Do yourself well, and the rest is left to time - the two mothers' further learning feelings

Hello everyone, I am the circle owner Hua Chuan (Chuan Ma), who has a son and a daughter. He studied in Europe and is a positive parent correctional instructor in the United States. Here to share with you the knowledge of second child pregnancy, childbirth, childcare, as well as the parent-child education experience of their own two treasures. Today, I would like to share my circle friends' contributions.

Chuan Mama said: As a parent, how good is it to do well? Are parents good children necessarily good? This is the myth in the hearts of many parents. Today, I would like to share with you the exploration and harvest of a mother of two treasures in Huachuan Classroom.

Wen | Boil leLe Son: 11 years old, Daughter: 2 years old Coordinates: Jinan

I am a school accountant, 36 years old, with a steady and down-to-earth personality, but it is easy to think more, do less, and not strong enough.

Family of six, in-laws, husband and I, son 11 years old, daughter 2 years old.

Usually we don't live with our grandparents, but it's close. The child's grandfather transported the eldest to and from school, and the child's grandmother helped take care of the second treasure. My husband and I go to work.

My job is a little busier than my husband's, but we can commute to work normally. The family relationship is relatively harmonious and harmonious, and there are basically no contradictions.

My son is going to junior high school in September this year, learning is medium to high, learning is not active enough, he feels very lacking in motivation, he is more procrastinating, he is usually not energetic enough, his mind is heavier, and he always feels that the whole family does not like him.

Because sometimes my dad and I would criticize him, and when we saw that he was not in good spirits or did not do well, we would say that he was not good. His father's temper is more urgent, and he will speak a little heavier. The boss also paid special attention to my tone and expression, and sometimes when I didn't have anything to do, he felt that I was angry.

My daughter is now more than 2 years old and 3 months old, and she has no sense of rules, I don't know how to discipline her, and I feel that my energy is limited.

The daughter likes to compete with her brother, especially clingy to the mother, but also more able to coax people, lively and cute personality.

It is also because of the cuteness of the daughter, it seems that the son is not cute enough, and the family praises the daughter more.

As a mom, I don't quite balance the relationship between two kids.

I felt like I was trying very hard to love them, but it wasn't working out.

In short, I feel a little lost now, and I don't know how to educate my children. So, I signed up for Chuanma's online parent training camp.

It's been almost a month. Our course is also coming to an end.

Yesterday morning my daughter and I went to school to work overtime, my husband went to the children's grandmother's house to repair the washing machine, and my son was alone at home doing homework.

The son is more self-disciplined than before, and the efficiency of learning and homework has improved. Very pleased and relieved.

This week I put away my child's tablet and phone watch and put it where the child can't find it, because I know that the child will secretly look for loopholes. After several searches, the child knows that he can't find it and is honest.

Therefore, with older children, they need to fight wits and courage, and they must also be carefully controlled. Because children are not distracted by electronic products, they are more focused on learning.

Today is the weekend, the child's grandparents, uncles and families all came to my house to play, I made a big table of delicious food, the family is happy.

This morning the time is very urgent, breakfast, grocery shopping, preparation, cooking;

The son took piano lessons at ten o'clock, and the husband sent his son to the hospital for nucleic acid testing.

Our family is online, methodical, and collaborative, without the previous chaotic and chaotic chaos of anxiety and disorder.

Especially after my father and brother left, I prepared dishes alone, and my sister played by herself, playing with blocks for a while, playing with the house, and playing with cars, which made me very attentive to making a delicious lunch.

Close to a perfect day

Here is also a summary of the learning gains of nearly a month.

First, the course is carefully designed, each course is short and concise, which is convenient for learning with fragmented time, but it is definitely not a fragment that can be half-hearted, but a fragment time that needs to be calmed down to listen carefully. The course is professional and practical, although each lesson has little time, it explains a lot of confusion in life from a scientific height, which makes people suddenly alert and suddenly enlightened.

In the teachers' eloquence, I unconsciously dissected myself, understood the children, understood the relationship, and the previous confusion was guided to become clear and firm.

Second, we must ask whether the course is worth it? ----------------- The value of the course is not to see how trivial the course is, not to see how advanced the course is. This course is professional and easy to understand, but the key to value or not is whether you are ready to change and whether you are determined to practice. To borrow a phrase from the course, "Knowledge cannot change destiny, action can." ”

Third, the course is divided into self-management, child management, child growth planning, husband and wife relationship several large modules, each module has a more systematic explanation.

Each lesson is a demonstration of wisdom and professionalism, and each lesson is a condensed essence. As long as you listen carefully, not only learn superficial knowledge, but also have a lot of unexpected gains. It can be said that "every sentence is a wake-up call". I'd love to share some of the aphorisms I've learned:

1. "Self-helpers, do your best, and leave the rest to time." ”

This sentence addresses my long-standing anxiety. Although many people around me praise my children for their good habits, politeness, and understanding, I have always felt that Dabao is not good enough, and Erbao is not perfect enough. This is the motivation for me to learn this time, but it also reveals my uneasiness.

I used to feel that I wasn't good enough, so my child wasn't good enough. Now I know: be yourself, and the rest is up to time – yes! As long as I use my heart, why should I force perfection? Every child is a pearl of difference, so why be demanding perfection?

2. "Love is like candlelight, the more the brighter it gets." ”

My family's Dabao and Erbao are more than eight years apart, but Dabao still has some unwelcome for this sister, and always feels that his love has been robbed. This candle experiment and the beautiful words of candlelight open a window, and I can say to my child very confidently and firmly: The more people in the world love you, the happier you are.

3. "Respect the child's efforts, help the child find a way to let the child maintain self-confidence", "accompany the child, give guidance, give the child the right to decide", "guide the child to make a decision, not for the child" ——— children are not born to think and do things like adults, but many adults are actually inferior to children.

We often stand at the height of our parents, dictatorial, oppressive, and accuse our children, and also call it "I am here for your own good!" "However, the real good for him is to respect, assist, and care for his self-confidence and sunshine."

Especially when the child is not doing well, we can't help but scold him and humiliate him, as if he should be omnipotent.

If parents can be more tolerant, understanding, letting go, equality and patience, children will really get better and better.

4. "Role models are the best teachers".

This sentence is to say that as a parent, we must teach by example. Through this period of study, I also felt more and more inadequate. What I asked my child to do, did I do? If every time a child makes a mistake or problem, parents can think more about where they are not doing a good job, maybe things will be easier to solve.

5. There are also many inspiring golden sentences that I can't help but want to share:

(1) If it is unreasonable, parents must come up with real evidence.

(2) Role models are the best teachers.

(3) Reading for fun.

(4) Pay attention to what your child has learned? Is there an incentive to learn?

(5) The three keys to unlocking human intelligence, mathematics, language and music.

(6) Is expressing love and feeling love the same frequency?

(7) Parents act as budget advisers for their children, but do not interfere excessively.

Fourth, persistence is the king. This study is a limited period of time, but persistence requires a long time. In this process of learning, it is necessary to practice while learning, and deepen the understanding and application of knowledge.

The course was good, and I felt like I was just learning a little bit. Weekdays are busy, and weekends are packed up with children or some social arrangements. The time to study for yourself is ultimately limited.

Although the course will end soon, I still want to learn from the past for a long time, continue to listen to the lessons and learn and practice repeatedly, really learn the true scriptures of the course, and improve my parenting ability and family relationships.

Thank you again dear teachers and dear Chuan Mama

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