01
"I don't understand things, and you don't understand things either?"
One day:
Child: I don't want to learn to dance anymore?
Father: Why?
Child: Dancing is too tired, I have to practice the basics every day, I want to learn to sing.
Father: Well, then learn what you like.
After one month:
Child: I don't want to learn to sing anymore.
Father: What's wrong?
Child: The voice is dumb, or I can't sing well, I want to go out and play.
Father: Forget it, the child is still young, this age should play, parents do not force you.
Ten years later:
Teacher: We're going to have a New Year's Day party, and everyone has to sign up for a show.
Child: Teacher, I don't know anything.
Teacher: Then you are responsible for sweeping the floor and cleaning up!
Father: The New Year's Day party is very exciting, why didn't I see you perform the show?
Child: I don't know anything, how do I get on stage? Why didn't you develop a hobby for me in the first place?
Father: You didn't want to go in the first place, how can you blame us for not cultivating you?
Child: If I don't want to learn, you won't let me learn? I'm young and don't understand things, and you don't understand things either?
The father was speechless.
I believe this is a conversation that many families will encounter.
How to cultivate children's interest? Is it to "respect" the child's opinion, or to be blamed by the child in the end?
02
"Why didn't you force your child in the first place?"
It is said that 99% of children have said to their parents: I don't want to learn anymore.
Of course, we have to admit that not only 99% of children do not want to learn, even 99% of adults do not want to learn.
Rather than "loving learning", it may be more in line with the child's nature to be "bored with learning".
But can we thus "respect" our children's opinions?
No!
Because it is an irresponsible manifestation of the child's future.
A study in the United States found that it is not IQ that determines the future of a child, but persistence.
But the child is still young, how can he understand so many truths?
Children can only see the happiness in front of them, and they have no idea how much suffering and how much suffering they will experience in the future for those who do not learn.
If at this time, even we easily let the child retreat, the child is likely to regret it in the future, regretting why he failed to grit his teeth and persevere.
We also blame ourselves and feel guilty, why didn't we force our children in the first place?
03
Children do not have a long-term vision, but parents must
The American economist James M. J. Herman, demonstrated in econometrics:
The rate of return on investing in a child's early education is the highest.
Invest 1 yuan in 0-3 children, there is a return of 18 yuan;
3-4 years old investment of 1 yuan, there is a return of 7 yuan;
Invest 1 yuan in the primary school stage, with a return of 3 yuan;
In college, 1 yuan of investment is only 1 yuan in return.
He Youjun, the son of the gambling king, is a prime example.
Some people say that He Youjun is a proud son of heaven who "holds a golden key" as soon as he was born, and he has eaten and drunk all his life.
But he didn't choose to enjoy it, and he didn't have to be loud and colorful all day.
He chose to study hard, was admitted to the United States Ivy League school - Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and also obtained a master's degree.
He Youjun not only had excellent grades, but also treated people kindly, which was completely different from those stupid children who did not learn and had no skills.
How are such children educated?
He Youjun's father often said:
"I teach children to work hard, wealth may not be with you for a lifetime, but knowledge will always benefit." 」
Children, when you grow up, you will know that there is something more important in this world than making money, that is, a person's spiritual world.
Studying hard and enriching the inner world is to help you shape your own better cultivation and character, and achieve a better self.
04
Children don't have concentration, but parents have to
Mr. Ye Shengtao said: "What is education? To put it simply, in one sentence, it is to develop good habits. ”
Some parents have enrolled their children in tens of thousands of interest classes, but in the end there is no effect at all.
A mother who was admitted to Tsinghua Told Everyone: "When tutoring my child's homework, I accompanied him and studied with my child. ”
Some parents will say, "I also accompanied me, and as soon as the child wrote his homework, I was watching from the side." ”
First of all, I would like to ask parents, have you done the following?
Don't you watch videos aloud while your kids are doing homework?
When the child is warming up homework, you don't wantonly brush vibrato?
When the child is reviewing, you don't go to the party and don't play?
Many parents also accompany their children to do homework, but only in the form of companionship, in fact, how much homework the child has, how difficult the homework is, parents have no bottom in their hearts.
Children do not want to learn, the fundamental reason is to encounter difficulties, the more they learn, the more frustrated, the more frustrated, the more like to think of others, lack of concentration, resulting in a vicious circle.
And parents only need to do one thing: accompany him every night to solve what they learned for the day.
Ask your child every day:
How many assignments are there in each subject today?
What are the difficulties in each subject?
How does your child want to start?
What subject does your child want to start with?
If the child's state is very full, then do it first from the most difficult subjects, first difficult and then easy, and improve the efficiency of homework.
If the state is very tired, then do some mechanical homework first, do not need to be too brainy, wait for the child to enter the state, and then add more difficult.
In this process, there is only one request for the child, and that is concentration.
This half hour to do this part of the homework, concentrate on doing, finished putting down, do something else.
There is no time to turn back to give you changes, think about it and do it again, don't rush to do the next lesson when you are done, and concentrate on checking.
05
Children have no self-control, but parents have to
Romain Rolland once said that the most terrible enemy is the lack of firm faith.
If parents don't help their children shape such beliefs from an early age, who can help them when they grow up?
Yang Yi was admitted to Tsinghua University with the laurel of the science title when he took the college entrance examination, and studied at Tsinghua University with his bachelor's degree and master's degree.
What is more dazzling than the academic qualifications is that in January 2018, Yang Yi stood out in a variety show "The Strongest Brain" that gathered no mathematical hegemony, all the way to the top 12, and helped his team win the championship with a success rate of almost zero mistakes, becoming the champion of this competition, and finally won the title of "Brain King".
"I don't want to learn" this sentence, our "global brain king" Yang Yi also once said to his mother.
"I was in the third grade of elementary school, and one night when I was doing homework, I saw the neighbor kids getting together to play football, and I was doing a math problem and I was wrong three times."
"I just feel discouraged, I don't want to do all this extra homework, I want to go out and play football."
So he said to his mother, "Mom, I don't want to learn." ”
Later, at dinner, Yang Yi's mother said this:
"It's normal that you can't do a problem and don't want to do it, but many things are learned by spending more time learning."
If you don't learn, you encounter this question during the exam or the competition, you can only think, I could have learned it at that time, I could have scored 100 points, do you want to do this? ”
The pain and regret of life often do not stem from "failure", but "I could have".
If Yang Yi's mother did not strictly discipline her child at that time, where is the current "brain king"?
Dong Qing, a famous host of CCTV who presided over the Chinese Poetry Conference, also thought about not studying when he was a child.
But her parents kept letting her insist, and she gritted her teeth and insisted.
To this day, she has exported chapters and intellectual elegance, and has become an intellectual goddess in the hearts of millions of people.
She said she thanked her parents for forcing her to study.
Whatever you do, it's the same – it's easy to give up, but it's hard to stick with it.
What lessons to learn is not important, teaching children to persevere from primary school and cultivating children's ability to grow in frustration is the most important.
Good study habits will be used for a lifetime.
In fact, if you pay a little attention to those who excel in various fields, you will find that they are not smarter than anyone, nor are they richer than anyone, but they know better how to persist in learning.
Don't let your child choose to enjoy at the age when they should be working hardest.
There is a passage in the book "Perseverance: How to Become a Very Powerful Person":
In this world, there are many things that are short and fast, and the immediate return of payment is also more things that require long-term investment and unswerving persistence to achieve great success.
However, people often flock to the former kind of people, and avoid the latter kind of people.
This passage applies to both children and every adult.
Transferred from the WeChat public account "Daughter Pie"