All mothers love their children and want to be a good mother. However, in the process of educating children, there are always some mothers who can't help but do things that hurt their children.
Tiger Mom was stern, and the child's words woke me up
Boys, at the age of seven or eight, are always the most naughty. For a while, I felt that the child was particularly skinny, and talking to him well had no effect at all. So, at night, while doing my homework, I was yelling at him. In the morning, when I got up, I was yelling at him too, and at noon at dinner, I was still yelling at him.
My son seemed to be obedient a lot under my loud education. However, during a conversation between him and my grandmother, I suddenly felt that I was wrong to do this.
The son and grandma said: "Grandma, why don't I go back to my hometown with you, anyway, my mother has a sister and doesn't love me, I don't study well, I don't eat well, I don't sleep well, my mother says I'm the worst, the most stupid, anyway, I can't get better." ”
The reason for yelling at the child is that I am in a hurry, and I may have forgotten what I said, but every time the child said something serious to his mother, what he said, he remembered it clearly, and he thought that what his mother said was true. The child's self-esteem has been greatly hit, and it is very scary not to feel affirmation and love from the mother. Fortunately, I am a mother who knows that I am wrong and will not let my mistakes continue.
If you are also a mother who often yells at your children, be careful to cultivate your child into such a character and become the most despised look you look down upon.
Children are timid and sensitive and lack self-confidence
There is a saying that good children are exaggerated. In fact, in the process of growing up, the family environment has a huge impact on the formation of his emotional attitudes and values. With the encouragement and support of parents, children will be more confident and lively, willing to make various attempts to break through themselves, and achieve good results in all aspects of development.
However, if parents always hit the child's language and criticize the way of education too much, the child will question his own ability, and he will become inferior. Therefore, parents often yell at their children, children's feelings are hurt, they become sensitive and fragile, and their self-confidence is always hit and they become inferior and cowardly.
The child breaks the jar and breaks it, and does not want to make progress
It may be that parents shouting loudly at the beginning has some obvious educational effects on their children, but with such a method for a long time, some children will be immune to their parents' "high decibel" education. The child's criticism of the parents does not matter, once he has the idea of breaking the jar and breaking it, it is useless for the parents to be loud.
Children have bad tempers and poor relationships
Parents behave, children while accepting, while constantly imitating. Children's way of speaking will become more and more similar to their parents, so some children always like to control others when they get along with friends, and the way of speaking is also more irritable. Such a way of verbal expression, the way of making friends, will make others away from you, and gradually interpersonal relationships will become worse and worse.
Children have a strained relationship with their parents and don't like their parents
Children have a sense of dependence on their parents, but this dependence will become smaller and smaller as they get older. If the parents' attitude towards the child is always bad, and they do not give the child a kind and warm feeling, it will make the child feel distant from the parents. No one likes the criticism of others, especially parents who are rude in a way that affects the intimate relationship between children and parents.
In the family, children should feel respected, understood, and cared for, which is very much needed for the child's character development. Therefore, parents and children should have good communication, instead of always yelling, parents should do a good job of talking to their children.
Communication between parents and children should be two-way, guiding children to speak out.
If the communication between parents and children is always the parents saying, the child unilaterally accepts and bears, this way of communication is problematic.
When communicating with children, parents should pay attention to their own speaking attitude, intonation and body language, a cordial attitude will make children have the willingness to communicate with parents, children are willing to answer questions or even ask questions, we can better understand the true thoughts of children's hearts, in order to guide children to solve their own problems.
The attitude of parents should be gentle and firm.
If a child makes a mistake or makes a fuss for no reason, it will always annoy the parents. However, it is best not to use words to express our anger. As an adult, parents should calmly express their angry emotions to their children, and then strengthen their attitude, do not compromise, and let the children take the initiative to admit their mistakes.
Be good at listening, actively encouraging, and praising often.
Self-identity can make children move towards self-confidence, so we should learn to listen to children's feelings, actively encourage children, find shining points in children, and often praise children.
A good child needs the affirmation of his parents, and under the guidance of his parents, he will become better and better.