"Brush up the circle of friends, 8 million plays"
After reading this speech, I understood that the cowardice of girls is habitual by their parents
No one is born cowardly and timid
The same goes for girls, what kind of person a girl will grow into in the future
It often depends on what kind of education her parents gave her when she was a child
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01
In the past, society and other people liked to ask girls to be weak and quiet, obedient and sensible
However, with the development of the times
Such girls are becoming less and less popular
Especially after entering marriage, whether it is society or family
The demand for female power is also getting higher and higher
A successful woman is often not just a good wife and mother in the past
Instead, they are required to take care of both internal and external, and to be able to run their families well while being financially independent
In the career, be able to be proactive
In the family, it is also possible to strategize
Someone even summed it up
It is said that women now have to go out to get leaders and customers, and to pacify their children and husbands at home
Wen can do Olympiad, and Wu can carry sandbags
Whether it's making an APP or a Chinese-style meal
In short, there is nothing that women can't do
However, there are still many women in life
Especially some middle-aged housewives, when they understand
Often it is too late to wait
Many women, when young, tend to have little ambition
Even when I go to work, I always feel that the salary can support myself
Therefore, in the unit, he often behaves very sensibly, obediently, conscientiously, diligently
But they don't know how to fight for better positions and higher interests for themselves
I don't know how to accumulate experience and networking
As a result, no achievements have been achieved, and they often fall into the trap of marriage
Start getting married, having children, and having children
Some even resigned as a result and became housewives
Most working women have been standing still since then, thankfully earning a meager salary
So, are women born with insufficient abilities? The answer, of course, is no
As Cheryl Sandberg points out in her work One Step Forward
The reason why many women are stagnant in their careers is actually because they are timid and cowardly
Habitually like to hide yourself from others
Therefore, it will not take the initiative to fight
As Facebook's chief operating officer, Sandberg can be said to be the elite of the elite
She has also organized many elite meetings at work
Every time she finds that female employees mostly like to sit in the back row and try not to speak instead of male employees who like to sit in the front row and actively try to show themselves in front of the leader
In addition, many male employees dare to strive for promotion and salary increase after achieving 50 points and 60 points
Women, on the other hand, usually score 80 or 100 points and are not very confident
This means that many times, men give less but get more, while women do the opposite
So in fact, there is no difference between women and men in terms of IQ and ability
The reason why they lag behind is often because women are much more timid and cautious
And the reason why women do this is largely because
Society likes to label them with relevant labels
And female parents like to make the same mistakes in the process of education!
So how exactly should parents educate girls? Let's explore it together
02
Recently, I brushed a speech video in the circle of friends
The theme of the video is "How to Cultivate Girls' Self-Confidence", and its speaker Caroline Paul is a writer who has also worked as a firefighter
In her speech, Caroline pointed out that girls are more timid and cowardly as they grow up
In fact, it is because their parents have always suppressed and stopped them since childhood
For example, when boys want to climb a climbing frame, parents often do not prohibit it, and even encourage them
"Don't be afraid, be brave, you're a boy, it's not that hard"
But when girls want to climb, parents will not only not encourage, but also stop talking
"It's too dangerous for girls, come down"
As a result, the girl will stay in her heart
"I'm a girl, I can't do it, I can't do it, I need help" is such a concept
Boys who are allowed or encouraged by their parents become more confident
No matter what happens, they will feel in their hearts, "I can do it, I can do it."
This educational bias has created a misunderstanding
Girls should be cautious and delicate, and boys should be brave and strong
But in fact, the gap between men and women before is very small
Even before puberty arrives, girls develop better and stronger than boys
But because of the influence of the surrounding social values and the control of parents
Girls tend to lose this advantage as they grow up, and they become more and more psychologically weak
Accustomed to obedience and pleasing others, often shrinking when doing things, acting timid and cowardly, so girls often cannot get the rewards of life that match their own
They may even be injured or brutally hurt by others
03
Parents of girls at home must be understood
Girls can be as brave and good as boys, but only if you make a change
So how can parents cultivate excellent and confident girls?
The following 3 points, parents must keep in mind
Give girls a little more chance to take risks
In life, many parents tend to be very protective of girls
There is often a fear that girls will be harmed, but in fact, whether it is a boy or a girl, "risk education" is indispensable
Because only they accepted the challenge of taking risks
In the process of adventure, you will cultivate bravery, self-confidence, and strong self-confidence
So in life, parents must remember not to
Seeing that the girl climbed a little higher, she said
"You hurry down, danger"
When encountering a game where the girl wants to challenge a little more difficult, stop it
"That's too hard for girls, let's play something else"
Please give the girl a little more opportunities to take risks, so that the girl can constantly challenge herself, overcome herself, and finally strengthen herself
Give the girl a little more trust
The reason why many girls are not confident enough when they grow up is that their parents did not trust them when they were young
I always like to hit them and label them as rigid women
It's not like, "You're a girl, you can't touch this danger."
It's like, "Girls, don't do that."
As a result, girls will become more and more negative about themselves, and they will become more and more timid and cautious in doing things
As a parent, you must learn to trust your girls from an early age
I remember my daughter had just gone to kindergarten and the teacher said it the next day
"Your girlfriend is too noisy, and the other girls are quiet"
I just laughed
"Really? She's very special."
As a result, the teacher saw that I did not say anything, and I never criticized the child again
Now that my daughter is in the third grade, she ran for class president some time ago
She was the only girl who signed up, and I asked her
"Everyone else is a boy, are you afraid?"
The little guy said confidently
"What am I afraid of, men and women are the same, and I am much stronger than them"
Seriously, I'm relieved to see my daughter like this, because I believe she can really be good
Give the girls a little more encouragement
I remember one time I took my daughter to the mall to buy toys
As a result, the tour guide saw that it was a girl and immediately recommended us to buy dolls
In fact, whether it is society or others, in many cases
Everyone looks at their children with gender labels
Therefore, parents should learn to encourage their children more
Remember that parents are the biggest backing for girls
No matter what the outside world evaluates, as long as parents can actively guide and tell the girl
"You can, you're excellent"
"Men and women are the same, believe in yourself, you are not worse than them"
"Be brave, Mom and Dad believe in you"
Then girls will have more courage and confidence to resist the evaluation and kidnapping of others, and then live out their own lives and create miracles
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