To cultivate independent learning ability and stimulate the internal driving force of learning, parents must first give their children the right to choose

Cultivating children's independent learning ability, stimulating the internal driving force of children's learning, and making children change from "want me to learn" to "I want to learn" are things that many parents are very concerned about at present.

After all, more and more people think that these abilities are difficult to obtain easily by children or their teachers.

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There is also a lot to be shared about how to develop these abilities, but we will find that often these development experiences and methods are analyzed around the child's learning itself.

For example, how parents can help their children develop certain learning habits in their children's daily learning.

Through these good learning habits, children can achieve good results or obvious progress in learning, and these advances will improve children's self-confidence and self-esteem.

This will bring very positive feedback to the child, so that the child has a "I can do better!" "And so on for positive internal learning motivation.

Driven by such motivation, children are more likely to become more active in learning, and combined with some suitable learning methods, habits, etc., they will slowly cultivate independent learning ability.

This process includes my children, and I have seen many children with independent learning ability mostly raised in this way.

Attitudes, methods, help, guidance, encouragement, habit formation, etc., the more positive the child gets, the easier it will be to obtain this ability.

Parents may indeed not be able to figure it out.

In reality, some parents may be trapped by their own lack of ability to grasp and control the learning matter, or there is no good way to teach their children to understand, and they cannot directly help their children solve various problems encountered in the learning process.

In this case, it is still very difficult for many parents to only ask parents to accompany and cultivate their children. Many times we will find that those experiences and methods that seem really good may not be effective when used by themselves, and it is likely that parents will need enough time to do so.

So if parents are really powerless in learning this matter, there is no way to cultivate children's independent learning ability?

Certainly, it's okay, because the method of developing self-directed learning ability is never the only one.

I would like to share with you a method that all parents can do without any threshold.

Of course, if conditions permit, that parents have the ability to pay attention to specific learning content and have time to accompany their children to progress, this method will have a more positive impact.

This simple way is to give your child more power to make their own decisions.

Note that the "right to make decisions" here not only means that this is true in learning and in many things in life, but at the same time we need to remember not to be "either/or" in this kind of thing - "give more" does not mean to leave it to the child to decide.

"Choosing" is also a capability.

Most of the "choices" we have to face in life are not randomly made with "dice", but often based on some purpose and made their own analysis and judgment before making decisions.

From facing problems to making choices, it is a comprehensive test and exercise for a person.

"Choice" also means responsibility and responsibility.

As for the pride after success or discouragement after failure, it can be guided, but if a child does not have the right to choose from an early age, everything is left to the parents, then in most cases such a child is likely to lack a sense of responsibility and the courage to take responsibility.

More children have no choice, no ability to choose can bring about the impact, I will not say more here, in fact, each of us can think of a lot, especially the impact on the physical and mental health of children.

The core of self-directed learning ability.

In fact, parents about "independent learning ability" are often more likely to pay attention to the word "ability" and ignore the word "autonomy".

Even if it is concerned, it is easy to understand that this "autonomy" should also be done according to certain "rules" and "requirements".

For example, the "independent learning" that many parents expect is actually according to some specific learning arrangements (which may be arranged by parents, or "other people's children" are doing, etc.), and the children are likely not involved in the formulation process of these arrangements...

Therefore, even if some parents pay attention to "autonomy", they do not realize that the real "independent learning" should be the most suitable and beneficial arrangements made by the children themselves after comprehensive analysis of a series of problems such as their own abilities, problems, goals, etc., and can be implemented.

Not to mention learning such a complicated thing, in life, we have many children in what to eat, how to eat, how much to eat, what to wear, how to wear, how much to wear, what to wear, how to wear, how much to wear, etc. Too many large and small things have no right to choose independently.

This situation is not only because parents care and care for their children, but also because they do not trust their children and worry that their children will not be able to make the best choice.

If we are also important members of a team, but no one in this team has ever listened to us, no one cares what we think, and all decisions need to be made directly from us...

How would we feel?

The most important thing is how will it affect the improvement of our ability?

Each of our families is actually a team.

Although parents' experience, experience, etc. will be much better than their children, we can indeed avoid taking many "detours", but for children it is likely to deprive them of autonomy.

And in this way, why not directly send the child to another "detour" - the child will eventually bear the many effects of the lack of this "lesson".

Respecting the child's right to choose and giving the child more choice will also be more conducive to the child's independence.

Even if it's just eating with a spoon or chopsticks or a fork, let the child try it, and he will find the best choice through his own experience, even if at a certain time his choice is influenced by other factors (such as curiosity) rather than the best, it does not matter.

If we determine that something cannot be left to the child's choice, it is also necessary to retain the child's right to participate, and let the child know what reasons we are making choices based on, reasons, etc.

And when we are accustomed to respecting the child's right to choose in daily life, and the child is also accustomed to participating in the thinking and decision-making of big and small things, then it is much simpler for us to look at the problem of independent learning.

For children, this is just one of many things that they can exercise power and make decisions, and most importantly, the decisions made in this situation are mostly what the child is capable of, not what the parents think the child is capable of.