A good mother will influence her daughter with her own insight and literacy, making her an independent, confident and happy person.
Author | Lee walnut
Some people say that the easiest way to know a girl's personality and character is to go and see her mother.
After watching the CCTV opening year drama "The World of Man", the mother-daughter style of Zhou Rong and Yue Yue, I deeply understood this sentence.
All the Zhou family members in "The World of Man" are exaggerated: their parents are simple, righteous and upright, Bingkun is loyal, Zheng Juan is patient, and even cai Xiaoguang, the "halfway son-in-law", is exaggerated, but Zhou Rong's mother and daughter are scolded to be deceitful.
"Where there is a mother, there must be a daughter."
"The same willful selfishness, the same bumpy road."
Even Song Jia, the actor of Zhou Rong, sighed:
On the one hand, he hates his daughter for rebellion, and on the other hand, he hates himself.
Every time I see my daughter, it is as if I see my own shadow, and my daughter is a copy of my mother.
True to the saying: look at the heel of the mother, you know that the girl is three or four points.
What kind of mom there is
What kind of daughter there is
The first episode of "The World of Man" reveals the willfulness and selfishness in Zhou Rong's personality.
She left everything behind to follow her love, completely disregarding her parents' affection. The father thought of his daughter and found her on crutches over the mountains.
Not only did she have no guilt, but she was full of words:
"I can sever my family ties with you, just when I jumped out of the cracks in the stone."
After her inattentive husband got into trouble, she gave her daughter to her parents and brothers to take care of until she was 16 years old. During this period, the mother suffered a stroke and was comatose, confused and demented, and her brother was in prison, and she did not bring her daughter back.
A selfish mother cannot give birth to a daughter who is grateful.
Yue Yue, who was raised by her uncle, was not only not grateful, but inherited her mother's selfishness and willfulness:
Her uncle bought a big house, and she lived in a room of her own, so that her grandmother, cousin, and cousin could squeeze into one.
When grandpa retired and returned home, her first reaction was how long and when grandpa would live, afraid that she would lose the single room.
On National Day, the whole family of eleven people rarely gathered together and agreed to take a family portrait. But when it came to the appointed time, Yue Yue wanted to read "Journey to the West" and then go, but she didn't leave, so that the family waited.
As a result, a conflict broke out, Yue Yue willfully ran away from home, and the family portrait that the family had been thinking about for more than ten years was ruined.
Educator Sukhomlinsky said:
"Every moment, you see the child, you see yourself, you educate the child, you are also educating yourself, and testing your personality." 」
The child is like a mirror that reflects the shadow of the parent.
After watching a variety show, the mother persuaded her daughter to give up the dance class to focus on learning, but the daughter did not agree, and the mother and daughter quarreled.
Mom was tough and aggressive, and in excitement reached out her hand to point at the table.
Not to be outdone, the daughter raised her voice and yelled at her mother while slapping the table to express her anger.
The tone, pitch, and tone of voice of the mother and daughter are exactly the same, and even the movements are somewhat similar.
The mother is the person closest to the daughter, and the mother's words and deeds, temperament and disposition will be reproduced in the subtle.
What kind of character a mother has, what kind of character a daughter has.
The mother decided the fate of her daughter for the second half of her life
The most proud thing about Zhou Rong in the first half of her life is her defiance of love.
When she was young, she believed in the "supremacy of love", and did not hesitate to abandon her elderly mother to follow the poet who fell in love at first sight in the mountains of Guizhou.
He also believes that this is a manifestation of self-pursuit, and uses it as a life experience to educate his daughter Yue yue.
Yue Yue really inherited her mother's "love first" theory perfectly, and regarded her mother's elopement behavior as "the most beautiful look of love" and her own example.
That's why she doesn't take the college entrance examination seriously, and she still thinks about falling in love all day long after the second year of high school.
He also does not take family affection seriously, and falls in love with his cousin who is not related by blood, completely disregarding the embarrassment of his uncle and aunt after his illegitimate child identity is exposed.
When her cousin did not respond, she used this as an excuse to let herself degenerate, drinking and bunting after school, and drunkenly dreaming of death every day, forcing her cousin to bow to her.
In the novel, it is also explained that after Zhou Nan died because of seeing Yi Yongwei, Yue Yue, who grew up, ignored the opposition of her family and found an old man who was more than twenty years older than herself as her husband.
