Have you regretted having a baby all these years?
Thief of Time Music: Kim Hyun-gi - Kim Hyun-gi Special
In the previously solicited marriage topics, I found that most marital rifts occur after the birth of a child. So we started a topic: Do you regret having a baby all these years?
Many people see this problem, and their first feeling is: "No one will regret it." ”
This kind of thinking is mostly unconscious, just like a mother who was on the hot search some time ago, because the star chaser ignored the family being ridiculed by her daughter, and the comments were full of scolding:
Many people are accustomed to the fact that "becoming a mother" means not being able to be themselves, and all their thoughts must be put into the family, otherwise they are not qualified:
"No matter what the real dilemmas mothers face, they are not expected or even allowed, and they feel or think that becoming a mother is an unfortunate transformation."
So in this issue, we will first let go of the absolute positive label that society has given to "mothers" and treat them as an independent individual to see what life you may face after you become a mother.
Image source: Network
"It's hard to take care of the kids, but I don't regret it,
Because I see the child's smile and feel that everything is worth it. ”
Fan @ a little penguin
During confinement, I regretted it all the time—
Why doesn't your baby sleep until dawn?
Why eat so many times a day?
Why is it so tiring to take care of children?
......
So much so that "postpartum depression" almost caught me.
However, as the baby got bigger, I finally felt the cuteness of the human cubs.
A while ago, I was recuperating at home with a waist injury, and she always remembered me.
Every day after kindergarten, she would pick up a few small flowers on the road and give them to me; the first thing she did when she got home was to ask me if I was better, and then she would put her arms around my neck and hug me, so that she could play with confidence.
Waking up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, a person said to himself in a confused way: "I went to the toilet myself, and my mother was injured and couldn't hold it." ”
I quietly sighed behind my back: "Oh my God, how can she be so well-behaved and cute." ”
Source: Fan @ A Little Penguin
Vermicelli @ Bran
Suddenly, my sister is 7 years old and my sister is 3 years old.
The days of having two children, none of the days are peaceful.
Every day, when I opened my eyes, the sound of the sisters' fighting was in my ears; after the two of them quarreled, they came to me to complain, and they were often exhausted.
Every time this happens, I ask myself: Why do you want to be a baby? Or two? If you hadn't had a baby, wouldn't life have been much easier...
But in the dead of night, looking at their sleeping faces, you will think that they are spirits rewarded by Heaven.
Once, the sisters quarreled again, and I was busy with work. My sister blamed me for not teaching my sister, slammed the door hard and went out, so I simply locked the door.
After a while, the sister could not open the door, and quietly stuffed a letter into the crack of the door.
The first sentence in the letter was to apologize to me, explain why I was angry, and finally beg me to open the door for her, "I am my mother's baby." ”
We grew up with each other, and in them, I also learned to love and tolerate.
Source: Fan @ Bran Ruiyi
Fan @ Mumu
After getting married, my husband and I often quarreled, and after having children, we quarreled even more.
In those days, I thought about divorce every day, but my relatives and friends around me always used the same set of words to persuade me: For the sake of children, bear with me.
At that time, I felt that the child was a burden, which seriously affected my decision to divorce.
Not long ago, the two of us quarreled again, and in a fit of anger, I ran out of the house.
When I calmed down, I came home and saw my daughter running toward me from afar and hugging me:
"Dad is disobedient, you don't love him, just love me, I won't argue with you, I'll always love you and accompany you."
It turned out that she was not a burden, but a strength to heal me.
Image source: Fan @ Mu mu
Fans @ proud to be cute
After the divorce, the second daughter was just three years old, and I carried it alone all these years.
In fact, I have asked myself countless times: Do you regret it?
Every time I get the answer is no regrets, I just regret that I married the wrong person.
When I was about to get a divorce, I took my children to my mother's place to discuss it, and I cried so much that I couldn't help myself.
The second daughter was originally eating snacks with my sister, and when she saw me crying, she panicked instantly, took a small step and ran over, took a piece of paper to wipe my tears: "Don't cry, Mom", and hugged me with her small body.
I cried even harder, and she cried out "wow", and the two of them hugged each other and cried.
Later, I took the kids to my new accommodation.
