Su Rui once said: "The heart of filial piety is shared by everyone." In real life, filial piety to parents is the responsibility and obligation of every child, but there are many families, because of the problems of parents' feelings, it will also affect the contradictions between children in the family.
Especially for families whose parents are divorced, the children will also choose one of them to live as their parents' feelings break down, but this does not mean that the children are no longer fully responsible for the other party. This phenomenon actually exists in many families, so how do they deal with it?
First, the 73-year-old mother was hospitalized and unattended, why did she break off her family affection when she fulfilled her filial piety
Zhang Wenhua from Xingyang, 73 years old, the elderly have two sons and a daughter, and now she lives in the hospital because of a cerebral infarction but no one cares for her. The old man said that she could not even eat food in the past few days, and she was helpless before she made up her mind to ask for help. So why does she even have problems eating when her children are complete?
The old man said that when he was hospitalized, his young son Chai Zhiguo sent himself to the hospital overnight because the family was too busy and there were two children to take care of. Her words are both considerate of the child, but on the other hand, how much do the two sons and daughters of Mrs. Zhang know about the situation of the old man in the hospital?
The youngest son Chai Zhiguo said that on the afternoon of February 18, the mother was unwell, he quickly asked for leave to pick up the mother and sent it to Xingyang University Hospital for examination, when the mother's blood sugar was very high, the body convulsed, he rushed to rescue, he accompanied the mother in the hospital for three or four days, because the child wanted to take online classes, he had to go home to find money to treat his mother, he could only let the mother in the hospital first, yesterday afternoon he rushed to the hospital.
The old woman said that she had been in the hospital three times, and the hospitalization fee was paid by the younger son, and the eldest son and daughter not only did not appear from the beginning to the end during her hospitalization, but simply cut off contact with her mother, and did not ask for many years. Chai Zhiguo also said: My brother has never taken care of my mother, he has not regarded my mother as a mother, and he has not seen my mother for more than ten years. I even rubbed shoulders with my mother on the road, and I didn't even say hello when I met.
It is said that the love of mother and child is the most sacred emotion in the world. The sweetest word that a person's lips can utter is mother, and the most beautiful call is mother. But mrs. Zhang's eldest son turned a blind eye to his mother in this way, which made people unable to understand and accept it.
When the mediator asked him, how was the relationship between the two brothers? Chai Zhiguo said, "We have no relationship between the two," which was even more surprising. How can a brother of a mother and brother have no relationship? But Chai Zhiguo said that because I supported my mother, he didn't care, he had nothing to do with me.
Second, the eldest son refused to visit his mother, which turned out to be a paper agreement
It seems that this family has caused the brothers to fall out of harmony because of contradictions, and the mother and son are like strangers. Chai Zhiguo said that in the past ten years, from his personal point of view, he has always regarded himself as his mother's only child, and has never thought of going to find the eldest brother and second sister, but his mother is different from him and has always been worried about them.
Mrs. Zhang also said that she is now old and wants her children to accompany her and take care of her. In this regard, when Mrs. Zhang's eldest son heard that his mother was seeking help in the hospital and wanted him to see her, the eldest son refused, "Then I can't see it." He said he had an agreement to prove it.
Chai Zhijun said that after the death of the old father in 2015, the mother's maintenance problem has become the top priority of the three sisters, and in 2016, when the old house in the family needs to be reconfirmed, two things and one thing, the three sisters and the mother signed an agreement together, stipulating that the old house belongs to the old man's younger son Chai Zhiguo, on the condition that Chai Zhiguo alone is responsible for the old man's life, death, burial, daily expenses and medical treatment for serious illnesses.
Chai Zhiguo said that when the right was confirmed, the brother went to the village to make trouble, and the person in charge of the confirmation said that if there was a dispute in your family, you could not confirm the right, because the homestead was the mother's name, and there was no way for the mother to sign an agreement with the eldest son, and he was also very angry at that time. In his view, that agreement was basically a tool used by the eldest brother and the second sister to coerce him and his mother to shirk the responsibility of support.
But the eldest son, Chai Zhijun, said that the ancestral house was awarded to three sisters by the Zhengzhou Intermediate People's Court in 2003, and he could represent the attitude of his sister.
It turned out that as early as 2003, Zhang Wenhua and her husband divorced after a court decision, and the old house was distributed as the joint property of the husband and wife to three adult children, that is, the three sisters of Chai Zhijun. In the last ten years, the old man has been living with the eldest son until his death due to illness in 2015, and the pension and funeral expenses are borne by the eldest son. The old lady has been living with her younger son to this day.
Based on the judgment of that year, when the house was reconfirmed in 2016, Chai Zhijun believed that although the old house was still in his mother's name for the time being, it actually belonged to the three sisters in common, so the mother and brother had no right to dispose of it without authorization, which led to the final agreement.
As for the fact that his mother is now ill, the eldest son said that he would just go according to the agreement he had made, and he did not want to visit his mother in the hospital, which made people unbelievable.
The agreement is cold, but people have feelings, the mother raises us small, the adoptive parents of the children are always a matter of course, the mother took us to this world, and now the mother is hospitalized, as the eldest son, we must go to visit and give the old man some comfort. But the eldest son is a sentence: "I don't want to go." Why was he so resistant to meeting his own mother?
