Matsushita Konosuke once said: "Achievements in reaching the pinnacle of perfection stem from self-discipline." It can be seen that few people who can maintain self-discipline habits are mediocre. However, the child's self-discipline needs to be cultivated, and in the process, the guidance of parents is more critical.
How good are self-disciplined children?
Haruki Murakami said, "When self-discipline becomes an instinctive habit, you will enjoy its happiness." ”
I often hear a friend say that how self-disciplined you are, how free you are. I'm impressed with that. So, how good are self-disciplined children?
I have seen a little girl who became popular on the Internet because of her beautiful writing. The little girl writes stroke by stroke, just like the print, the handwriting is rigid and soft, the force is even, even if it is written in numbers, it is very neat and pleasing to the eye.
The little girl's mother explained: "She is actually an ordinary child, but she is more strict with herself, and she is usually so serious about writing homework." In addition to calligraphy classes, I also participated in many interest classes, and the classes from Monday to Sunday were almost full and well done. ”
You see, the proper children of other people's families, the little girl's super high requirements for herself, or from self-discipline. It has to be said that children's self-discipline is not innately formed, and is related to the influence of nurturing and the environment. A person who follows a set plan for a day or two is not a big deal, but if he can persist all the time, he can often achieve unexpected results.
In 2020, the youngest undergraduate admission student at Peking University, Qu Shiying, a 15-year-old child in Xinshao, Hunan, was known as a "genius girl". When talking about her growth, the mother said that her daughter's talent is not very good, and she went to school early. She and her husband work outside the home, and her grandmother takes her with her.
Qu Shiying once failed in Chinese and mathematics, and her academic performance could not keep up. But then she set herself a study time plan and stuck with it. I wake up at 5 o'clock every morning and study until about 11 o'clock in the evening. It is through a long period of hard study for more than ten hours a day that we have seen Qu Shiying of Peking University.
Self-disciplined children usually come from 3 types of families
Professor Li Meijin believes that before the age of 6, the parents' education of their children determines the starting point of his life. The following three kinds of families are the easiest to cultivate self-disciplined children.
1. Families who make rules for their children in a timely manner
Before the age of 6, there are more than 40 sensitive periods, and before the age of 6, it is a sensitive period of social rules and a key period for children to develop habits.
Children are still living in the family, some small problems are not obvious, but after entering the kindergarten life, many shortcomings are exposed. For example, not eating well, bumping into teachers, emotional loss of control, and so on.
Some children are at home, they are little overlords, and they don't listen to their parents at all. When I got to kindergarten, the teacher also had a headache and didn't know how to discipline.
Another way of saying "self-discipline" in psychology is "self-control." Children do not have good norms for their behavior habits in the early stages, and need parental help to control those bad habits and desires. This stage is a critical period for the formation of social norms, and it is also an important stage for children's growth.
2, a family that is willing to let go
Many parents pay close attention to their children's affairs, which often disturbs their concentration. For example, if a child is writing homework, the parents come over and ask if they want to drink some water, whether they want to eat an apple or something, which are the culprits that destroy the child's concentration. Professor Li Meijin believes that children who are more favored at home before the age of 6 have poor concentration. Because of the attention of adults, it is easier to disturb the child's concentration.
Your casual words and urging will affect your children. He's in a daze and you run over and ask, "What's wrong with you?" He was playing with blocks and you ran over and asked, "Need mommy's help?" ”
Frequently interrupting the child, everything is "packaged", which is not only not conducive to the cultivation of the child's concentration, but also not conducive to the improvement of his self-care ability.
Children do not prejudge their own things at all, and they follow what parents say. Parents do not let go, it is difficult for children to build their own inner sense of order, and it is even more difficult to learn self-discipline.
You can try to let go, let the child come on his own, and be a "lazy" parent. Dabao just went to kindergarten, every morning when he got up, he had to urge many times, and he was about to be late, and after I followed the busyness, he did not panic at all.
Later, I told him that getting up in the morning for kindergarten is your own business, and I don't care about you in the future, from getting up to school, you arrange it yourself, including eating, washing your face, brushing your teeth, changing clothes, etc. I will set an alarm clock reminder five minutes before you go out.
At first, Dabao was still slow and leisurely, and when the alarm clock rang, he was busy putting on his clothes and calling me for help, and I pretended not to hear. After a period of time, Dabao slowly managed his morning time and did his own things.
3. A family where parents can lead by example
When the child is still young, the words and deeds of his parents are the yardstick for his learning. What virtue is the parent, and the child raised is basically the same.
The mother of Yang Chenyu, a winner of the Guangxi college entrance examination, said in an interview that their family is an ordinary family, and educating children is only at the right time to help children develop habits. Of course, parents also need to be self-disciplined, not just holding the mobile phone brush, leaving the child there.
In the growth of children, more important than school education is family education, and the core of family education is parents. If parents do not understand self-discipline and cannot lead by example, how to awaken the self-discipline in the child's heart?
In the early hours of the morning, mom came to nag:
Jobs said, "Freedom comes from self-confidence, and self-confidence comes from self-discipline." "Raise a self-disciplined child, and his life will shine in the future." Parents first introspect, starting from their own changes, and then talk about how to make their children become more and more disciplined.
(The picture source of this article is the network, if there is infringement, please contact to delete)