Self-confidence, from self-esteem, a person first self-esteem, and then self-confidence. Self-esteem is a person's affirmation of his own self-worth, which is intrinsic, only about himself, and is a self-perception that the external environment cannot shake.
We hear the term "self-esteem" a lot, but it's hard to define specifically because there are no strict boundaries and standards for self-esteem, and all mood swings seem to be attributed to self-esteem.
In fact, self-esteem is a person's comprehensive awareness of himself, that is, his self-evaluation. "What kind of a person I am, what kind of a person I am in the eyes of others", these are all obtained through whether self-esteem is satisfied.
Five important aspects of the formation of a child's self-esteem system
2. Cognition and evaluation of their appearance
Adults will involuntarily say when they see beautiful and cute children: You look so pretty/so cute/so smart! Wait a minute. As a result, children who listen to this kind of discourse more become interested in their own appearance and begin to ask adults to evaluate other children of the same level. They may often ask, "Mom, do you think I'm pretty/smart/cute?" They also often ask themselves internally, "How do I look?" Is it likable? ”
Recognition and evaluation of one's own athletic abilities
Athleticism here includes more than just "Do I run fast?" "Jump high?" It also includes the question "Can I protect myself?" ”
As children grow up, they spend more and more time in the school group, and motor awareness and athletic ability have become one of the indispensable standards for measuring and assessing children's comprehensive ability. This will undoubtedly affect the level of self-esteem development of children with weak athletic abilities.
The degree of popularity among peers
If a child feels that he or she is not so popular among his peers or is ostracized by his classmates for some internal or external reason, the self-esteem level of such children will be considerably flooded and affected. They will suspect that they are not good enough to lose the willingness to do further improvement and learning.
Most of the children will become more and more clear as they age about whether they are popular in the group, whether my classmates at school like me, whether I have many friends, and so on.
Whether the behavior is in accordance with the rules
As the saying goes, there are no rules, no squares. Self-esteem requires respect for external rules, and one can only achieve self-respect if one abides by external rules. So, self-esteem requires self-discipline and moderation.
How well you are doing
Children will receive these evaluations in the words of their parents, in the competitive environment of the school, under the "comparison" of the teachers who cannot be avoided, in the interactions of their classmates, and so on. They'll ask themselves ," learn this, how am I doing?" ”
The level of self-esteem determines the child's self-discipline.
But the child's self-esteem level depends on the parents' usual empowerment.
With the progress of society and the improvement of living standards, parents take care of their children's lives in every detail, and most children are worry-free about food and clothing. But in fact, sometimes it is more important for parents to respect and recognize their children's self-esteem than to take care of their children's meticulous care in life.
When we interact with children, we should pay attention to whether the love given to children is conditional, and whether it often hits the child's self-esteem level. Do you often devalue your child's sense of worth?
Whether we like it or not, a large part of the anger, threats, cold violence, etc. that have been fired at the child has slipped into the child's subconscious, and these yelling or ignoring the child destroy the child's inner self-esteem and security.
What can be done to protect your child's self-esteem?
A child who is not respected not only does not have self-confidence, he does not know how to respect others in the future, because no one has shown him. So as parents, what can we do to protect our children's self-esteem?
Unconditional love
Parents' love for their children is unconditional, we must learn to correctly treat the child's academic performance or success or failure experience, and always let the child feel the "unconditional love" of the parents. Parents encourage him for any effort he makes, even allowing the child to make mistakes.
Help your child gain just the right amount of self-esteem
A psychologist once used balloons to make a figurative analogy of children's self-esteem: "A balloon without gas is worthless, but if it is too full, it will be easy to burst; only if it is inflated with no more and no less, it will be both ornamental and safe." ”
To put it simply, too weak self-esteem becomes inferiority, and too strong becomes vanity.
Children grow up in a family, their self-esteem system is affected by many factors such as family life, family environment and family education concepts, parents should know how to help children establish appropriate self-esteem.
Children who make mistakes should be criticized, but they must pay attention to time and occasion, and they should be right about things and not people.
Children should praise good performance, but not praise "smart" and "you are awesome", but praise the child's efforts and efforts.
Nourish your child's self-esteem through our positive feedback and help your child achieve just the right amount of self-esteem.
Encourage, encourage, encourage
A child who often receives affirmation and encouragement from his parents must have a stable level of high self-esteem; conversely, a child who is occupied by parental nagging and preaching and spends very little time with them will have a decline in self-esteem and will not see his own advantages, or will not believe that he has advantages.
Turn praise into encouragement, describe specific and then specific encouragement, encouragement, encouragement, encouragement! Effective encouragement is especially important for the improvement of a child's self-esteem system.
Key points - In the early days of the establishment of a child's self-esteem system, parents should minimize unnecessary evaluations or exaggerated praise for their children, which will make children overly dependent on the evaluation of others and lack of inner motivation.
Know how to save face for your child
When the child punishes the mistake outside, the parents often disregard the child's inner feelings regardless of the occasion, and the scene is a criticism or insult.
How can you be so stupid that you can't even hold a cup steadily.
Look at you, this little thing can't be done well, what else can you do in the future?
Children are often deeply hurt by these words and cannot lift their heads in front of others. When children are disgraced, they are nightmarish moments. The harsh language of parents and the strange eyes of others are all sharp weapons to destroy children's self-esteem.
Smart parents will maintain their children's face!
1, do not promote children's "ugly things".
2. Criticize children from outsiders.
3, do not randomly compare with other people's children.
4. Do not label children at will.
5. Do not snoop on your child's privacy.
Self-esteem is not only something that adults will have, but also children, and it is the responsibility of parents to protect children's self-esteem.
Respect children
"Respecting the child" is the best way to build a child's self-esteem and self-confidence.
Parents are a child's first teacher! Parents are the longest contact time for children, especially in the infant period of children, the main educators that children contact are parents, and this period is the period when children are most malleable, so in this period, parents must give their children a positive impact, especially importantly, parents must give their children full respect from the time they are young, so as to more effectively establish their children's self-esteem, let children get respect, learn to respect, and give respect.
At the same time, parents must lead by example, and they must remember to let their children realize that everyone is equal and has the right to be respected by others and to maintain their own dignity. Caring for everyone, treating everyone equally, giving respect, in order to get respect, this is every child
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