3-year-old Rarity is particularly fond of cars and is a super car fan, with a variety of large and small toy cars at home.
But recently when adults took him to play downstairs in the community, they found that he always liked to play with other people's cars, and even held other people's toy cars and did not let go, unwilling to return them to others, and cried when they took it away, which made adults very embarrassed.
Many parents will encounter a similar situation, children like other people's toys, hold it and refuse to let go, if they take it away, they will cry and make a fuss, and adults do not know what to do.
In fact, this is a very normal performance, indicating that the child has an autonomous consciousness and can clearly express his preferences.
But relying on other people's toys is not enough, as a parent, what should you do?
Let the child swap toys to play
The curiosity of two- and three-year-old children begins to become particularly strong, and their toys are played every day, and even the best toys will be tired.
When you see that other children have different toys, and they are the kind of toys they like very much, the child may not be willing to let go.
Let the children exchange toys to play with each other, meet each other's needs and curiosities, and when the children's needs are met, they will not want to rely on it.
The benefits of this method are:
1. Let the child learn to share, just like the advertising slogan said, the more you share, the happier you are.
2. Let the child learn to use the right way to achieve their own goals, only by giving it first, can they better get what they want.
3. Let the child take the initiative to interact with other small partners, and exercise the child's language and communication skills.
Cultivate your child's awareness of rules
Professor Li Meijin, a famous psychologist, once said: Before the age of 6, you must make good rules for your children, and after the age of 6, it is too late.
According to the characteristics of infant growth and development, children do not have a sense of rules before the age of 2, and after the age of 2 they enter a sensitive period of establishing a sense of rules, so for children at this stage, when they encounter the situation of taking other people's toys and not letting go, parents can do this:
There are borrowed and repaid, and it is not difficult to borrow again
To tell the child that the toy is someone else's, can not be taken for their own, borrowed other people's toys to play, must be returned in time, otherwise the next time others are not willing to exchange with him.
Parents can give an example, if the child's favorite toy is taken away, he will certainly not be willing, then other children are the same.
Usually, it is necessary to train children's awareness of rules
The sense of rules is not established immediately, and it needs to be strengthened many times. Therefore, to cultivate children's awareness of rules, it is necessary to train them normally.
For example, watching TV stipulates how long it takes, it must be turned off as soon as the time arrives, and if it is violated, it will be punished with a certain amount (not corporal punishment), which is a positive punishment that is conducive to the child's understanding of the rules.
For example, many children like to read picture books, if the child violates the rules, you can punish him for not showing him picture books today or reduce the time to read picture books.
Parents lead by example.
Educator Makarenko said: "Do not think that only when you command him, you are teaching children, how you laugh, how you read newspapers, how you treat friends are education." ”
Children are born with a strong ability to imitate, if you want to cultivate your child's sense of rules, then as a parent, you usually have to set an example of obeying the rules for your children, and do not think that the child is still young and does not understand things, and make excuses for violating the rules.
Empathize with your child and don't overbearing stops or get angry and accuse
I see that many parents do not consider their children's feelings when dealing with conflicts between their children.
When children especially like other people's toys and are not willing to return them to others to cry, parents may bully and prevent or criticize and accuse children in front of others in order to protect their own face.
Handled in this way, his face seems to have, but it hurts the child.
Therefore, in this case, parents should be patient, empathize with their children, acknowledge their children's liking for other people's toys, and at the same time gently and firmly tell their children that they have their masters and abide by the rules.
If the child is still crying, you can discuss with the child, since you like it so much, you can make an appointment to play together tomorrow.
You can even respect the child's own decision, if both children are willing to exchange toys, first take home to play, tomorrow and then exchange each other back, the other parents are willing to do this, you can let the child take home, but be sure to tell the child to keep the promise, the next day will return.
Children have their own way of getting along and their own way of solving problems, and adults should not limit them completely by their own standards.
Professor Li Meijin also said: "When a child does something wrong, parents should not shout to correct it, otherwise he will strengthen the impression of this matter." ”
Therefore, when children hold other people's toys and do not let go, and cry when they take them away, parents should maintain a calm attitude and patiently guide. The way adults deal with problems is the way children will deal with problems in the future.