Introduction: Accompanying homework has become a "normal operation" for many parents after work, which also gives parents a headache. On the topic of whether you need to accompany your child to write homework, I don't think it matters, what matters is how to accompany it?
Text/37 degrees warm dad
When it comes to writing homework with children, I am afraid that many parents will have a stomach full of bitter water: "Just sit next to him, stare at him, just don't write, you say that people are not angry?" "A few new words can be written for 2 hours"... When it comes to writing homework, I am afraid that every parent has a "history of blood and tears".
Your mother said: I must accompany my child until the fifth grade in the primary school stage; my mother said: My child has not written homework with him since school, I do my own things, I also have my own things. What is right and what is wrong?
I think: the topic of writing homework with your child is not important, what is important is how to accompany!
Accompanying children to write homework, one is to improve the concentration and speed of writing homework; the other is to help children solve some problems that they cannot solve in time. For example, because of their limited literacy, children in lower grades cannot read questions and cannot write. From this point of view, in order to solve these problems, is it necessary for parents to always be by their side?
I don't think so! If the method is wrong, it is better not to accompany!
A few days ago, Qiang's mother complained to me: "When the child writes homework, he draws two words red, and he is stunned to write for two hours!" You say angry people are not angry people? I immediately asked, "When you see a child writing homework slowly, do you respond like this: Look at you writing homework so abrasive, half a day without moving a word!" Do I have to accompany you to write well? I also have my own business, I don't do anything to accompany you all the time? Mom Qiang heard my description and was stunned: "How do you know?" ”
Because I have met too many similar parents, the vast majority of parents react like this when they accompany their children to write homework. In view of such a companionship situation, it is better not to accompany, not only can not achieve the purpose of accompanying homework, but even will drag the child's self-control and autonomy development.
Why do I say that? The reason is simple: no one likes to talk about it, to be denied! If a person is always doing something that they can't always do well, who wants to continue? Parents are the bridge between the child and the world, it can be said that the parents' opinions represent the opinions of the outside world, so the parents' evaluation of the child is very important.
Accompanying your child to write homework, you can sit next to your child, you can also be busy with your own business, and then help when your child needs it. The most important thing is to follow several principles to accompany your child in writing homework:
First, the principle of positive focus. In short, it is to target the situation of children's homework, only look at the child's strengths and advantages, and ignore the shortcomings of poor performance. The advantages of this are: observe the child's daily changes and growth, give the child encouragement in time, help the child accumulate successful experience, and build confidence in writing homework.
Second, let go of control and make it clear that this is the child's own business, not his own. This sentence is very simple, I believe all parents understand, but I am afraid that only a small number of parents can do it. In the process of accompanying homework, be proactive in being aware of whether I have imposed my desire for control on my children. What is control? When the child doesn't do what we're asked to do, or when the child's behavior doesn't match the standards in our minds, we begin to get emotional.
Third, believe that children can handle their own affairs. This is the underlying logic of accompanying homework, if we believe that children have the instinct to seek advantage and avoid harm, and can do what they need to do, then control will disappear. Conversely, if we don't believe that the child can handle his own affairs, then the desire for control will also quietly run out.
Frankly, most parents who accompany their homework have cross-border behavior: I don't believe you can do your own thing, so I have to come to help, because I think this should not be like you, but should be my requirements and standards. Under such strong control, the child's autonomy and self-control will naturally become weaker and weaker.
Fourth, let the child bear the consequences of his actions. That is, if you don't eat, you will be hungry; if you don't write your homework, you won't turn in your homework tomorrow; if you go to bed late, you will have to bear the sleepiness caused by lack of sleep tomorrow. Only by learning to take responsibility for your own actions can you inspire motivation to do things.
There will certainly be control in the process of education, but smart parents will internalize their own control into their children's own behavior, rather than exerting control over their children through their own words and deeds. For example, let children experience the consequences of not being able to write homework and take responsibility for their own actions; let children experience the hardships of work, so that they understand that there is no knowledge reserve, and they can only rely on physical strength, which is a very difficult thing.
Conclusion: In the process of raising children, many things are not important to do or not to do, what is important is how to do it, why? Staying directional is far better than acting blindly.
@ 37 Degrees Warm Dad Psychological Institute Marriage, Family and Parent-Child Relationship in-the-job research, sharing psychological parenting knowledge every day. According to incomplete statistics: 99.99% of people who pay attention to warm fathers have happier marriages and more well-behaved children.
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