01
Recently, the TV series "Our Marriage" is being broadcast, and there are many plots in it, which allow the editor to see the impact of different parenting concepts on children.
In the latest plot, the children of the three protagonists' parents gather in the underground parking garage to have fun, and the children appear in the security room with the three pairs of parents as soon as the camera turns. It turned out that some car owners reported that their car was scratched, and after checking the monitoring, they found that the three children had once picked up stones and were still comparing them in the car, suspecting that they had scratched their own car.
But the children did not think so of the owner's allegations, saying that the car had accumulated a lot of ash for a long time, and they were drawing on the car, but not with stones, but with fingers.
But the words of children of several years old are obviously not listened to, after all, children lie and do wrong things and do not admit that it is something that several parents have always recognized, so several people finally chose to lose money.
But the truth of the story is more than that, and in the process of exploring the truth, the three families also show different behaviors.
The first pair of parents are the richest, usually quite doting on the child, after knowing this matter, did not pay attention to it, felt that the child did not understand the stroke on the line, quickly took out the money to apologize, and said that in the future for their own safety do not go to the parking lot to play, do not care at all whether the child is wronged.
The second pair of parents believe that the child did not row a car, but the father was busy with his career and did not investigate the matter, and the money was also lost, thinking that he was unlucky. Only the mother has been committed to finding evidence, checking the surveillance, going to the underground parking lot, in order to restore the truth of the facts, to give the child a clean slate.
The third parent has a disagreement about this, the mother insists that the child learns to lie at a young age, the surveillance video is in front of him, and there is nothing to refute, regardless of the child's crying, he has always emphasized how hard he is, and suddenly lost tens of thousands;
The father is different, and the mother in the second family, he pays more attention to the child's inner world, chooses to listen carefully to the child's voice, observe the details, and go to the monitoring day and night to find the facts. In the end, he also proved that it was not the children who rowed the car, but the owner's son who drove out by himself and caused the scratch. After finding the truth, he chose to hope that the property and the owner of the car could tell the truth to the child again and give the child a clean slate.
I have to say that these three children are still very lucky. Several of the parents were willing to believe them and were actively looking for evidence, as well as police officers who carefully examined the surveillance, and together they gave their children an unrighteous childhood. It is hard to imagine whether it would have an indelible impact on them if this matter really did not come to an end.
02
Parental distrust is the greatest harm to children.
There has been such a tragedy before: one day in 2014, Xiaozhen, a 14-year-old girl in Wenzhou, jumped down from the fifth floor and ended her own flower-like life, simply because of her parents' distrust!
It turned out that Xiao Zhen's father opened a commissary, but there were often cases of losing change, and her father thought that Xiao Zhen had secretly taken the change.
Until one time, the father once again insulted Xiaozhen for losing change, and did not let his daughter go to school.
Xiao Zhen argued a few words, and the father actually implemented "stick education" for his daughter. Under the strict persecution of her father, Xiaozhen had to "admit" that the change in the small shop was taken by herself.
Unexpectedly, Xiao Zhen wrote a suicide note the next day when her parents left home and jumped off the fifth-floor balcony. The suicide note reads: I really did not steal money, why did you have to wrongfully accuse me and force me to admit it?
Xiao Zhen did not hesitate to use her life to prove her innocence, and she did not know how much Xiao Zhen's father would regret it!
There is also a netizen on Zhihu who once shared his story: when he was a child, his heart was always uncomfortable, and after talking to his mother, his mother thought that he often said this because he wanted to skip school, so he did not pay attention to this matter. Until he developed myocarditis and went to the hospital for examination, the doctor said that he missed the best treatment period and left the sequelae forever.
Trust is mutual, parents do not trust children, children are difficult to trust parents. If neither parent can trust, who else can the child trust?
03
Actor Ma Yili once mentioned her family in the "Reader" program.
She was born in a very ordinary family, her parents are young people, she has not graduated from junior high school, and she has no ability to tutor her academically, but her parents are very trusting of her.
In the first year of high school, the homeroom teacher notifies the parents to come and collect the child's report card. Ma Yili's achievements are very good, only the ideological character is poor.
Dad was surprised and asked the teacher why, and the teacher said, "Your daughter has an early love affair with multiple boys!" ”
Dad was very calm at the time and said to the teacher, "Then can you write down the boy's name on the paper?" ”
Then the teacher wrote a name, and then Dad asked the teacher, "What else, isn't there more?" ”
The teacher was very angry, and the father said, "Teacher, I don't tell you, my daughter knows her best, I still go to the principal." ”
Dad and teacher broke up unhappily, and Ma Yili cried at that time. The first is to feel that I have been wronged, and the second is to be grateful to my father for trusting me so much at that time, and at the same time remind myself that I should be more conscious and can make my parents more trusting.
Dad's trust gave Ma Yili the courage to keep moving forward and the determination to do better.
"Confidant sister" Lu Qin said, people who grew up in trust are full of confidence.
Yes, trusted children will face the ups and downs of life with a positive and optimistic attitude, and will not shrink back because of a little failure. Children who are trusted have the courage to go forward and the courage to explore the unknown to open up their own beautiful future.
Only love and trust are the confidence to give our children the confidence to face life, society and even the world!
Please indicate the source of "Capital Education (ID: bjedunews)"
Some of the materials in this article are synthesized from China News Network, Learning Commune, Central Committee of the Communist Youth League, Large Reference Weibo, Morning News, etc.
Edit: Daifuku
Proofreading: Pleasing to others
Review: Fisherman's Student