Giving children too much freedom is irresponsible in a sense.
- Le Dad
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Source | Internet
"Free-range education" is ruining children
Today, in the background, I received a message from a fifth-grade parent:
My daughter is in the fifth grade this year, and she has always admired children who can sing and dance, and are outgoing and lively.
She used to have this opportunity, and when she was 4 years old, I sent her to dance class.
But she couldn't stand the pain of pressing her legs and the monotony of learning techniques day after day, and begged me not to send her to dance again.
I felt sorry for my daughter and agreed, and she never went to a dance class again.
Now, she regrets it, and has also jokingly complained about me: "Mom, if you insisted on it again, maybe I would be versatile, if you were more severe, maybe I would..."
After reading this story, I personally feel that the most regrettable thing is not the daughter, but the mother.
It is perfectly normal for a 4-year-old to choose to withdraw in the face of difficulties. If at this time, the mother can guide and encourage the child, maybe she can stick to it.
In recent years, many Chinese parents have begun to emulate foreign "free-range education".
Every day the years are quiet, and the children are "respected" everywhere.
But what is the result of this?
The child has nothing to do, and the parents regret it.
Mr. Cai Kangyong said a passage that I agree with very much:
"5 years old feels difficult to swim, give up swimming, 18 years old meet a person you like ask you to go swimming, you have to say;
At the age of 18, you find English difficult, give up English, and at 28 years old, you have a great job but you want to know English, and you have to say 'I won't yay'."
The reality is so cruel, without paying, there is no gain.
Don't wait until your child misses an opportunity and asks you instead, "Why didn't you force me in the first place?" ”
Without certain rules and regulations and good habits, "stocking" is just a blind "laissez-faire", and ultimately can not develop excellent children.
Letting it go as if it were a waiting for the flowers to blossom is the biggest lie in education.
The real free-range education is the child's thinking and the child's habits.
Only in this way can it be the children who benefit.
Education on the road
Never expect your child to be "self-conscious"
The reason why a child is a child is that he lacks self-awareness.
Others can't really establish his self-consciousness, good children are managed, and bear children are used to it.
On the road of education, parents should never simply expect their children to be "self-conscious".
Liu Huan's status in the music world is unquestionable, and he is definitely a "palace-level" figure in the field of music, but when it comes to the education of his daughter, he is a little helpless.
Liu Huan and mrs. Liu Huan have always advocated "happy education" and "free-range education" in the process of educating children, respecting any ideas of children and not forcing children to do things she does not want to do.
But in the course of an interview, Liu Huan said he now "regrets it."
Liu Huan's daughter is actually a person with a lot of musical talent, and when she was a child, she also liked to fiddle with some instruments and play the piano, but she was reluctant to practice.
At that time, Liu Huan and his wife felt that the children were unwilling to practice, and they did not force it, and now that they see that everyone else around them is versatile, they can't help but have some regrets:
"I didn't force her to study music since I was a child, and I feel a little regretful.
In fact, if you force her to practice, she may be fine.
Children with talent in this area can still push it. ”
But there is never such a thing as an "if" in the world, and the growth of a child cannot be repeated.
Laziness is human nature, and children are no exception.
Parents must understand:
Expecting children to be self-conscious is the most powerless education;
Expecting children to fall in love with learning and learn to learn is the most difficult wish to achieve.
99% of children need parental education!
"I go home and ask the child if he likes it, whether he can go to school or not, whether he can go to school or not, whether he studies or not, he 'respects' the child's opinion."
If the child doesn't like it, doesn't he have to learn anything? That's what really hurts the child.
In the past, I also thought that the child should be freed, so that she could have more freedom to do what she wanted.
However, I slowly discovered that it is a long process to educate a good and self-conscious child.
In the early stage of developing self-discipline and self-consciousness, children rely on parental supervision.
Only when parents invest a lot of time and energy to educate and restrain their children can they cultivate excellent children.
Excellent kids
It is inseparable from the efforts of parents
Dong Qing, who has always been praised by netizens for her elegant conversation and face, is "beautiful as a lan in temperament and as talented as immortal".
With the popularity of "Chinese Poetry Conference" and "Readers", Dong Qing has long become a "national goddess".
Today, her identity has also gone from being an early host to a TV producer today.
Regarding Dong Qing, many netizens are very curious: how can we cultivate such an excellent girl?
In fact, what she received in her childhood was different from the "free-range education" that many people now believe in.
When Dong Qing was a child, her parents were very strict with her.
When I first became literate, I was urged to copy and recite poems and idioms every day.
Therefore, after four years of primary school, I was admitted to junior high school because of my excellent grades.
In middle school, her father's requirements were even higher, not only listing books, but also clearly requiring her to read many famous books, but also excerpting wonderful sentences, these lessons, her father will check every day.
In the interview, Dong Qing also admitted that when she was young, she did not like her father's strictness and was so sad that she wanted to cry, but now she is very grateful.
Mo Yan said that the excellence of children is soaked in the sweat of parents.
Life is a process of descending demons and exorcising demons all the way to achieve positive results, and parents are the living bodhisattvas of their children, who can help them open up roads in the mountains, build bridges in the water, and achieve a career.
Yes, nothing has ever come out of nowhere, and behind every excellent child is the hard work of parents.
When you envy other people's children's well-written essays, but do not know that the parents behind them began to read together as early as the child's age, fluent language expression is the result of hundreds of children's books;
When you envy other people's children to learn without worrying, but do not know how much effort the parents behind them have put in order to cultivate their children's good learning habits;
When you envy other people's children's proficiency in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, but you don't know how many times the parents behind you pick up and drop off rain or shine, how many nights they are holding back their temper and patiently sparring...
Education also requires the care and efforts of parents.
We often say that we must give our children enough love, so many parents will be obedient to their children and ask the stars not to give the moon.
But in fact, this is not good for the growth of children.
If you don't push your child, he will only indulge himself more and more.
Although the strictness of parents may make children very disliked, when children grow up, they will thank this strictness and urge them to become better people.
The best education is to combine strictness and leniency
Parents should give their children freedom, but this freedom is not unlimited, unruly, unrestrained, and it is not connivance and inaction.
Education scholar Ding Lin once told such a story:
There was an American guest in her house, a third-grade girl.
Like all children, the little girl did not have the slightest resistance to candy, and after eating the first one, she wanted to eat the second.
She asked her mother if she could.
Mom said very clearly, no.
The little girl had to accept it calmly.
Many people like to talk about how free, advanced, and respectful of children's wishes foreign education is, but they ignore one point:
In front of freedom, there is also a clearly visible boundary that indicates that some things can be done and some things that must not be done.
There is nothing wrong with a certain release and tolerance, but in the face of release, there must be a clear boundary, some things can be tolerated, but some boundaries can not be crossed.
Educating children, with principled control, is a much more difficult thing than unprincipled letting go.
Behind this, the guidance of parents at key nodes, the long-term creation of the value environment, and the influence of four or two thousand pounds, it really tests the skills of parents.
When you see that other people's children are good enough, please believe it, because other people's parents have made enough efforts.
Blind education is the easiest for parents who are unwilling to maintain their own learning ability and are unwilling to improve their own education methods.
But if you want to raise a child with three views and positive mental health, you need parents to invest a lot of time, energy and high-quality companionship in their children.
*The pictures in this article are from Figureworm Creative.
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