Focus on "Sun Chasing Education"
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Children's puberty begins around the age of 10 to 12, which is a stage full of self and thinking. Children become interested in their true selves and experience and perceive the changes brought about by growth.
Transitioning from childhood to adolescence, they perceive this change, experience it, but do not understand it. This gives rise to a variety of emotions, such as hope, curiosity, fear, enthusiasm, anger, empathy, etc.
Adults often underestimate the emotional feelings of teenagers, and attribute all abnormalities to children's rebellion and willfulness, so emotions often lead to "war".
In order to truly decode the emotional changes of sensitive adolescents, go into the hearts of children, and achieve positive discipline, educators and parents must do a good job in the "emotional education" of adolescent children.
I was chatting with a group of thirteen or fourteen-year-olds and hearing the boys and girls speak from their hearts – fear is an impressive thing.
Growing up changes bring fear to children
When asked about his greatest fear, Giacomo replied half provocatively and half sincerely: "Morning alarm clock." At half past six in the morning, the alarm went off and a great wave of fear would rush upon me.
I turned off the alarm, but for a few seconds, the feeling of fear lingered. I got out of bed and thought about it, but I couldn't understand why I was scared. "
This got me thinking that when we ourselves transition from one state to another, we develop fear, like some kind of transition from death to life, and vice versa.
Lala is a very athletic girl. She told us about the accident that happened in the snow and her fear of not being able to set foot on the slopes again.
She justified: "I know, this fear seems insignificant, but to me, it is not. Because skiing is the only sport I really enjoy, I'm really afraid I'll never pick it up again. Even though I don't want to stop skiing, I'm afraid of it. "
Here again we see the fear of radical and unturned change, of the utter death of a part of the self and the "never again" awakening.
As a teenager, Luigi was naïve: "Fear is a very bad disease, and when it finds you, it will not leave." "
Twelve-year-old Ariana hesitated, then confessed: "I don't have much fear... No, no! I actually have a lot of fears. I'm afraid of the dark, and then spiders, but I'm also afraid of not being accepted by others or not being able to do anything... However, we children tend to acknowledge only small fears, and we never utter our deepest fears. "
When we don't know something, everyone is afraid that it will happen to themselves, changing their own inner, physical and spiritual... Especially when we don't know how to control it, or can't control it.
The biggest problem with children is that while feeling the physical change, their minds are somehow independent, and the mind is either trying to keep up with the body or is lost because it no longer knows the body. So, a child in predolescence may mean facing and dealing with the most fears in life.
Children's fears are ever-changing
In the process of vigorous change, fear is not one and the same. In fact, it is one of the most delicate emotions, and it is precisely at this difficult age that it becomes more and more complex and produces very different levels of structure, with a wide variety of categories.
Some are "phased fears" that are associated with the need to learn how to do things on their own, which is typical of fears during the transition phase of growth.
For example, a child on the road will clasp the hands of his companions, and he must learn to go out alone, that is for sure. On her first day of middle school, the little girl would want to stay with her parents, and the new environment in front of her terrified her, and she had to learn to cope on her own.
Those who are always accustomed to the company of their parents, grandparents or nannies must learn to act alone, taking public transport: as in many other cases, the fear of the first time is a natural, but unavoidable obstacle. They want to, but they don't want to face it alone: they long and endure this loneliness that can bring light.
Some are "objective fears," i.e., fears that are influenced (consciously or unconsciously) by specific, strongly symbolic external things: darkness, spiders, clowns, airplanes, some kind of noise or sound, and so on.
Some are "presumptive fears," those fears related to one's future prospects, which are also related to what an individual or other person (parent, peer, teacher, etc.) expects of him.
Needless to say, "accidental fear" is triggered by unpredictable situations that individuals encounter, and they are also the emotions most relevant to our life-saving animal instincts.
There are "regular fears" that are closely linked to everyday life, such as fears when confronted with school grades, exams, and blame.
