In fact, when a child loses his temper, it conveys an important growth signal.
First, how pitiful is the child who does not dare to lose his temper?
1. His anger will turn into hate. This kind of hatred will even make him forget his kindness and forget his affection.
2. It's easy not to be confident. He will "self-attack" internally. He will subconsciously feel that he is a "bad boy" and is not loved and liked.
3. Easy to be cowardly. When the child does not dare to lose his temper at home, he actually learns to withdraw, does not dare to express his emotions, does not dare to fight for his own interests, and even forms a flattering personality.
4. Beware of "power struggles." Parents give in, children win, and the next time the child learns how to fight for more rights for themselves. Parents use simple and rough ways to make children obey, it seems to win temporarily, but children are more and more rebellious, more and more love to do with their parents, often provoke parents to be angry. This is the inevitable consequence of the "power struggle", both want to win, and as a result, both sides are exhausted, and even some resentment is mixed between parents and children.
When a child loses his temper, how should parents cope?
In this case, he must have some demands in his heart that have not been met. The child's behavior is "wood" and the psychological state is "forest". Many times, we see only trees, not forests.
But we don't see the real mental state behind the child and how to properly channel his emotions. We scolded head-on, and that was the next step. Because of scolding, it may cause the child's rebellious psychology and make him more paranoid.
Reasoning is the best policy, because when a person's emotions are out of control, his brain automatically shuts down rational thinking. When the child is in the mood, he loses his temper, and no matter how much you talk about it, he can't listen to it. Instead, he will be more stubborn until he reaches his goal.
I believe that many parents have had such an experience, when the child cries, you reason with him, the effect is zero, except to consume our own patience, useless.
The best strategy is rarely used, so what is it?
"Winning cooperation" is a very good way to deal with it. It has 3 steps:
Understand your child's feelings
When the child is out of control, cursing, throwing things, we not only do not go forward to teach the lesson, but also say that I understand your feelings.
But understanding a person's feelings and resonating with them is indeed more effective than scolding.
Express feelings and pull back the child's rational thinking
When you have done the previous step, the child is often willing to listen to you because he feels that you are not standing against his enemy. At this time, we should not rush to be reasonable, but should guide him to think and pull back his rational thinking.
The best way to do this is to tell him how others feel and arouse his empathy.
Come up with a solution
After dealing with emotions, we can start to deal with children's affairs.
We can explore these issues with the child without any emotions, helping him think and change his or her own behavior patterns. When a child learns to control his emotions and thinks proactively, it will benefit him for a lifetime.
Note: If there is a copyright issue, please contact us to delete it.