(Health Times reporter Wang Zhenya Tian Ru)
The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has had a major impact on many individuals, families and businesses, and the resulting psychological trauma and uncertainty about future lives have also caused the whole society to have extreme emotions of stress, anxiety and even impulsiveness and irritability at different levels. How to improve psychological resilience at the social level, and how to complete psychological repair as soon as possible after trauma?
On April 4th, at the invitation of the cloud class of Tsinghua Wudaokou School of Finance, Professor Peng Kaiping, dean of the School of Social Sciences of Tsinghua University, made a speech entitled "Under the Crisis, How to Improve Psychological Resilience?" The online lecture tells the secret of the surging blessing under the epidemic.
Peng Kaiping
Learn three skills to deal with crises
When humans encounter a crisis, they will produce a natural stress response, releasing stress hormones through the hypothalamus, pituitary gland and adrenal glands, increasing muscle strength, accelerating blood flow and blood pressure, feeling more acute, and the body entering a state of nervous excitement. This is a special protection mechanism.
If this state of stress persists for too long, it will cause various damage to our sleep, digestion, and immune system, and can also lead to anxiety, depression, uncertainty, irritability, and emotional loss of control.
"Last year, a survey we conducted on about 300,000 primary and secondary school students on the mainland found that in the social closure caused by the new crown epidemic, the younger generation usually has no motivation to learn, no interest in life, no ability to socialize, and no sense of meaning in life, and this is indeed common." Professor Peng Kaiping introduced that it is particularly important to improve their psychological resilience and learn to face the anxiety and uneasiness caused by emergencies.
What is mental resilience?
Psychological resilience refers to the phenomenon that in the face of serious threats, the individual's adaptation and development are still good. Professor Peng Kaiping explained for example: "For example, to participate in a marathon, you rely on physical strength in the early stage, rely on brain power in the middle stage, and work hard in the later stage. Life is like a marathon, and in the end it depends on a force that keeps you going, and this power is psychological resilience. ”
Mental toughness can be divided into three levels of ability.
The first layer is resilience, that is, the ability to quickly return to a normal psychological state after encountering crises, setbacks, conflicts, and stress. Professor Peng Kaiping proposed that if a person does not even have resilience, then psychological resilience cannot be discussed. The first skill we need to learn is how to return to normal under pressure and not be crushed by setbacks and blows.
The second layer is self-control, also known as wear resistance. "There are some shocks that don't end in a short time, such as the new crown epidemic, we have been fighting it for more than two years, this is wear resistance, a tenacious spirit." Professor Peng Kaiping introduced that this is a little higher than the ability of resilience, in the face of pressure and setbacks, you need to be able to withstand, withstand, and carry.
The third layer is post-traumatic growth, some people in the face of adversity or impact not only did not get knocked down, but instead after traumatization, positive psychological changes and psychological function improvement. Nietzsche said that anything that doesn't kill me will make me stronger. This mental resilience is a nobler, more advanced, more remarkable manifestation.
Professor Peng Kaiping introduced that to improve psychological resilience, it is necessary to master the three skills of resilience, wear resistance and post-traumatic growth.
Peng Kaiping, dean of the School of Social Sciences and professor of psychology at Tsinghua University, attended an online conference during the quarantine, and the western assembly of shorts made netizens exclaim Professor Peng's cuteness. Courtesy of respondents
Get rid of negative emotions and return to normalcy to try the "EightFolds"
Mandela once said that the greatest glory in life is not never to fail, but to rise up after each failure. If you want to improve psychological resilience, you must first be able to recover from setbacks and blows to a normal state, that is, to have resilience.
Professor Peng Kaiping proposed that to improve resilience, you can try the "Eight Positive Methods".
The Eightfold Dharma is to breathe deeply, smell incense, touch the body, humor, talk, exercise, mindfulness, and writing.
A particularly important technique for returning to normalcy is to take a deep breath. Athletes often take a deep breath before a major competition because it helps relieve tension. In life, we all have such a feeling, get up early in the morning to open the window, the refreshing air floats over, let us feel refreshed; walking in the mountains, breathing cool and natural air, will also feel refreshed and relaxed.
This is because when human beings encounter setbacks, crises, and feel pressure, the amygdala in the human brain will be in a highly active state, the temperature will rise, and the congestion will be too much, resulting in a bad mood. Taking a deep breath and inhaling cold air can help reduce the congestion of the amygdala and make people feel better. When nervous, taking three deep breaths can also calm people's emotions.
In addition to taking a deep breath and feeling irritable, smelling the fragrance will immediately play a role in calming the mood. This is because many of our senses have to go to the heart first, go to the prefrontal lobe of the brain, and then go to the emotional response. But the sense of smell is very peculiar, there is an emotional response first, and then there is a cognitive evaluation.
