During the Winter Olympics, Gu Ailing was on fire!
Only 18 years old, ski genius, Olympic champion, Stanford "school bully", love basketball, cross-country and other sports, can dance ballet, or the darling of the fashion industry... This young girl with super high appearance, super brain, able to write and martial arts, a well-off family, and a glory for the country quickly became a fan during the Winter Olympics and became a national idol.
Not only that, various posts that dig deep into Gu Ailing's growth experience and introduce Gu Ailing's mother Gu Yan's parenting experience have "dominated the screen" on social media, almost setting off a phenomenon-level wave of parenting learning.
Can the parenting experience of "genius" mothers be replicated?
In this regard, many experts said that a family's parenting concept is essentially a reflection of the living environment and cultural relations, but the impact on the child's growth experience and even on the road to success is actually not large.
Naturally, we cannot copy her elite family and elite family background, nor can we copy the powerful genes she inherited.
But can the path to success of genius give us ordinary people some inspiration?
I think there is.
For example, even Gu Ailing himself has expressed his "internal driving force" countless times in interviews and self-media, which is worthy of parents' attention and reflection.
Gu Ailing himself has mentioned more than once the influence of "interest" on himself.
She said in an interview:
"I'm not skiing for the Olympics, I did these things initially because I liked it, and then I started racing by the way, and I started winning by the way; that made me like it more and then go on and do it. Again, I didn't study for Stanford. ”
"I like to do different skiing moves, not to win awards."
She also encourages everyone to find something they love and stick to it, the sooner the better.
The Irish poet Yeats said, "Education is not a bucket of water, but a fire." ”
Only by igniting the child's desire for knowledge and cultivating his enthusiasm for active learning and actively absorbing knowledge is the highest state of education.
To light this fire, you need a kind of strength, and this kind of power is the inner driving force.
Intrinsic driving force refers to an internal state of arousal that is generated on the basis of need, which is a spontaneous and active internal dynamic.
Simply put, I have something missing, without this thing, I will be very uncomfortable, this sense of lack will push me to do something.
For example, I need money now, and in order to get money, there will be a force that pushes me to do things, and this force is the internal driving force.
We all know Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Only when a person's physical needs, security needs, love and belonging needs are met will we develop a need for respect and self-actualization. And the generation of internal driving force is at the upper level of this pyramid.
So, what can intrinsic drive help children do? Or rather, what is the use of internal drive?
Internal drive is a deeper dynamic.
When a person is driven by external forces, his mental energy is a state of depletion. And when he is driven by the internal drive, his psychological energy is continuous.
A child with an intrinsic drive, whether it is learning or developing his hobbies, he is proactive, immersed and enjoyable.
This is a state that is very beneficial to the child's growth.
It can be said that with internal drive, it is not necessarily possible to achieve worldly success. But true success, a happy life, must be the result of internal driving force.
So, what can we do to awaken the child's internal drive?
1, just mentioned that the internal drive is a high-level demand. We will pursue higher-level needs only after we meet them. When low-level needs such as parental discord, family discord, lack of food and clothing, etc. cannot be met, children are not in a position to develop high-level needs.
Therefore, we first want to build a harmonious family, provide children with a stable environment and unconditional love, which is the basis for stimulating children's internal drive.
2. Second, give children the initiative to learn. For children, learning is not to please their parents, nor to escape punishment, but to learn from the bottom of their hearts. It sounds a bit ridiculous, but learning is really the child's own business, and parents who are too worried will only put the cart before the horse. Have you ever heard of a bully forced out by your parents? When a child can decide when to learn and what to learn, his autonomy is actually released.
3. Let children get a sense of achievement in learning. A sense of accomplishment is not difficult, it only requires the following two elements: competency and timely feedback. Parents want to encourage their children to get a sense of accomplishment in learning, but there are actually some small skills. Let's say if you want to encourage your child to learn English. Then you can show your child some English animations that are relatively simple for her, and encourage her in time when she understands. In this way, children can find the thrill of learning.
4. Cultivate children's inner goals. Do everything to have a goal, this goal can be big or small, but can not be without, people without a goal is easy to be confused, easy to give up. If you want to awaken the internal drive of children's learning, you need to help children find a good goal, which is what children can see, can feel, and want from the heart. If there is no goal for the time being, there is no need to be too anxious. You can pay more attention to it in life with your child and gradually build it up.