Every child is the treasure of the parents, the heart of the meat, in the case of conditions permitting, most parents are willing to provide the best, most comprehensive support and help for the child on the road to their child's growth.
But sometimes, excessive worry and worry about children actually reflects the parents' own anxiety and needs, and this excessive worry about children can easily have a negative impact on the growth of children.
There are different manifestations of excessive worry about children, one is to take care of children too thoroughly, whether it is eating and dressing, learning and entertainment, everything is in place for children.
In the eyes of others, this is a manifestation of parental due diligence, and children are happy to grow up in such an environment, but in fact, the subtext of such parents to their children is often "In many things, I don't believe that you can handle it well, so I am very worried about you." ”
This mentality is usually related to the parents' past, such as the parents at a certain moment in the past encountered a major setback that can not be solved, they feel very helpless and sad, and no one can listen to themselves or help themselves, so they can only deeply suppress this emotion into their hearts.
Then in the process of getting along with children, in the face of a existence that is far weaker than their own, they will naturally feel deeply worried about the other party's ability to deal with setbacks, so in other words, the excessive care of such parents for their children is actually taking care of the helpless self, meeting the lack that they once needed to be taken care of but were not taken care of.
The impact of this method on the child is that the child loses the opportunity to face setbacks, and the ability to withstand setbacks and solve problems cannot be cultivated, so when the children grow up and leave their parents, they need to face setbacks alone, and they will also feel a strong sense of helplessness and frustration.
Another manifestation of excessive worry about children is that they are too strict with their children, the requirements are too high, and they report all kinds of cram classes to their children in their spare time, and their grades must be among the best, at least to reach a level that speaks to people around them, and their children must be better than most children.
Such parents are usually too worried about their children's future and future, and this excessive worry often stems from some regrets of their parents themselves, such as some parents are very good, but they have not been able to go to college for various reasons and their development is limited.
Then their children must enter a famous school in the future may become the obsession in their hearts, by letting the children no longer repeat the same mistakes, to make up for their regrets, but this way is easy for children to have a feeling that "parents like me with 100 points, not 60 points of me, parents like the results, not me." ”
So the child will suppress the part of himself that is not recognized, in exchange for getting along with the parents, and the repressed part may erupt more strongly after getting rid of the parents' constraints, so that he finally becomes what the parents don't like, and finally repeats the same mistakes.
Poor parents in the world, parents' worries about their children, of course, is also for the child's good, but then intimate relationship, we must also have a proper sense of boundaries, when encountering problems, more to empathize with thinking, fully understand the child, respect the child, so as to make the parent-child relationship really warm and harmonious.