The child has these 4 manifestations, indicating that he is "lacking in love", and parents should be vigilant when any kind of appearance occurs
The love of parents for their children should be unconditional, not what the child has done to love him
And just because the child is the child of the parent
- Caption
Some netizens once asked questions on the Zhihu network
"What are the manifestations of those children who have lacked love since childhood?"
One of the high-ranking replied that it was so
Children who lack love often behave very contradictory
They always look like they are covered in thorns and are used to protecting themselves
Or always keep your distance from the people around you, and no one wants to be close
Inside, however, they are very fragile and very eager for the attention and love of others
Once anyone behaves better for them, the child who lacks love can't help but pluck out his heart and lungs, and even deliberately try to please the other party
They are proud and inferior, strong and vulnerable, withdrawn but desperate to be seen
Yes, love is undoubtedly a key factor in children's self-construction and ensuring the nourishment of the soul
Once children are unable to attain satisfaction, it is bound to cause them to be mentally deficient, self-divided and mutilated
Therefore, as a parent, you must pay attention
When your child has the following 4 manifestations, it means that your child really "lacks love"
Please "make up love" for your child in time
01
Children are tantrums and have a short-tempered personality
In the parent-child program "Don't Underestimate Me", there is a scene that particularly impressed me
The little boy Lei Lei has a short-tempered personality, is very domineering, and often clashes with children
On this day, the teacher Zhang Meng took everyone to make a game together, and as a result, Lei Lei bullied other children
So Zhang Meng decided to punish him
Deliberately uniting other children to ignore him, in the end Lei Lei not only did not admit his mistake
Instead, it was even more collapsed, throwing things away in a big tantrum
For Lei Lei, it is Zhang Meng's punishment method that makes him feel more "lack of love"
Therefore, the heart is full of sadness and loss, and finally it will completely collapse
In life, we also often see some children
I always like to lose my temper, and if I don't go well, I will jump like thunder, especially after being criticized by my parents
Emotions are always getting out of control
Many people will say that such a child is too bearish and too disobedient
But in fact, such children are often "lack of love" in their hearts.
The reason why they behave is fierce, even a little fierce
It's a kind of self-preservation, and deep down, they tend to think they don't love anyone
In addition, they also do this to attract the attention of those around them, especially their parents
There's a word in psychology called "the oil tank of love."
Its proposer, John Gray, argues that there are two oil tanks in the human heart, one filled with pleasure and interest, and the other filled with love
When there is a shortage of oil tanks of love, people will develop insecurity and thus explode
As a parent, please remember to make up for your child's love in time, so that the oil tank of love will always be sufficient
Give the child a complete sense of security and self-confidence, so that the child's emotions will be much calmer
02
Children are always disobedient and rebellious
Some time ago, my girlfriend shared a case with me
A pair of parents are busy working all day and often neglect their 13-year-old son
The only education and concern for children is to pinch the child's no, and count down
One day, the child's homeroom teacher told them that the child had been playing games in class lately and was not good at listening to the lessons
As a result, the parents went home and reprimanded the child, making him admit his mistake, even if the child did not listen
So the father dropped his son's mobile phone
At this point, the son was angry, and he felt that his parents did not love him at all, so he ran away from home and did not come home for three days
When the police finally found him, he confessed
The reason why he is like this is because he feels that his parents don't care about him at all
And he always wanted to get their approval and care
Many times, adults are always angry at their children's rebellion
But I didn't calm down and think about it, why did the child become rebellious?
In fact, the reason why many children behave disobediently and rebelliously is because they "lack love"
I want to let my parents recognize and see myself in this way
Remember, as a parent, you don't preach to your children all day, scold your children or love your children and care about your children
True love is based on the child's feelings, trying to understand and accept the child's inner needs
And when the child's inner desire is satisfied, then they will not use the challenge method
Test over and over again if your parents really love themselves!
03
Children are always afraid of being "abandoned" and have a clingy personality
Not long ago, a college classmate complained at a party
His daughter is 5 years old, but her personality is very clingy
Eating, sleeping, and walking everywhere can not be separated from the mother
Once she had just put her child to sleep and was going to go to the bathroom
As a result, before I sat on the toilet, I heard my daughter crying and shouting in the bedroom
"Mom, Mom, where have you been?"
Later, I asked her when this situation of children came from
As a result, my friend seriously recalled and told me
"One day she was naughty, and my father and I scared her into saying we would have a brother soon, and she would do this again, and she would give her away when she turned around, and from then on the child would be like this." 」
Listening to my friend's words, I suddenly realized
Dare to love the child is "lack of love" in the heart, there is no sense of security
The famous psychologist John Bobby once said so
For children, they tend to be anxious in the face of separation from their parents
At this time, their hearts will be insecure
If parents give them enough love and companionship at this time, then the child will slowly have a strong sense of self-confidence and security
Conversely, if the parents always push them away, then the child will behave more and more clingy
I remember when I was a kid, there was a time
Mom is very busy at work and has a lot to do every day after work
So several times, I asked my mother to accompany me, and she pushed me away rudely
"Didn't you see that I was busy while playing by myself"
At that time, I thought that my mother did not want me, so the whole person was very panicked, and I was always worried that my mother would abandon me
The more my mother pushed me away, the more I had to pounce on me
Many times the child's heart is actually very sensitive
As a parent, remember to protect your child's heart
04
Children are always very sensible and well-behaved
There are always people who think that children are sensible, which is a particularly good thing
But in fact, the more sensible the child, the more prone to defects in the heart
Because of their understanding, most of them are forced
We often hear some parents educate their children this way
"You know better, otherwise Your Parents won't want you"
"Don't understand things, everyone won't like you, you know, be obedient"
"Girls must be sensible, otherwise others will say you"
In this way, in order to get the so-called like and recognition, the child again and again wronged himself, sacrificing his own preferences and inner thoughts
Over time, they will lose themselves completely and become depressed and unhappy
There was a classmate who had been staying at his aunt's house since he was a child
Every time Mom and Dad came to see her, they would tell her to listen to her aunt and uncle
Otherwise they wouldn't like her, wouldn't let her live, and Mom and Dad would be disappointed
So although she was only 6 years old, she helped her aunt with housework every day
Occasionally thinking about mom and dad will only secretly hide in the quilt and cry, there was a big thunderstorm, and my aunt did not come home
She hid in the quilt in fear and kept crying, when her uncle came in and said
"Are you afraid, is your uncle holding you to sleep well?"
Although she felt that something was wrong, she remembered her parents' words and did not resist
And because her uncle gave her "care", she was even more tight-lipped
It wasn't until one day when her aunt helped her wash her underwear that she had been violated many times
For children, parents blindly ask them to be sensible and obedient
In fact, it is to deprive them of the right to express their own ideas, such an educational method dooms children to lack love in their hearts, and finally leads to tragedy
Truly qualified parents know how to respect their children and let their children express themselves boldly
Only in this way can the child be satisfied, and in the face of small favors can he protect himself well and avoid falling into the trap
05
It is said that the love of parents should be unconditional love
So what is unconditional love?
In fact, true love is when a child makes a mistake
You will be able to understand and tolerate and actively guide your child to correct mistakes
It is that when the child needs companionship, you can care for and support the child in time
Make your child feel safe and trusted
That is, when the child grows up, you can respect the child and give the child the opportunity to express himself
Let the child become confident and optimistic, cheerful and generous
Well, today's content is here, see you in the next issue