Some are "survivory fears", which, at a macro level, are related to the state of existence of the individual and others, and touch on some grand themes, such as the way of living and the meaning of death.
There are also special "relational fears", which are a collection of some of the above fear types, but only involve relationships with others, and even almost exclusively involve close family and friends.
We can also add some types of fear such as "social fear", "hereditary fear", etc.
We can't enumerate all types of fear, not only because of its complexity, but also because there are more different nuances and connections within each type of fear.
Fear is not just a matter of good and bad
The girl Elena said: "I am afraid of insects. Once, as a child, I saw something that I didn't know what it was crawling over my bed. Maybe it's cockroaches, I don't know. It was so big and big that I was scared to cry, but I couldn't shout it, so no one came to help me. I was afraid of that thing, and then the worm didn't know where it had crawled, and I was afraid that it would crawl back again, afraid that it would hide somewhere and do something to me...
Even now, this fear still scares me, even though I know it's stupid, but I can't beat it. At the same time, I feel that this fear is protecting me, but it will not calm me as much as I hope. For example, when I go to the country, or when I stand in front of an open window in the summer..."
In this way, they slowly began to understand that the world is not just black and white, the world is all kinds of colors, full of delicate color changes. They are a little confused to realize that things tend to have many facets. For example, some fears protect us, but others oppress and prevent us from living the way we want to.
More children's perceptions of fear:
Joyce said: "It seems to me that the fear of something makes us who we are now. "
For Garda, fear can "plague you like a cancer until you are so poisoned by it that it will never be satisfied..."
Martin wrote: "I was afraid of the passage of time, of thinking that life would be fleeting like a stirring. "
For Eliza, "Without fear, life would be boring." "
Emma felt that "fear part constitutes the beauty of something."
Stefano's point is also very reasonable: "To overcome fear, you have to be very brave and you need to be very calm." "
Greta's answer is almost a standard answer: "It's not a bad thing to be afraid, because without fear, people can never feel the thrill of trembling in front of them." "
Find the best way to deal with fear
Although children are sometimes fully aware of the different functions of fear itself, both negative and positive, they struggle with fear in a disorderly and often indirect way. But sometimes, they confront fear and fight it, and use it to train themselves.
Children try to push the limits of their fears
Children make risky behaviors and actions in front of their friends, which is a typical rash attitude in adolescence; there are also "initiation challenges" to join a small group or organization, tests and tests set to prove courage. Kids this age start watching horror movies, videos, and horror novels, and they enjoy the feeling while trembling.
These are all powerful proofs of two complementary things: on the one hand, children know that they have the ability to challenge this emotion; on the other hand, they want to feel the fear firsthand so that they know where their limits are.
Parents do not support the child's fear of testing
If parents know how to see the essence of it, it is easy to realize that they are still teetering on the boundaries of childhood, and that they both want and do not want to control themselves, know themselves, and restrain themselves.
However, in the face of the test of fear, children often feel abandoned. They feel like they're not being listened to. Most importantly, they did not feel the support of their parents. Their awareness of fear is not strong and firm enough. They engage in acts such as challenges in an attempt to stir up fear.
What are adults afraid of?
However, many parents are afraid of the changes that are taking place in their children and the potential they are showing. From jealousy to arrogance, from deliberate indifference to contempt: in the face of children's impending adolescence, adult fears manifest themselves in many ways.
They fear the unknown, deny their own desires and selfishness, and cannot stand the creativity, drive and rashness of teenagers.
Parents are both afraid of them and for them. So, they assume that children are "irresponsible" and want to translate this irresponsibility into an orderly and regular sense of responsibility: they demand obedience from each other, because if they don't "don't know what kind of field they will fall into", they are in disguise announcing that they are afraid of the most important feature of adolescence - continuous change.
In short, it is out of fear that parents despise, belittle, and ignore the cries and cries of their children, who are at a loss in the chaos and clamor of the world upside down.
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