Lead
The old man loves his grandchildren for the next generation, and for the cute children, the old man has removed his strong armor, and in front of the child, he is an amiable old man.
However, her friend Xiaocui has been sullen lately, and it turned out that the last time she took her son back to her parents' house, her brother's whole family also came back for the festival.
Her son received a toy worth 600 yuan, but the gift of her brother's son was 1500 yuan of fine toys.
The cost of her brother's son's schooling, as well as the money to sign up for the interest class, were all paid for by her father, and her son only had red envelopes and gifts for the holidays, and nothing else.
She complained to me, "It's all boys too much, and my dad's attitude towards grandchildren and grandchildren is too different, right?" The grandson is generous, and the grandson is perfunctory, too angry! In the past, it was a preference for sons and daughters, but I did not expect that now that it is the next generation, the old man still has not changed his mind. ”
Although it is said that men and women are equal, in the hearts of some elderly people, grandchildren and grandchildren are still different in the end, and the way of treatment and the degree of attention will also be different, so that many young people are very unhappy in their hearts, and the favoritism of the elderly makes them complain about the elderly.
How big is the difference between grandchildren and grandchildren? The answers of these four old men were very true and too heartfelt
Talking about the grandson, Aunt Sun seemed very lonely, "I took the grandson for 3 years, and then the child took with the grandmother, and I didn't kiss me at all, I was really sad." ”
Grandma Ding's children are complete, and when it comes to grandchildren, she thinks very clearly, "It is the duty to take the grandson, the grandson is the love point, and the grandson is no longer as close as the grandson." ”
Uncle Fang talked about his grandchildren, he hurt his grandson the most, "The grandson is his own baby, and the grandson must have kissed the grandmother, which is different." ”
Aunt Wang usually hurts her grandson the most, but after her grandson went to college, she did not come to see her once, she was particularly disappointed, she could not help but lament, no matter how good the grandson is not his own family.
In the eyes of the elderly, what is the difference between bringing grandchildren and grandchildren?
1. Bringing grandchildren is voluntary
For the elderly, taking grandchildren will be more active than bringing grandchildren, grandchildren are the blood of their own sons, children with their sons' surnames, after the old man retires, it is also the children and grandchildren around the knees, accompanying themselves.
From the birth of the grandson, it is the mother-in-law who helps to take care of the baby. When the grandson is discharged from the hospital, he also returns to his son's home, where he is cared for by his grandparents.
For many young couples, after the birth of the child, they choose to live with the elderly and have the elderly take care of their grandchildren.
For the elderly, the son has offspring, and it is also willing to take the grandson, and there will not be the slightest reluctance. After all, the old man has worked hard all his life,
2. Bringing grandchildren is love
Generally speaking, if young couples are busy earning money, most of the grandparents with grandchildren are responsible.
Of course, it is not excluded that there are exceptions, the in-laws are weak and weak, or the daughter-in-law is not willing to let the in-laws take the children, at this time the woman will find a way to persuade the biological parents to help her with the children.
In this case, even if the old man agrees to come with the child, he will feel that it is a love point to bring a grandson, and it is also because he is distressed about his daughter that he will be willing to lend a helping hand.
However, for them, the grandson is only temporarily helped to bring, and in the future, when the family is free, the child will always be managed by the other party.
After all, in China, there is a custom that every New Year's Festival, the son-in-law and grandson have to return to their relatives for the New Year, and they can only see their daughters and grandchildren after the new year.
3. The grandson is his own family, and the grandson is a foreign family
The grandson was raised in front of the old man, the grandson has a good relationship with the old man, no matter how the old man disciplines, the daughter-in-law and son will not blame the old man excessively.
However, the grandson is a foreign family, if the old man is more severe with the grandson, or the measure of getting along is not good, it will be easy for the son-in-law and the elderly to complain, thinking that the old man is treated differently, loves the grandson and hates the grandson.
4. There is a difference between grandchildren and grandchildren
Unless the grandson grows up around the elderly, for the elderly, most of the people who watch the children grow up are grandchildren rather than grandchildren.
Grandchildren only have the opportunity to see their children during the New Year or festival.
Even if the old man loves the child again, because of the difference in the identity of the grandson and the grandson, the opportunity for the old man to see the grandson is relatively small.
For many years, he often accompanies the elderly, and the elderly personally watch the children grow up with their grandchildren.
In particular, the grandson who was brought up by himself, in the eyes of the old man, must have deeper feelings for the grandson than the grandson.
How do you balance the relationship between the elderly and your grandchildren? 4 truths that young people should understand
1. The elderly have no obligation to bring grandchildren or grandchildren
The guardian of the child is the young, not the old.
It is the affection of the elderly to be willing to bring children, because it is not the obligation of the elderly to bring grandchildren or grandchildren.
If the elderly do not want to bring grandchildren, or grandchildren, children can not force the elderly, but to respect the ideas of the elderly.
2. Whether or not to help with the child should not be an excuse for the filial piety of the child
Some people will threaten the elderly, if you don't help with the children, I won't give you a pension.
The old man has been working for his children for half a lifetime, if the old man wants to live his own life in his old age and does not want to work so hard with his children, the young man must also be considerate of the old man.
For many young couples, the feeding of children, education costs, as well as mortgages, car loans and other family expenses are increasing, and it is difficult to rely on the husband's salary alone.
The mother's mood of wanting to work is understandable, young people can ask the elderly for help, but they cannot force the elderly to bring children, and the elderly also have the right to choose their own lifestyle.
3. The feelings of the elderly for their grandchildren and grandchildren should go with the flow and not be too demanding
Although young people are eager for the elderly to love their children very much, in fact, human emotions are often not subject to the will of others.
We can take children to visit the elderly more and increase the generational feelings between the elderly and the children, but we cannot ask the elderly to be flat with their grandchildren and grandchildren.
If the elderly can not do it, we do not need to be too depressed, we just need to do our own things, let the children learn to filial piety to the elderly and elders, one day, the elderly can understand the children and grandchildren care about him.
4. With children, there should be a division of labor and cooperation
For young people, there is no need to be demanding that the elderly bring children. If young people are able, they can bring their own children.
In the case that young people need to earn money to support their families, you can consider which side of the elderly has time, is willing to help with the children, and does not overly pursue whether the elderly are fair to their grandchildren.
If the elderly are willing to take good care of the child, the child can live happily, there is no need to compare it with the treatment of the grandson, after all, someone should feel satisfied.