A friend's child, the family conditions are very good, the relationship between parents and her is also very good, the child is sensible, obedient, but there is a problem, that is, always can not be energetic about learning, a mention of learning is irritable.
For this reason, the family uses every trick, for example, if the test is good, how much money will be rewarded, and if it is still like this, send her back to her hometown.
However, she just didn't move.
There are still many children in this situation, if they are not interested in learning, then, whether you come hard or give soft, they are not willing to act.
At most, driven by "pressure", squirming a little, it is simply more difficult to let them consciously take the initiative to learn than to ascend to the sky!
The Irish poet Yeats once said a sentence that was quoted by education experts around the world:
"Education is not about filling a bucket of water, but about lighting a fire."
Only by igniting the child's desire for knowledge and cultivating his enthusiasm for active learning and actively absorbing knowledge is the highest state of education.
To light this fire, you need a kind of strength, and this kind of power is the inner driving force.
What is the intrinsic drive?
Intrinsic drive is an internal state of arousal or tension that arises on the basis of need, manifested as an internal dynamic that drives the activity of the organism to meet the need.
Simply put, I have something missing, without this thing, I will be very uncomfortable, this sense of lack will push me to do something.
For example, I'm very poor now, I need money, and in order to get money, there will be a force that pushes me to do things, and this force is the internal driving force.
But learning is a higher need, and the need for learning and self-actualization arises only when the underlying physiological needs, security needs, belonging needs, and respect needs are met.
Therefore, the premise of awakening the intrinsic driving force of learning is to first meet the needs of the underlying layer.
For the child, parents need to ensure that he is physically and mentally healthy, confident, valuable, and has good interpersonal relationships, then, on this basis, think about how to awaken the inner driving force.
Imagine if a child in the following family environment has a need to learn:
Couples quarrel all day long, and families face collapse at any time.
Parent-child relationships are extremely poor, and children are often criticized, blamed, and even scolded.
Therefore, when asked how to improve children's academic performance, first ask the above two questions, because this is the basis and premise for parents to awaken their children's inner driving force.
What are the benefits of intrinsic drive?
Rewards and punishments are also a driving force, but they belong to the external driving force, compared to the internal driving force, the external driving force has the following problems:
There is no continuity, no transfer of responsibility can be achieved, and the half-life is too short.
Compared to the external drive, the benefits of the internal drive are obvious.
More engagement, more sustained action, and a greater sense of accomplishment.
Since there is no need for rewards and punishment chips, once the child has a breakthrough, his inner feeling will be very good, and he will enjoy the joy of this success even more.
How to awaken the inner motivation of children's learning?
The premise of awakening children's inner driving force to learn is to meet the needs of the bottom layer first, which is very important!
Therefore, giving unconditional love to the child, supporting him, understanding him, caring for him, loving him, encouraging him, these are the instincts of parents, and they are also the most important things to do as parents.
When these are satisfied, the awakening of the child's inner driving force mainly depends on the following three points:
Give your child full autonomy in learning
In the case of no one persecuting, they want to do it in their hearts, and for children, learning is not to please their parents, nor to escape punishment, or to learn from the heart.
When the child can decide when to learn and what to learn, his autonomy is actually released, especially for adolescent children, they have no resistance to the "self-control" thing, as long as they can decide for themselves.
Giving a child the autonomy to learn is the most basic condition for awakening his inner drive.
At the same time, in life, we must give the child more choices, often create some opportunities for him, and encourage him to complete independently.
Let the child experience the sense of accomplishment of learning first
Temporarily reduce the difficulty of learning.
Take some measures to lower the current learning difficulty, let the child jump to get it, let the child feel the benefits of learning first, and let him get some sense of achievement in learning.
Deliberately create feedback.
In an inspirational movie "Bottom Hot Girl", as long as the protagonist has a little progress, the cram school teacher will be desperately appreciated, desperately encouraged, in fact, this is feedback, like the game, the child can feel their own strength, slowly, the child will transfer this feedback to the learning itself, he will find pleasure from the process of doing the problem.
Cultivate your child's inner goals
Do everything to have a goal, this goal can be big, can also be small, but can not be without, there is no goal of things, people are easy to be confused, confused is easy to give up, giving up means failure.
Learning also needs to have goals, just think, I don't know what learning is going to do, do you think I will study hard, of course not.
Therefore, if you want to awaken the internal drive of children's learning, you need to help children find a good goal, which is what children can see, can feel, and want from the heart.
The highest state of education is to awaken the child's internal driving force, the internal driving force is a kind of "pushing" force, and the reward and punishment of this external driving force is a kind of "pulling" force, a moving wheel needs to have multiple driving forces, it can move forward quickly.
Therefore, we must not kill with a stick, we only need to focus on it and moderately call the external driving force.
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