10 major cognitive distortion丨Why are you unhappy? Always feeling sad?

Some people feel that mourning does not require a reason

The salary is too low

Mom and Dad are sick

Girlfriend broke up

Come on, can't afford to add it

There are too many unpleasant things

Mainly because

The root cause of your negative emotions lies in your thoughts,

Your emotions stem from your thoughts

Today we will mainly talk about it

Top 10 cognitive distortions affect your mood

Including how do we get rid of the effects of negative emotions?

A little long, be sure to see at the end, there is no point of attention to give nine points of attention

Some time ago, my friend fell out of love, sullen and unhappy every day, not interested in anything,

He said a few words as he confided in me,

I'm just a total idiot, he lied to me for so long, I didn't find out,

I know now, since we were together three years ago, everything he said was a lie,

I don't believe in love anymore, and I'm afraid I'm going to end up alone in this life

In this one example, 6 out of 10 cognitive distortions are included

The six negative thoughts have no factual basis, they are all just their own imagination,

His emotions are ostensibly caused by the loss of love, but in fact they are caused by his own distorted cognition and irrational thoughts

Let's look at these few words,

"I'm a total fool, he lied to me for so long, I didn't find out."

The first, random labeling, people who fall into this kind of thinking will make a completely negative wrong evaluation of themselves, in fact, the actual situation is not so bad, so no matter whether three seven twenty-one gives themselves a big hat to put on, this is purely self-seeking

The second, either-or, is that the view is too extreme, too absolute, not black and white, in fact, we often ignore that there is a gray in the middle

The third, amplification, did not recognize the true purpose of the object of love is the negligence of a thing, deny themselves, saying that they are complete fools, which is actually a bit too much, exaggerated life is not satisfactory, disproportionate magnification, and thousands of tragic lives, but do not know that some of their shining points are being envied by many people

"Since we met three years ago, everything he said was a lie."

If you say the same thing when you are in love, it means that you have also fallen into the trap of cognitive distortion, which is called psychological filtering

All people who are accustomed to psychological filtering, he has one thing in common, that is, only seeing the bad, not seeing the good, only seeing the other party's cheating side in love, negating the good times in the three years since they confirmed the relationship, saying that the other party did not have a word of truth

"I don't believe in love anymore, and I'm afraid I'm going to end up alone in my life."

There is an old saying that is good, once bitten by a snake, ten years afraid of the well rope, this is a typical example of the typical partial generalization, there has been an experience of being deceived, it is determined that everyone is a liar, and all the happiness possibilities are guaranteed

Jump to conclusions, the eve of each exam you will feel that there is no review, this time will be tested, not yet on the exam room, you will conclude that your exam will fail, this and have not yet come out of a failed relationship, you are sure that true love will never appear again, lonely and old, this is the delusion of conclusion

Negative positive thinking

People who deny positive thinking gather all the evidence to prove that they are in a bad situation,

In the face of other people's praise, denial, positive thinking people will not be happy, they will secretly mutter in their hearts whether the other party is deliberately saying the opposite to mock him,

Or think that the other party is just in a good mood, everything is pleasing to the eye,

Transform all the happy factors into unhappy factors, add to your own blockage,

Emotional reasoning

Emotional reasoning, which is about being led by unhappy emotions,

For example, when you are faced with a task assigned by your superiors, the amount of tasks, the difficulty are very large, very annoying, very stressful, do not want to do this thing,

At this time, the direct impact of negative emotions is procrastination, the more you don't want to drag, but the more you drag it, the more you don't want to do it, and over time you form a vicious circle.

The root of this vicious circle is not because of how difficult the task itself is, but because you yourself scare yourself up first

The "should" sentence pattern

The word "should" refers to how I should think about how I should, and many of my own requests,

Many people who have requirements for themselves often motivate themselves in this way, but this kind of word will make people feel deeply stressed, annoyed, anxious, not only can not achieve the purpose of self-motivation, but may be overlapped by these overlaps, overwhelmed I should be anxious, self-denial

Blame yourself

To speak of a human being is to buckle the pot on yourself,

As long as something bad happens, they will reflexively think that they are responsible, and their successors will feel deeply guilty and self-blamed, unable to extricate themselves.

For example, the child's grades are not ideal, some parents disregard the reality of the situation, they are paranoid that they must be not good enough, in fact, the child's poor grades are many reasons, as long as you find out the reasons, you can help the children improve their grades, but if as a parent, this blind voluntary self-mourning is completely useless

How to resolve negative emotions?