In the end, the little three took the throne, making the city full of wind and rain, and the whole family was pointed out.
Her blind madness for love is the same as Zhou Rong at that time.
Zheng Yuanjie said:
"The meaning of mother is influence, and the effect on the child is both innate implantation and acquired penetration, and runs through every cell in the child's body."
When they are young, girls may worship their mothers, like their mothers, and imitate their mother's words and deeds.
When she grows up, the girl may hate and blame her mother, but the habit makes her unconsciously repeat her mother's every move.
Whether it comes from her heart or not, the daughter will unconsciously live like a mother and become a copy of her mother's life.
A friend around me once confided in me that she grew up watching her father abuse her mother, and her mother has always chosen to tolerate it and remain silent.
She hated her father's violent ruthlessness and her mother's weakness and incompetence.
But now, she didn't expect that she had followed in her mother's footsteps and found a grumpy husband, who had also touched her several times.
What made her most angry was that she did not have the courage to resist and forgive the other party again and again.
A girl's greatest misfortune is to live like a mother she hates.
Just like Su Mingyu in "All Is Good", she tried her best to escape from her original family, but when she grew up, she still became the person she hated the most.
The extent of the mother's influence on her daughter is self-evident.
The mother's attitude towards the other half hides the daughter's view of mate choice and marriage and love, which also affects the happiness of the daughter.
The appearance of the mother in the first half of her life is the fate of her daughter's life.
I want to raise a good daughter
Mom must be the leader
Educator Yang Yongmei said:
"The mindset of the parents determines the state of the child. Parents begin to change their minds, and children begin to change. ”
Behind the excellent girls, there must be more excellent mothers.
I know the story of netizens @ big white dog legs and mother, that's it.
In terms of educating her children, her mother began to enroll in night school to study pedagogy as early as the pregnancy stage, and four years later she received her degree.
Now she and her brother are sound and optimistic, and have a master's degree and a doctorate, "all thanks to my mother's full of educational psychology routines."
In terms of her own career, her mother taught her:
"The more girls are, the more they should know what their bottom line is, and the more they should understand how they will live in the future."
Mom's own life course is a living "record of the growth of an excellent woman".
When my mother graduated from college, she was invited to stay in school, but her mother felt that she could not teach students, so she went to Inner Mongolia to teach for two years, and felt that she could be competent before returning to the original school to teach.
After ten years of work, the leader asked his mother to bring a graduation thesis, which could earn an extra income.
But my mother felt that her education was not enough, so she began to work, children, and graduate school "three hands", six years later to get a master's degree, began to bring undergraduate subjects.
Later, she and her brother went abroad, and for the convenience of visiting, her mother began to learn English, and soon she was able to talk to her American neighbor.
After retirement, the family was afraid that the mother was bored, so they found an idle job in the fund company for the mother, and the mother felt that she did not know much about the fund, so she applied for the CFA of the following year...
Talking about her mother's past, she admired it from the bottom of her heart:
"My mother's life has long reached a height that I can't reach, and all I can do now is try to chase her back and become a person who is somewhat similar to her." 」
Therefore, she takes her mother as an example in everything, and from childhood to adulthood, she feels that learning is a particularly common thing, never tired of learning, and maintains her curiosity about new things after graduate school.
She does not want to be as good as her mother, but only hopes that many years later her children will be able to smile and write down their gratitude to their mothers like she is now.
There is a biological concept called "infiltration behavior", which refers to the fact that a newly hatched chick will follow the first moving object it sees, that is, its mother.
The same is true of the child, whose goal in all actions is to learn from the first person he knows, usually the mother.
If you are a good mother, your child will try to keep up with you and become a person like you.
Mom is the best leader for her daughter.
The book Raising Girls says:
"Mom is the most influential character in a daughter's life.
This is because you set a very strong example for her as a woman.
Knowing this will make you re-examine a lot of the things you do. ”
For the daughter, the mother is both a friend, a teacher, and a guide.
If in the process of motherhood, we can work hard to grow and maximize the role of role models, then the daughter has a good start.
The best gift a mother can give her daughter is to be a better version of herself.
The books that my mother read, the roads she walked, and the landscapes she saw not only remained in her mind for a long time, but also deeply engraved in her daughter's blood.
And this will give my daughter incomparably strong encouragement, courage and confidence in the future!
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