"We Hunan people love to eat stinky tofu, but when we smell stinky tofu, we also have to frown, why?" It still smells bad. It shows that this emotional response is followed by cognitive response first, which is called smelling bad and eating it before it tastes good. It tastes fragrant because of the involvement of later cognition, so we have found that a particularly important direct way to regulate emotions is to smell the aroma. ”
Peng Kaiping introduced that lighting incense, taking a fragrant bath, washing clothes, etc., and even holding a child to smell the child's milk fragrance, can help relieve stress.
Talking is also one of the important methods, speaking can relieve people's psychological pressure, can make people get from the pain and discomfort of the mood to get up and recover. Professor Peng Kaiping reminded that talking is not simply telling, but requiring in-depth communication of about half an hour, saying out the troubles, and releasing half of the bad emotions.
Professor Peng Kaiping said, "If you can find a good friend in life who listens to you for 30 minutes, congratulations on having an amateur psychologist." ”
The COVID-19 pandemic is still not over, and the "Six Avenues" teach you to improve your wear resistance
Crises, setbacks and sometimes even ongoing, how long will the COVID-19 pandemic last for three years? This is the question of the whole society. To deal with crises such as the epidemic, the second skill is to improve wear resistance.
There was such an experiment, in front of the subjects, there was a plate of carrots and a box of chocolates, and one test group controlled that they could not choose to eat chocolate; and the other group did not make such a request. After that, two more groups were asked to do the same difficult thing, and the group that was asked not to eat chocolate was more likely to collapse in the face of setbacks.
Peng Kaiping introduced that this test tells us that wear resistance needs strong psychological resources to support, under repeated crisis setbacks, wear resistance and self-control ability will be consumed, but also can be strengthened and supplemented.
Six ways to supplement and strengthen an individual's wear and tear, namely physical exercise, mindfulness meditation, self-challenge, positive mindset, vision of goals, and effective rest.
Professor Peng Kaiping said that physical exercise is a particularly good way to practice. When we exercise, we shape not only a healthy body, but also willpower and abrasion resistance. Therefore, our children can not only read and take exams, but must actively participate in physical exercise. Positive psychologist Angela Duckworth found that young noncommissioned officers who had participated in the devil's training in the U.S. Military and could persevere were much more likely to become officers in the future. Just like training muscles, mental toughness needs to be constantly honed.
In addition to physical exercise can challenge yourself, there are many other ways, such as doing things that you are not used to doing and do not want to do, but also improve your mental resilience, such as writing with your left hand, standing on one leg, learning homework that you are unwilling to learn, and so on.
Another way to improve abrasion resistance is to have a positive mindset. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson found that when a person is positive, he can immediately increase a lot of psychological resources.
"For example, originally you were very annoyed, lying in bed is also very tired, suddenly heard the good news that you were admitted to Tsinghua University, you will immediately be excited, how did this exciting power come from? It's generated by positive emotions. Peng Kaiping said that we often find that in the face of crises and blows, many people who have lost the courage to fight, part of the reason is that there are not many positive things encountered, and the supplementary strength of emotions is insufficient, which requires them to be happy, let them act, be active, and often change this negative and sad defensive heart.
In addition, sleeping when you are in a bad mood and ensuring rest also helps to restore mental resilience.
Coping with crises and how to grow up after trauma
Fear management theory argues that although everyone has a fear of death, people's experience of their sense of meaning and value in life can protect people from the anxiety that comes with the innate fear of death. "When we recognize the meaning of life and the value of our own existence, facing adversity is not only to recover and endure, but also to be able to transcend and grow after trauma." Peng Kaiping said.
Eight ways to help people find meaning in life.
The first is a sense of accomplishment. "When you feel that you have achieved, you actually feel that what you are doing is meaningful, and this sense of meaning can improve our wear resistance." A lot of people like to communicate in a picky and demanding way, and I think it should give people a sense of accomplishment, so I advocate positive education and positive feedback. ”
For example, Peng Kaiping said that when a child is very happy after doing an assignment, parents must let the child appreciate his success, because at this time, the dopamine secreted by the brain makes him have an internal drive, and he will like to do this thing in the future. But many bosses, managers, teachers, and parents don't value success from their subordinates or their children. The child did a good job of homework in the song, triumphant, the mother immediately ran over and said, "Proud of what, hurry up and do the following homework", this kind of persecution will make the child lose the inner motivation. The internal drive is actually to appreciate your own small success step by step, and finally insist on doing it.
Another important approach is to accept failure. After many children fail, parents often enlighten and say, "Oh this is not the same thing" "This is a small thing", this enlightenment is actually not to let the child accept failure, should let the child know that the failure, and then we rise again, this is a particularly important training method of the sense of meaning, that is, to be able to accept failure, accept failure, accept setbacks, accept pressure.
