial piety, they cannot do it.
Psychologist Adler said: "Lucky people are cured of childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives." ”
Meeting patriarchal parents is really the biggest ordeal in a girl's life. If a girl gives in and is brainwashed, her life will be ruined.
"Daughter, why don't you come home on May Day?" Mom bought shrimp, bought your favorite fruit, and has been waiting for you to come back! ”
Listening to her mother's words, Ma Zhaodi did not want to quarrel with her mother at first, and on the grounds of the epidemic, she said that she could not go back, but her mother did not forgive, thinking that there was no epidemic in the city and hometown where Ma Zhaodi was located, and complained bitterly that her daughter was not filial piety and asked her daughter to come back immediately.
Seeing that the old mother did not forgive, Ma Zhaodi was really intolerable, a sentence pierced the reason why the mother desperately wanted her daughter to go home, not thinking of her, but thinking of the money in her hand: "If I go back, I can't leave without taking 200,000, right?" If I go back, your son's marriage will be over, right? ”
01. Of course, my parents love you, how many times this sentence has disappointed me and how many times my heart has been broken;
Once upon a time, Ma Zhaodi also held out hope and believed in the words that his parents constantly emphasized, "Of course, your parents love you."
How did the parents explain their eccentricities to Ma Zhaodi? They have good reasons.
"Broken bones and tendons, brother is your dearest person, can protect you in the future, if only you are the only one, you are bullied, your parents can not stand for you when they are old, there is a brother, it is different." 」
"The younger brother is the hope of our family, he is doing well, naturally he will not forget your sister, will take care of you for a lifetime, he is much more reliable than a man, after all, you have the same blood flowing on your body." 」
Ma Zhaodi did believe in her parents' words at the beginning, thinking that her parents love themselves, but also require themselves to love their brother, so when she was still in college, she knew how to use the money she earned from her part-time job to buy things for her brother, and she would not be jealous when she saw that her parents gave all the good things to her brother, in the first year of graduation, her monthly salary was only more than 3,000, and she would rather live in a basement with a very poor environment, but also to save money and save money, and strive to give her parents some more money for her brother to study.
"However, when I was sick and hospitalized and had no money to buy medicine, I called my parents to ask for money, and my parents actually told me that it would be better to drink more water, I was in good health, strong resistance, and did not need to take medicine." I thought of my brother, don't say he's sick, even if he's lazy and doesn't want to go to class, just make an excuse, his parents can agree to it, call him for leave, ask for warmth, and even don't work to take care of him. ”
"I was unemployed, I didn't want my parents to worry, I didn't tell them, I gave them less money, and their phone immediately called me, complained to me, said I didn't understand things, I told them about my situation, but they didn't believe it, thinking I was making excuses." 」
Ma Zhaodi was disappointed again and again, and gradually discovered the cruel truth that her parents did not love her at all, but she refused to believe it.
02. For my brother, ruined my love, at that moment, I was dead to them;
Until last year, her parents personally ruined Ma Zhaodi's love, making Ma Zhaodi completely disappointed in her original family.
"That was my first love, that was my boyfriend of two years!" My boyfriend's parents promised to buy us a wedding house and promised to give me a dowry of 100,000 at my disposal, is it not enough? My parents are good, and they want 250,000 when they open their mouths, saying that they have raised me for 25 years, and 10,000 a year is enough. After half a day, they raised me, just for this 250,000 yuan? ”
Listening to the request of Ma Zhaodi's parents, the boyfriend and his parents did not agree, Ma Zhaodi panicked, in order to save his marriage, crying and making trouble, and even hunger strike, failed to impress the parents' iron heart.
"The reason why we raised you and provided you with college is that we hope that your academic qualifications can increase your added value and give you more bride price to marry your brother." Why are you so ignorant? Our old couple's income is not high, if your marriage can't be exchanged for enough money, what will your brother do? If he doesn't get married, how can the incense of our old Ma family continue? What face do you want us to see the patriarchs? ”
In the end, Ma Zhaodi, with hatred and despair, sent a text message to her boyfriend "Honey, I'm sorry, I can't bother you, let's break up, you deserve a better girl", blocked the boyfriend, broke this feeling, and also broke the thoughts of parents.
Her parents were not dead hearted and wanted Ma Zhaodi to go on a blind date, at this time, Ma Zhaodi, who had already felt desperate for her parents, no longer wanted to let them dominate her own destiny, she took back her ID card, borrowed some money from her friends, and left home.
03. Don't say I can't come up with 200,000, even if I can, I don't have that obligation;
"Why did my parents want me to go home?" Just because I called and asked me for money, if I didn't want it, come to me, where I live, where the company is, they ask anyone, they can't ask, this is what they forced me to do. ”
Since the marriage was in vain, Ma Zhaodi was disappointed in her parents to the extreme, and she was unwilling to respond to her parents' needs anymore, so in addition to giving them 600 yuan a month as alimony, whether her parents or brother came to ask for money, Ma Zhaodi refused.
During the New Year's Festival, Ma Zhaodi took the initiative to apply for overtime and was unwilling to return to her hometown to see her parents.
"If I go back, they can rummage through my bag, rob my bank card and ID card, and when they can't get the money, they will take my ID card down, let me not go, chase me every day, and scold me until my savings are squeezed dry, you say, what am I going to do when I go back?"
Moreover, Ma Zhaodi has learned the latest news from her cousin in her hometown, her brother is going to get married, she needs to give a bride price, buy a wedding house, and she still owes 250,000 yuan, and her parents and future sister-in-law promise that when they wait until May Day, they will inevitably let Ma Zhaodi come back, and she will not want to leave without taking 250,000 yuan, and Ma Zhaodi will naturally not be fooled by her parents again.
As for the threat that her parents had said no less than a hundred times to sue her, Ma Zhaodi was even more lazy to take care of it: "Now, I just want to work hard, save more money, and be nice to myself." ”
04. The original family is not your destiny, only you can change your destiny.
Louise Hay, author of The Rebuilding of the Heart, once said, "If you decide that your original family is your destiny, then you lose." Because only you can find the exit of all problems, and only you are the one who can rewrite your destiny. ”
Many girls born in patriarchal families take fate as the excuse, believing that this is god's punishment for doing the wrong thing in their previous life, giving up on themselves, allowing the original family to squeeze, and not knowing how to resist.
The original family is not a person's fate, although God has given you a bad hand, but it is not without the possibility of playing well. If you confess your fate and give up, there is really no cure.
We can't force our parents to love us, we can't force our parents to demand fairness, but we can at least ask ourselves to love ourselves and give ourselves justice.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good advice for Ma Zhaodi? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.