In the past, due to people's limited economic situation or insufficient awareness of gender awareness, it was quite normal for people to sleep together. However, with the change of the times, people gradually realized that when the child grows up, parents should establish a "boundary" between the child, and the first step is to sleep in separate rooms.
The pictures in this article are all derived from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
When is the best time to sleep in separate beds?
As mentioned in "Children's Psychology Lessons", the sooner the child sleeps in the room with his parents, the better in terms of independence. As for how old it is to sleep in a separate room with your child, experts make the following suggestions:
Under 1 year old: No room for separate beds
The Chinese Infant Sleep Guide and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend that infants and young children under 1 year old sleep in separate beds from their parents.
First, the baby's self-care ability within 1 year old is limited, coupled with the fact that the sense of security is easy to lack, sleeping at night without the company of parents, and it is easy to have "separation anxiety".
The use of "separate beds and no rooms" method helps parents to better take care of their babies, avoid accidents, and can also cultivate children's sense of security, which has a positive effect on establishing a good maternal and infant safety attachment relationship.
Second, sleeping in separate beds, to some extent, can avoid the newborn's suffocation, or other sleep risks.
3 to 5 years old: slowly achieve separate room sleep
Psychologists explain that children's awareness of gender begins at a very young age.
They can distinguish between male and female voices from the time they are 4 months old;
Around the age of 1, it is possible to determine the distinction between male and female photos; by the age of 3, almost all children can accurately say whether they are "male" or "female".
When a child calls himself "boy" or "girl" for the first time, he knows the gender label.
However, until the age of 5, children have not developed gender constancy, and their perception of gender has not yet been fully determined.
Therefore, experts believe that children 3 to 5 years old is a critical period for them to establish gender role awareness, parents need to start to establish a sense of "male and female difference" for their children, so the plan for heterosexual parents to sleep in separate rooms with their children needs to be slowly implemented.
Another point is that during this period, children have gone to kindergarten, they need their own personal space, they need to learn to be independent, and sleeping in separate rooms with their parents is an important step towards "independence". As a parent, in order for your child to develop better in the future, you need to slowly let go and let your child sleep alone.
Sleeping too late in the room with your child is a lot of hidden dangers
I have seen relevant reports on the Internet before, some children have been teenagers, but still sleep with their parents, how can not be persuaded, behind which there are often hidden dangers:
1. Leave a "childhood shadow" for children
A blogger once posted a topic about "parents and children sleeping in separate rooms", and there was an impressive message at the bottom.
"I still remember when I was in the sixth grade of elementary school, I fell asleep in my parents' room, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I accidentally saw a scene, which I can't forget in my life, and it really left me with a lingering childhood shadow, on what is the experience of having a big hearted parent." 」
In the adult world, it is inevitable that there will be some intimate actions, many parents may think that their children are still young, so there is a fluke mentality, in fact, sometimes, parents may underestimate the understanding ability of these children today.
If you sleep too late in separate rooms, you may be prone to these embarrassing things, and this "childhood shadow" may follow the child for a lifetime.
2. Affect children's gender cognition
As explained above, 3 to 5 years old is a critical period for children's gender cognition, at this stage, children are curious about the gender of men and women, and have initial cognitive ability.
If after the age of 5, parents of the opposite sex still sleep with their children, or do not pay attention to avoiding privacy issues such as changing clothes, going to the toilet, bathing, etc., it may often hinder the development of children's gender cognition.
3. Affect the relationship between husband and wife
Maintaining the harmony of a family is not an easy task, especially when women give birth soon after, couples tend to escalate their conflicts because of children.
In addition to parenting differences, it is more that the mother puts too much care on the child, resulting in the partner being snubbed, and the child is still able to understand when the child is young. But the child has grown up slowly and has enough self-care ability, if the mother still spends too much on the child.
Staying together during the day, not to mention, but also serving closely at night, the quality of couple's life will also be affected, and in the long run, the relationship between husband and wife may be affected.
How to sleep in a separate room with your child?
1. Step by step and seize the golden period
Children have a natural sense of dependence on their parents, so it may be relatively difficult to directly let him sleep independently, so we must pay attention to step by step and do not immediately force them to sleep.
You can try to start from sleeping in separate beds, and then slowly transition to a separate room, and when you just sleep in a separate room, go to the child's room to tell him stories and coax him to sleep, which can give him a certain sense of security.
In addition, parents should also pay attention to grasp the signal that children sleep independently, generally when they are 3 years old, children have a certain sense of independence and will desire their own small space, at this time parents can tentatively let him sleep alone.
2. Teach children the basic self-care ability
Many parents are reluctant to share rooms with their children, that is, they are worried that he is not safe to sleep alone, so before they officially go to bed, they may wish to teach them basic self-care skills, such as learning to dress themselves, folding quilts and so on.
And learn to reward and praise children, so as to mobilize their enthusiasm.