The meaning of life is not simply success, fame and fortune. "Our research has found that many Chinese parents may not have so-called status or wealth in their lifetime, but they feel that they have a meaningful life. It comes from one's own home, one's own relatives. Four generations of old ladies in the countryside are in the same house, she is jubilant, why? Because family affection can also produce a sense of meaning. Peng Kaiping said that taking care of his family and making it stable and warm is also a particularly important way to improve psychological resilience.
In addition, there are many other methods. For example, acceptance is to accept tolerance, tolerate all kinds of setbacks and blows, endure, persevere; sublimation, let us re-understand a thing, find experience and lessons after failure; establish beautiful interpersonal relationships, can effectively prevent emotional collapse; faith, justice, happiness can help people find the meaning of life.
And how can a person maintain a positive attitude without collapsing, Professor Peng introduced, one of the most important ways is to have a sense of self-efficacy.
Five methods can help people gain self-efficacy, that is, to make a successful appearance, to be accepted by the successful, to social support, to simulate actual combat, and to accumulate success.
When you walk, you are the first to speak in class, the most positive when you take a stand, and you do things in an orderly manner... To make the appearance of success, positive psychological cues tend to be really successful. Working with the strong and walking with the wise can also improve self-efficacy.
"There are more people who can appreciate you, support you, and help yourself a lot." Peng Kaiping told the Health Times reporter that when everyone sees others every day, saying more good things can also strengthen the sense of social support.
Human beings are moving from the material age to the age of feeling, and happiness is not only a simple satisfaction, but also a surging flow of happiness. Mastering the above methods of improving psychological resilience also grasps the secret of surging happiness and blossoming heart.
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Q: How to deal with the anxiety and depression caused by isolation during the epidemic lockdown, will the long-term lockdown or isolation trigger or exacerbate claustrophobia, and how to better prevent and respond?
Peng Kaiping: I myself have been quarantined for 42 days. Claustrophobic fear, I personally feel I don't. Although physically limited, the psychological expanse is created by ourselves, so we can do something during the closure period.
The first thing is to read. When reading, crossing the boundaries of time and space, it is a dialogue with the wise, walking with the sages, reading and reading can help us crack this claustrophobia, because the psychological space is infinite.
Second, exercise. Although there is very little room for movement in the claustrophobic space, when I isolate, the distance from the door to the window that can move, 10 steps to the end, I walk back and forth to run back and forth. When you go, you can think about some problems, you can also go and listen to some music, which I think helps myself a lot. In this special situation, it is important to keep yourself motivated and active, forcing yourself to act, and taking a shower to relax after 10,000 steps, especially happy. So be sure to go to exercise. Of course, you can also do yoga, meditation, meditation.
Third, writing. During the epidemic, I publish a book a year, which is to rely on the accumulation of little by little. Writing is also a particularly important way to adjust a positive mindset. If you don't know what to write, it is recommended that you can write about your impressions, you can write memories, or experiences. If I can't write and don't want to write, I can call and chat in a closed situation, and it is also an important way to establish social connections, so I insist on chatting with my family and chatting with friends and colleagues.
All in all, it is not the physical space that makes people feel lonely, what makes people lonely is actually the psychological space, which can be changed through adjustment.
If these are not easy to do, especially for children at home, when isolated at home, families must contact, must hug, must shake hands, must collide. Increasing physical contact can give us a sense of spiritual connection.
In addition, it is necessary to block all kinds of negative information, and pay more attention to some meaningful things around them, which is important for mental health.
Q: When children are suspended from school during the epidemic, parent-child conflicts occur frequently, especially when children do homework, they are very devastated, how can parents get along better with their children in a closed environment during the epidemic?
Peng Kaiping: I think many parents will have such an experience. I think the 3Cs can alleviate this problem.
The first C is Contact, which is contact. In fact, in many cases, because they are too busy, they send their children to school ceremonially and go to their own places. If you are at home, you need more physical contact, hugging the child, shaking hands for comfort, and increasing the feelings between each other, so the first exercise, the mother of the child can do is to take the initiative to hug her child, five minutes to ten minutes
The second C is Communicate, which is communication. In the current parent-child communication, there are many harmful communication or ineffective communication situations, criticism, harshness, cold war are harmful violent communication, and in the face of children's negative emotions, if you simply say "don't cry" "it's okay", this kind of communication that hopes that the child will get better quickly but does not understand the child's psychological changes is completely ineffective.
When communicating with children, parents should have empathy, think about why such emotions occur from the child's point of view, accept the child's emotions, and sometimes, crying with the child is more effective than telling the child not to cry.
The third C is Culture, which is the shaping of cultural concepts. To let children slowly understand the meaning of living, this meaning is that life is to have blows, setbacks, and epidemics, do not deliberately beautify these negative information, accept the existence of these negative phenomena in our lives, is conducive to helping children to understand the meaning of life and the value of self-existence, through the shaping of cultural value concepts, let children admit, face, accept these difficulties in life, and after encountering setbacks, they can surpass themselves and continue to grow.