Each of us experiences unhappy moments to a greater or lesser extent,

For example

Some people like to eat to reduce stress,

Some people like to buy, buy, buy, buy

Some like to sleep comfortably, and wake up the next day with everything in the past,

How powerful is laziness? Procrastinators are the most experienced

Look at this dry and that is the most important thing to do not do

The more you don't want to do it, the more you delay, the closer you get to Qi County, the things that could have been done with people are getting more and more tricky, the more tricky the more you don't want to move,

In the end, either delay the right thing, or deal with things randomly, and then self-denial, harsh blame, the mood will be worse,

The two magic weapons to defeat procrastination,

Daily activity schedule

Don't worry, say it doesn't work, it may not be the same as everyone has been exposed to before

Not only do you need to schedule what you plan to do every hour and every day, but you also need to record the actual completion,

Your plan today is to read 1 chapter of the book from 8 to 9 p.m.

And actually, you just read three pages, and then you take a shower and you go to sleep.

What you need is to document what you actually accomplished.

The purpose of this schedule is not to urge you to complete every of the above,

It's about helping you compare planning with reality and figuring out where your time is spent.

Even if you complete half of the plan, even 1/3, even if it is 1/10, you will still feel very satisfied and fulfilled.

You've already started to act, and it's better than dragging your feet and not doing it

Anti-procrastination form

You need to break down a more complex activity at hand that you are reluctant to start into smaller steps

For example, you want to write a word-for-word manuscript of oral broadcast

You can break it down into a series of steps to get it done.

Enter 丨 Learn

Topics

Find relevant information,

Outline of the export broadcast

Write the first draft,

revise

Finalized

Recording

montage

Upload the platform

Then estimate his difficulty and your completion for each step, and you can rate yourself on a 10-point scale

When you have completed the entire task and looked back, you will find that the actual difficulty of each step will be lower than you predicted

The actual completion effect is often much better than you think,

So the next time you receive a mission, you will not be afraid to go to the battlefield because of overestimating the enemy, in fact, you are much more powerful than you think.

Anger

We all have times when we can't control our temper, often after the tantrum, we are very regretful, we can't fundamentally solve the problem, and we will destroy the harmony of interpersonal relationships.

How exactly can you not be angry? The answer is to rewrite the rules

This rule is actually a psychological expectation of your interpersonal interactions.

In the end, all anger comes from the actions and ideas of others, and it does not reach the assumptions in your heart, and you feel disappointed, so you are angry.

Some girls complain and get angry because their boyfriends are not considerate enough.

In the end, the reason why the girl is angry is not how bad the boyfriend is, but that the boyfriend does not meet the standard set by her heart.

It may be said that this boy is really not good enough, or it may be that he has paid a lot of money as a boy, but compared with his own inner setting, the girl has not been satisfied.

At that time, girls need to rewrite their inner rules and lower unrealistic standards and expectations.

This way it's easier for boys to meet girls' expectations of him, and girls won't feel unhappy, eh

depression

There are four main causes of depression.

Addiction to the identification of others,

Addiction to others,

Value in terms of achievement

The pursuit of perfection,

For people who identify with addiction, they are easily affected by external factors,

When receiving praise and recognition from leaders, they are often very excited and full of energy.

As long as you are subjected to a few words of denial and criticism, you will doubt life, and your heart will fall into negative emotions like a movie.

Identify with the most common examples of depression caused by addiction,

After the confession was rejected, frustrated and lost,

Getting the approval of people you like is the happiest thing for every addict who is addicted to the identity of others

On the contrary, not getting the recognition of people they like must be a big blow to these people.

To be rejected, first recognize it as a fact, eh

"Every flower into everyone's eyes"

Some people like to eat bananas, do not like to eat apples, not because apples are not good, but because everyone's taste is different.

In this face-looking society, people with outstanding looks will still lose love, which fully illustrates this problem.

If you still feel rejected, this is a difficult thing to accept, don't get caught up in it all the time, but allow yourself to be moderately sad

Set aside ten minutes a day, specifically designed to release painful memories and thoughts, which will help you get out of the haze of rejection, in these ten minutes, you can shout and cry, fully release yourself,

After ten minutes, you have to stride forward without turning your head, do what you should do every day, and let the sun in your heart rise as usual

Do not like things, do not grieve with yourself, and stand in a higher dimension mentally to observe the changes in your emotions, details, and rational thinking

Doctrine