I took their hand and smiled and said, "Later, this will be our new home." ”
Source: Fans @ proud to be cute
Fans @ Chastity
I regretted it at first because it was pain I had never experienced before:
It took a day and a night to give birth to a child, and I didn't want to die;
Pain of cracked breast milk;
Born to a daughter, but the family prefers sons to daughters;
To coax her to sleep, he carried her all night in the hospital corridor;
A person with a child, seen outside the window at 1: 3: 00, 5 o'clock in the morning;
......
But after surviving those miserable days, I will feel that it is good to have children.
One day I was depressed, and after coaxing the child to sleep, I secretly cried with my back to her.
She seemed to perceive it, turned around and hugged me, and the sweet milk voice sounded in the next second: "Mom, I will always love you", and kissed my cheek gently.
You see, she loves me as much as I love her.
Source: Fan @ ZhenXi
Fans @ cold smoke cold, shallow twilight
I gave birth to a child because of an unexpected pregnancy, and I didn't want it but I didn't want it.
Before the birth of the child was full moon, he went to work, and he often broke down when he was alone with the child.
When the child was crying, I would always be angry with her, and even beat her ass, but then I would cry in pain.
Every time this happens, I regret it: I shouldn't have brought her into this world hastily, and let her suffer a lot with me.
But no matter how hard I killed her, she loved me as much as before:
Will feed me when eating;
She will give me her favorite snacks;
When she chokes on the water, she will learn from me and come over and pat me on the back;
As soon as I came back, she ran over to me with my shoes, hugged me in her ear and said, "Mom, I love you." ”
......
The child's world is really small, so small that there is only the mother in the eyes.
Source: Fan @ cold smoke cold, shallow twilight
"Gradually, I was trapped in a cage called 'Mother',
Lost yourself. ”
Fan @楊『』
I am 31 years old and a mom of three, and in order to better educate my children, I quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom.
There was no income; every day he was facing the sky, spinning endlessly like a machine; he was out of shape, and a lot of hair was falling out.
Tired, too tired – physically tired, physically and mentally depressed.
At one point, when I was having a breakdown, I wanted to lose my child and run away from home.
I often fantasize in my mind that I will paint beautiful makeup and return to the workplace with my bag on my shoulder.
But the next second, the deafening cries in my ears will bring me back to reality.
Ever since I had a baby, I was trapped in the cage of my "mother", and I was alone.
Source: Fan @ Yang
Fan @ Yangyang Ma
At this moment, I am looking at the old college English, learning for a year, and I still can't distinguish 26 letters.
The spouse in the room, purring and beating, paid no attention to the outside world, he only cared about whether it would rain tomorrow, and the shadow did not affect his fishing.
In contrast, tomorrow at 4:30, I will get up to work and suddenly feel very sad.
Probably because life has given me too much bitterness, I haven't tasted the sweetness of life for a long time.
I can't remember what my children brought to me, only that I felt like I was on the verge of collapse all the time.
Source: Fan @ Yangyang Ma
The Choice to Be a Mother mentions:
"People refuse to believe that there are people who really regret motherhood; or that people angrily and distort these regretful mothers are marked with selfishness, madness, or sickness. In order to avoid being harshly criticized and commented by the public, many mothers choose to keep these words silently in their hearts. ”
So, when I saw the message about the less rosy side of "motherhood," I appreciated that they had the courage to speak out about their true predicament.
Image source: Network
The identity of "mother" is too heavy, given too much meaning by society, maternal love, gentleness, selflessness, greatness..... So much so that "mother" is labeled as an absolutely positive one.
Anything good goes to extremes, and the worst result is that everyone ignores the real dilemma behind the "mother", so that more and more people who do not know the truth repeat the same mistakes.
But a very strange phenomenon in society is:
"Our society is very active in pushing every physically and mentally healthy woman toward motherhood, but also sits back and watches as these women fall into the loneliness and powerlessness that characterizes motherhood. The public, which was originally very positive, will not bear any responsibility for this. ”
So these stories are just to present as many aspects of a "mother" as possible, and happiness or pain is allowed to exist.
Most importantly, outside of the identity of "mother", don't forget that we are first and foremost independent people.
Image source: Network