Text/Word for Word
Zhang Ailing once said: For most women, the meaning of love is to be loved.
Loving a person, pouring out a lifetime, this is a woman's understanding of love, when a woman really loves a person, it begins to become "crazy".
This, especially in the married woman, who originally ran to be loved, may only give in the end, but not get.
Careful observation is not difficult to find that in marriage, those women who are unhappy have most of these three commonalities:
1. Invert loving and being loved
Principal
Nietzsche once said: When a woman loves, a man should be afraid, because at this time she sacrifices everything, and everything else she considers worthless.
In a word, it tells the desperate fanaticism of women's love, and the energy they put into it, as well as the various requirements made to men.
They want men to love themselves forever, ask men to never change their hearts, and ask men to be responsible for their families... These demands seem to make sense, and once they are said, they can feel depressing.
Just like Du Mei in "Addiction", Ben is a very cute woman, and the dialect also likes her and loves her from the bottom of her heart, but because she loves jealousy after marriage, she forces the dialect to ask every day: "Do you still love me?" "Make the other party both helpless and disgusted."
At first, they were willing to coax, but later, the dialect did not bother to repeat these clichés, and the emotions of the two became antagonistic, and the feelings gradually became estranged.
Du Mei is the main body that reverses love and be loved, she loves dialects, she hopes to get the love and care of the other party, she just needs to know which point the dialect loves herself, and then grasp this point well, it can be, such a simple thing, but messed up, it is indeed regrettable, but also worth thinking.
2, like to deceive themselves
Many women do not live the life they yearn for after marriage, the family atmosphere is tense, the husband and wife are constantly contradictory, and the family is full of chickens and dogs.
Although, in similar families, the reasons are different, women's attitudes towards problems are strikingly similar.
Many women have been wronged in marriage, but they always like to help men find excuses, they always say: bear with it will pass, he may just drink some wine, usually not like this, wait for the age to be better, when the children grow up I will divorce him... Wait a minute.
They are deceiving themselves, unwilling to face the truth of the current life, dare not face themselves, and dare not face the problem.
Just like some women who have suffered domestic violence, they always try to rationalize this matter, and even sometimes take the responsibility on themselves.
Doing so will only make yourself more and more humble in the marriage, and the longer the time, the more difficult it is to change the situation.
3, will only vent emotions, will not solve the problem
People's feelings are complicated, marriage is more complicated, no matter how much two people who once loved each other, after marriage will encounter such and such problems.
There is no doubt that problem-solving skills are directly proportional to marital happiness.
Those who are relatively happy in marriage are not necessarily lucky, but when they encounter problems, they know how to think hard, treat them correctly, and solve them seriously.
And many women will only spit bitter water everywhere when there is a problem in the relationship between husband and wife, but they are unable to solve it.
They use complaints and grumbles to vent their emotions, and never seriously think about how to solve the problem, after crying, even if this matter is over, the next time they encounter it, it is still like this, the cycle begins, the cycle is endless.
When the people around them are tired of listening to their cries, the problem has not been solved, and perhaps they can bear such pain.
Life in the world, no matter what you do, the first is the attitude, the second is the method, to deal with the simplest things are this truth, let alone face such a complicated situation of marriage?
As a woman, first of all, to love yourself, from a psychological point of view, a person likes themselves is rare, but it is relatively easy to be liked by others.
If a woman likes herself from the bottom of her heart, then others will like you more.
If women want to achieve happiness in marriage, they must experience the truth with their hearts: they do not have to put down their bodies to deliberately cater to and please men, and maintain their own characteristics; when they encounter problems, they must find ways to solve them immediately, do not avoid, do not always put their hopes on the future days, and dare not face the current life.
In marriage, the most important thing is to say in the big way: equal rights, to say small, is balance, as long as the pay and get relative equality, the relationship between husband and wife is relatively harmonious.
Wise women, more likely to attain happiness, unhappy women, also have their own causes, causes and effects.