Recently, the topic #How delicate is Daddy's mind#, rushed to Weibo hot search:
They look rough and leafy, but their love for their children is meticulous.
Even if they are not good at expression, an expression and an action will tell the child that there is a father who is not afraid!
The father is a symbol of strength and a superhero in the eyes of the child.
Recently, there is a "superhero" father in Shenyang, who has attracted attention for his son to create the sun, earth, moon and three-ball instrument.
It turned out that recently in the winter, when the mother went to the kindergarten to pick up the child, the child saw that it was dark after school, so he asked: "Why is it dark early in winter?" ”
The mother kept explaining why to him, but the child never understood.
When Mom told Dad about it, Dad said, "It's easy to do." ”
So he purchased some materials online, spent 15 days himself, and built a "sun, earth, moon, and three-ball instrument" for the child to successfully solve the puzzle for the child.
This father is a science and engineering man who has worked as a drawing artist and is proficient in mechanical, electrical, and programming editing.
He suffered an accidental injury to his throat at work, which resulted in difficult pronunciation, and is currently retired home.
"The point where the sun shines directly, always moving up and down around the equator", the father showed his son through the trisphere.
Dad's approach is indeed more powerful than the words, and it also makes his son full of strong interest in astronomy.
In this regard, netizens commented: "Someone else's father." ”
Father's love is an indispensable part of a child's growth process. After the age of six, children strongly need the companionship and guidance of their father's love.
For children, the love of a father is like a rising star in the vast night sky. No matter how big the world is, with the guidance and illumination of the father, the children are not afraid of losing their way.
However, in our real life, there are too many fathers who are "absent" or even "missing" in their children's education.
In recent years, the word "widowed parenting" has attracted much attention, and it has pierced the hearts of many mothers.
Daddy's company is far more important than you think.
In this regard, li Meijin, a famous parenting expert, once said: Children who have lacked the company of their fathers for a long time, in addition to being difficult to discipline, have these 3 defects when they grow up.
1
Children are becoming more and more difficult to discipline
In Keigo Higashino's classic White Night, the protagonist Yukiho's mother is killed, but the murderer is Yukiho himself.
She lost her father at an early age and came from a poor family, hoping to get rid of the injustice of fate by killing her mother, in an attempt to find a better family for herself.
Although this is a fictional story, this kind of evil that is imprisoned between words and lines also happens in real life.
There were news reports that a 12-year-old boy in Hunan Province killed his mother with a knife.
It turned out that he was suspected of smoking at school. When his mother learned of this, she beat him with a belt, and because he was dissatisfied with his mother's discipline, he killed her with a knife.
Why is it so difficult for a 12-year-old to discipline? The reasons behind this are thought-provoking.
The boy was raised by his grandparents and was a left-behind child.
After this incident, many people put the beak on the mother's discipline too roughly. As everyone knows, the father of this child has been working outside the home and has never had time to pay attention to the child.
Psychologist Fromm said: "Fathers are the ones who educate their children and point them out to the world. ”
A boy who grows up in the absence of his father for a long time will lose his way on the road to the world, which will eventually lead him to extremes.
According to the survey data of the American Paternal Organization:
Although only 20 per cent of minor children live in single-parent households, 70 per cent of juvenile offenders are from single-parent families.
Many problem children in the United States come from fatherless families. The absence of the father's childhood is the child's eternal shortcoming, so that their lives are easy to get lost.
2
Children are insecure
A teacher once said an example:
A little boy in the class was particularly introverted, did not like to talk, was always bullied, and did not dare to fight back. He's very sensible and it's heart-wrenching.
After understanding, the teacher found that the child was brought up by the mother, and the father was not at home for many years.
The absence of the father causes the child to be insecure, cowering and shrinking in everything he does, even if he is bullied, he just wants to calm down.
In the long run, such children are prone to form a cowardly, withdrawn and inferior personality.
Psychologist Gerdy said: "The appearance of the father is a unique existence, which has a special power to cultivate children. ”
Father symbolizes "extroverted power". The father's good companionship can make the child feel safe and give him the courage to integrate into society.
3
Poor social skills in children
Studies have shown that:
When they are young, children whose mothers accompany them a lot and their fathers spend less time with them like to be self-centered and unwilling to listen to others, and they enjoy the feeling of being held in the palm of their hands.
