Author/Window Sill
You find that no, in life, some people will use some deliberate distance to hide the actual relationship between two people.
In particular, when two people, for some reason, do not want their relationship to be made public or known, they tacitly abide by certain rules.
Between the opposite sex, the surface distance is far, if you are often alone at these moments, most of them have deviated from the track and cannot be careless.
01. The time of loss;
One of the important ways to bring people closer together is to reveal the more vulnerable part of their hearts, which will make people lose their mystery in getting along, but also gain trust to a large extent.
Because of this, this person who talks to becomes particularly important.
Because sometimes, you don't know whether the other party will add fuel to the fire after knowing these things, and even look down on you. Such phenomena are not uncommon. People get along with each other sometimes very delicately, do not grasp well, close or far, there may be some potential estrangement and contradictions.
When the opposite sex, when they are lost, they talk to each other, when they meet alone, the number of times is slightly more, and the two people who may really just run to their friends will gradually give birth to different feelings in this process, and may even happen completely unconsciously, they did not expect it at the beginning, and they did not realize it.
Don't overestimate your self-control in a relationship.
I have a friend whose ex was snatched away by a girl in this way. They were in a different place at the time, and another girl appeared next to the boy, which coincided with the pressure of her ex changing jobs at that time, and the girl and he were peers, and the two people often came out to eat alone in the name of exchanging experiences.
At the beginning, her ex was unashamed, that is, with the intention of learning, he would report to her every time they met, and he would also introduce the girl to her, looking generous and without any abnormality. But, as time went on, the longer they spent together, she found that her ex had nothing to tell herself anymore. Finally, one day, she flipped through the chat records and found a lot of words that the girl had said to her ex, but she couldn't see it completely, and it was obvious that her ex had deleted some of it.
As you can see, they often encourage each other when they are lost.
Even at this moment, her ex still refuses to admit that the relationship between the two people has been ambiguous, or more intimate than she imagined, as can be seen from his behavior of deleting chat records. But her ex said that he would delete the record, just because she was afraid that she would see them chatting and think more.
In the end, they were divided.
In less than a week, her ex was with the girl.
02. When any achievement is achieved;
The desire to talk will generally be a precursor to the beginning of an intimate relationship, and only when you have some good feelings for someone in your heart, you will want to share some small things in your daily life with each other, otherwise, you are not willing to say too much.
Especially about personal achievements.
Imagine if you achieve something, and the first person you connect with is not the most important being in your mind, decreasing in descending order. But overall, your willingness to share your joy with the other person is enough to prove that this person occupies an important place in your heart.
Therefore, if a person, after achieving any achievement, will tell this good news to a certain person of the opposite sex, or even ask out two people to celebrate alone, in addition to the bondage of blood kinship itself, the relationship between each other, to say absolute purity, is basically impossible.
In particular, when one of the parties already has the other half, it is necessary to pay absolute attention to the situation at this time, and do not believe that the other party says that the so-called friends are just friends.
The biggest possibility is that one is willing to fight and one is willing to be beaten, one who loves vaguely and is willing to be perfect, one who pretends to be confused and does not admit it, and enjoys this good.
There is even a very realistic situation, that is, the relationship between two people has long been abnormal, but each other for some common interests, they are guarding this secret.
03. When feelings are frustrated;
A person, if he is emotionally frustrated, go to another person of the opposite sex to talk to, once or twice is fine, the number of times is absolutely abnormal. On the surface, it may be out of affection for the other half and want to seek a solution, but this behavior itself is unclear.
The emotional problems of the two of you, in which right and wrong, there can be no absolute right or wrong, when described by someone, it is originally with a certain bias, and may be more from your own stand to describe the problem.
At this time, the other party's point of view, to a large extent, is more likely to carry a strong subjective meaning.
This kind of behavior is extremely unfavorable to the emotional development of two people, and even has a counterproductive effect.
In the past, a girl came to me and said that her boyfriend had such a friend of the opposite sex, the relationship was particularly close, and every time they quarreled, her boyfriend would tell each other the details of the two people's quarrel. She was often angry because of this. But her boyfriend did not choose to keep a distance, but said that she thought too much, they had known each other for a long time, just pure friends, really had ideas, and would not still be friends.
Once, she stumbled upon the girl saying bad things about her, saying that her behavior was a bit of a mistake. Her boyfriend went to the girl to complain, and finally said: "If only she could be as sensible as you are." ”
After she saw it, the whole person really did not hit a fight, and without any hesitation, she proposed to break up.
Later, a mutual friend of theirs said that after the separation, her boyfriend and the girl were ambiguous for a while, eating together every day, but not officially together, and later after the girl had a boyfriend, their contact became less.
Therefore, whether boys or girls should pay attention to the fact that when your other half has a friend of the opposite sex who is emotionally frustrated and can talk to, one of the reasons why you have a bad relationship is more or less related to this person, subjectively it does not affect, objectively it will also affect. Really careless.
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