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Just as there are always two white moonlight and cinnabar moles in a man's heart, a woman may also have one or two bad men in her life who cannot be loved. Why are bad men favored exclusively by young women? Let's start with a dark personality.
First, the more "bad" the more attractive
The so-called dark personality is three special personality traits, they are:
Machiavellism
Narcissism
Psychosis
These three can be summed up as highly narcissistic, shrewd, and impulsive insane. People who usually have dark personalities generally superimpose these three traits, which are called the dark triad. People with dark personalities are more arrogant and ruthless than the average person. They act domineeringly, have indifferent feelings, and have low empathy.
Why do these people who are clearly scumbags be favored by women? This brings us to another aspect of the dark personality.
These people prefer to pursue excitement and find another way than serious love dating. This makes them stand out from the crowd and appear to be unique among ordinary people. It will naturally attract the attention of others, and there is also no shortage of female favorers.
The attraction of the dark personality also comes from other aspects. A 2012 university survey found that dark personalities scored significantly higher on dress.
This is because their narcissistic and arrogant personality makes them more likely to gain the admiration of others, so they usually pay extra attention to dressing.
In addition, this type of personality has a low level of conscientiousness. Conscientiousness refers to personality traits that are meticulous and careful, or that govern their actions according to their conscience.
It includes elements of self-discipline, carefulness, thoroughness, organization, prudence, and the need for achievement. It has traditionally been seen as a moral character. Conscientious people usually work diligently and reliably. In some cases, they can also become perfectionists and forced actors.
People with low conscientiousness scores aren't necessarily lazy or unethical, but they tend to be more laid-back, less goal-oriented, and less driven by success.
In intimate relationships, they can more easily make commitments, express false feelings to girls without burden, and make girls mistakenly think that they are in love, and they actually have a low ability to feel feelings.
Their behavioral strategies in love are more likely to shake women's hearts than the cautious appearance of the real heart.)
Second, women's love psychology
The dark personality's mercurial charm and eye-catching appearance have a fatal attraction for women. One survey found that women are more passionate when looking for short-term relationships, so men with dark personalities are more able to satisfy women's sweet and stimulating love experiences.
The survey involved 35,000 people in 57 countries, and the higher the personality of the darker the traits, the more they are able to play the wind and moon game and enjoy short-term love, and this is true of the world. If you are also a face control, the probability of falling into the trap of dark personality will be higher.
However, there are deeper psychological factors for women to fall in love with "bad men". Usually people walk into a relationship in order to escape loneliness, so they rely deeply on each other.
Bad men control women, in fact, they take advantage of each other's masochistic psychology. Most people in love, will take the initiative to give up a part of their freedom, and even have the desire to submit to their partners.
If you are obsessed with the control side of the other party, it is likely to produce masochism.
But it's not really like being abused, it's like being arranged, giving up freedom, giving up responsibility for yourself, and you can avoid thinking about some serious real-world problems. Leave everything to the other person to decide, and achieve an immersive love experience by obeying the other party's control.
Women can identify "bad men" to a certain extent from their appearance. Is it really because love drops iq when you are willing to jump into their trap? Not exactly.
It cannot be denied that women also have a desire to conquer, they also desire to be adored and admired, but the form is more secretive and gentle, usually manifested as vanity, if the "bad men" who linger in the flowers are fond of themselves, it is enough to prove their charm, and they will be more confident in choosing a mate, and the experience of this bad relationship will become a chip in the future.
In the early days of love, women begin with curiosity and men begin with a desire to conquer. Pursuing a short-term relationship is like a game, in the eyes of women is curiosity to reveal, while men are in the eyes of cats and mice.
Only a dark personality whose personality level is rich enough, or even with a little danger, can withstand the nuanced insight and exploration of women, and will not be boring and boring.
Men's psychology is similar to that of carnivores, and they have an instinct to chase their prey. This is even more evident in the action-packed, narcissistic dark personality. They enjoy the process of conquest and control, and they are not too concerned about the outcome.
The cunning of women lies in the fact that they hide their shrewdness in their hearts, the stronger they are, the better at showing weakness, and they can behave meekly and obediently in front of dangerous people to obtain the best living conditions.
Women's pursuit of passionate love is blind, but if you carefully plan a long-term relationship, most women know how to make the most informed choice.
Researchers such as Stephen Emron of Cornell University in the United States surveyed nearly a thousand young people, ranging in age from 18 to 24 years old, trying to examine the quality requirements of young people for long-term partners.
It turns out that the qualities of both men and women's most valued partners are sincerity and honesty, and the most despised are hypocrisy and lying.
Because this quality is a key indicator of whether the partner is worth investing in emotion, money, and energy in the long term. Because insincerity and lying mean that it is more likely to have an affair, allocating limited resources to third parties.
When choosing a long-term partner, what are the criteria for judging male attractiveness for women? Unlike the emphasis on appearance, personality, and love talk in short-term relationships, the survey found that women believe that men without ambition are the least attractive.
Over the course of a long history, women have developed a stable preference for mate selection, and they tend to choose men who have access to resources. Because ambition is associated with self-motivation, they are more likely to gain an advantage in resource competition.
If a man's height is advantageous enough, it will also easily attract women's attention. Even if his height is not satisfactory, if he has great ambitions, he will make up for this deficiency, which is the "Napoleon complex" proposed by Adler.
Therefore, people lurking in the dark can also be careful, you think that you are playing with the flowers, but you do not know that the flowers are attracting you to step into it.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205