And the role of the father is:
It can guide children out of the "comfort zone", enrich children's experience, cultivate children's optimistic and cheerful personality, and help children's future social interaction.
And these education, the mother can not give, must be given by the father.
This summer, there was a news like this:
A 14-year-old teenager rode the 2,200-kilometer Kawazo Line of National Highway 318 with his father for 24 days during the summer vacation.
When the father and son duo had the most in a day, they had climbed four 4,000-meter mountains, and the daily journey was equivalent to a full marathon.
The hardships and bumps along the way were all transformed into the strength to move forward in the company of his father.
On the way, the father and son not only had to endure the physical pain caused by altitude sickness, but also had to face the bad weather that changed endlessly throughout the day.
The son often has nosebleeds because of altitude sickness, and the food is very simple, most of the time they rely on instant noodles as a supplement for the body.
One of the most important reasons why my son was able to persevere in a difficult environment was: "Dad is with me, Dad can do it, and I can do it." ”
The father's attentive companionship can bring infinite strength to the child, so that the child is sunny, confident and brave.
Fathers are not absent from their growing children, and they are more likely to become good people when they grow up.
4
Affect the child's concept of marriage and love
In the second episode of the documentary "Fire Thieves: An Investigation into China's Education Reform", "Caring for Childhood", there is a child.
His mom was very strong, weakening his father's role in the family.
His childhood was due to his father's "psychological absence" and there was no example of a same-sex positive direction, which made him look less like a "masculine" of boys of the same age.
But he also showed an excessive love for "thermal weapons".
Because of his father's "absence", he will look for external strength to fill the inner emptiness and find identification with his gender.
Some studies have shown that:
Boys who had contact with their fathers for less than 6 hours a week were more manly than boys who had been in contact with their fathers for less than 2 hours a day.
They are more open-minded, more enterprising, and more willing to take risks.
And the father, as the most important "opposite sex" in the girl's life, the "absence" of the father in the growth will affect their concept of marriage and love.
The movie "The Life of the Abandoned Pine Nut" tells the story of the protagonist Matsuko being abandoned by seven men.
Everyone in Matsuko's heart thinks that he can stay with her for a long time and stay with her husband until the old one. But in the end, all seven men abandoned her in different ways.
The reason is that Matsuko's heart is too eager to be loved. "Lack of love" is like a magic spell that makes her easily fall into feelings, and she has to endure abandonment again and again.
This lack of inner love actually comes from the first man in Matsuko's life, that is, her father.
When she was a child, because her father would smile when she saw Matsuko playing a grimace, she always played a grimace to get her father's attention, but her efforts were not as good as her frail sister's cough.
It is the absence of her father that makes Matsuko long for her father's love all her life.
The lack of paternal companionship and education can lead to a series of problems in the growth of children. Children who grow up with their fathers are happy, and they are more excellent and confident when they grow up.
As a father who is the pillar of the family, how can he not be absent in the growth of his children?
No matter how busy you are, you have to find time to spend with your children
A lot of dads are really busy, busy making money, busy running for their lives.
But no matter how busy people are, they will also have free time.
In family life, fathers can set up family fun days according to their own time, accompany their children to play games, and carry out outdoor sports.
In the company of the father, not only can establish a close father-son relationship, but also stimulate the enthusiasm of the child, which is conducive to the healthy growth of the child's body and mind.
Do not lose faith in children
The father is like a mountain in the eyes of the child, and the father's words should also be full of words. Therefore, the father should pay attention to the agreement with the child, which is the minimum respect for the child.
Fathers must not lose faith in their children, so that they can enter the children's hearts and communicate with them. In front of the child, we are a person who has faith in what we say, which is also conducive to cultivating the child's honest and trustworthy character.
Valuing your child's "important things"
Children's birthdays, family dinners, school sports meetings, parent-teacher meetings, fathers must try not to be absent.
In the process of growing up, even if the father is silently an audience, the child's heart will be paid attention to and watched.
The participation of fathers will make children feel happy inside, and they will be more secure.
The child grows up only once, and the company of the father is the most precious gift of the child's life.
May all of you fathers accompany, care for, and lead their children wholeheartedly until they grow up.
May the children harvest a lifetime of confidence and happiness in the unconditional love of their fathers!
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