Third, the parents' grievances lead to the discord between mother and child, and the affection is precious, don't wait for the child to be raised and not wait
Chai Zhijun said that his mother always spoke ill of him, scolding him either that he should have died a long time ago, or that he was hit by a car, which made him very sad, and he was scolded by her when he saw his mother last summer. After hearing this, my brother said bluntly that he was the reason he had found for himself.
The younger brother said that the mother has never spoken hard to hear, the mother is now a weak person, no matter what reason others find to say that she is not good, but the weak person is weak after all, she is my mother.
The same mother, in the mouth of the brothers, but the two sentences, did Mrs. Zhang curse her eldest son? When mrs. Zhang was contacted by phone, the old man said: "He said nonsense, he ignored me, scolded me and said I was dead", when the mediator asked her again, "Have you scolded him?" ”
The old lady said, "I don't scold him when he hits me?" Mrs. Zhang's words surprised people, why did she say that her eldest son beat her, and what was going on?
In this regard, the eldest son is reluctant to tell the truth of the matter. The younger son said that when his mother and father divorced in 2003, the eldest brother had always had a good relationship with his father, for his father to have a retirement salary, he had money in his hands and treacherously followed his father, no matter what his father did, he supported it, and the brother beat his mother in order to please his father. The reason was that the father had someone outside, which made the mother very angry. Therefore, the father asked the eldest son to go to the mother and say that the matter was to be divorced, and after the divorce, the father could marry another wife.
Hearing this, the eldest son, Chai Zhijun, resolutely denied it. It turned out that his mother thought that his father had an improper relationship with a woman in the same village, and his mother let him beat the other party, and he could not listen to his mother's words and beat people's homes, so he and his mother slowly accumulated contradictions, and his mother always scolded his eldest son for not being with her.
As the saying goes, it is for His Holiness, for the dead. Chai Zhijun did not want to confide in his parents' old grievances, but his mother and brother were forced to be bitter, he said that the reason why the relationship between him and his mother was so estranged, fundamentally speaking, was that when his parents divorced, he did not choose to stand by his mother's side, in his opinion, it was not that his father had an outside heart to force his mother to leave, but that his mother did not trust his father, and he guessed randomly.
After nearly 20 years, the father of the two brothers has long passed away, and now the incident no longer pursues who was right and who was wrong with the two old people, but finds a way to help them find their family affection.
Under the persuasion of the mediator, the eldest son Zhijun also realized his own problem, he said that his father died, leaving the mother as an old man, because he may have been hurt by his mother in language expression before, he could not get out for a while, so the heart knot could not be opened, in fact, the mother still had a very good position in his heart, he said that as long as the mother did not look for trouble in the future, he would buy something to see the mother, that is, the old man spent money does not matter. He also longs to re-establish a warm relationship with his mother.
Sentiment Analysis:
After watching it, people are very emotional, they all say that mother and son have an overnight vendetta, but the relationship between their brothers and mother and son has not been in contact for more than ten years, and it can only be said that the parents' grudge has affected the normal exchanges between them, and the family affection has been lost.
There is a saying: Do not persuade others to be good without suffering. We don't morally kidnap anyone, because each has its own position, just like these two brothers, one standing father, one supporting the mother, so which is right and wrong has become the past. What they have to solve between them is the current mother's support problem is the key.
In Chai Zhijun's mind, when the mediator asked him what he thought of his mother, he could not express himself in words about his mother, who he thought was very unreasonable. But his younger brother Chai Zhiguo commented that his mother was hard-working and the best mother in the world.
In the heart of the eldest son, the mother means that she is unreasonable, and it is impossible to give her a pension. But in the heart of the young son, he has a good mother, which means that he will be happy forever, and it also means that he has a real mother, and he will give her a pension to the end.
They are also sons, but the words spoken are very different, one says that the mother is unreasonable, and the other says that the mother is the best mother in the world. This shows that in the mother's heart, the two sons have been treated differently, otherwise there would not be such a big contrast.
Some people say that no matter whether it is love, friendship and affection, it is fragile, once there is a crack, it is difficult to restore the original appearance; no matter who is sorry for whom, the crack is like a two-sided blade, one side hurts others, the other hurts oneself.
It can be seen that in families with many children, maternal love is not something that everyone can enjoy. From the words of the eldest son, he once said that his attitude represented his sister's attitude, indicating that his mother did have excessive behavior on the issue of old companions and children before, which caused brotherly discord and mother and son separation. When the old house was confirmed, she did not have a bowl of water, and there was unfair treatment for the eldest son and daughter, and the two sides signed an agreement that the eldest son and daughter would not be responsible for her future maintenance, so that the family had a gap of more than ten years.
Mencius once said: Filial piety is greater than respect. We all know that filial piety should be done early, and we should not regret it when we want to raise our children and do not wait for them. Fortunately, the eldest son Zhijun untied the knot, and although his mother complained that he did not take the breath for himself, she still thought of his son in her heart and did not cause him a lifetime of regrets. No matter how wrong the parents are, we must also learn to forgive, we can't ignore the mother because she is sick, and it is not wise to use the agreement as an excuse, which the eldest son really can't do.
I hope that their family will get along harmoniously and regain their family affection!