I know that there is a question that is really "enduring": "Can you really be so tired with a child?" ”
The subject is a father, who said that he was twins in his family, and he brought it alone before he was two years old. So every time I see my mother saying how hard it is to take a child, I don't understand it. Wouldn't it be nice to take a child, as for?!
As soon as these words came out, it was not surprising that they caused public anger and caused many angry mothers to complain.
Maybe it's because the energy with the baby belt is almost squeezed dry, and it is hard to have a little time to go to the net, and the result is that the first thing to see: what is tired with the child.
And the phrase "don't you just take a child, as for it", has stabbed the hearts of many mothers. How tired is it to have children?
Take a look at this GIF.
Obviously doing so much housework, it looks like nothing is done.
As soon as the front foot was folded, the baby threw it all over the ground for you; just took the time to sweep the ground, and in the blink of an eye, the bear child was already rolling on the garbage.
Such a collapse, who with children knows. Seeing this, you are still going to say: "Don't you just bring a child, as for?" ”
01
How tired is it to have children? It's tiring and hard, but I don't see the sense of accomplishment the most.
On the one hand, the body is tired. Children's sleep, night milk, change of diapers, washing of baby's clothes, etc.
On the other hand, the heart is tired. Baby safety and health problems, early education enlightenment, and problems such as incompatibility with family parenting concepts make mothers feel tired.
There was a previous questionnaire "What are you doing at four o'clock in the morning Chinese?" ”
The data shows that China only began to fade away from the noise of the day at 4 a.m. and gradually fell asleep. Many people even use Kobe's phrase "I know what Los Angeles looks like every day at four in the morning" to motivate themselves.
But as a mother, I have not only seen the city at four o'clock in the morning, but also seen the look of one, two, and three o'clock.
See how Xu Xin, the Olympic champion, "complained" about taking children: three games are not tired, and children are more tired!
So, don't say that you won't be so tired with your children, you can do it, you can go up!
You try to feed your child in the middle of the night, change your diaper, and coax your child to sleep to know how tired you really are when you are a mother
02
Don't you just have a child, how tired can you be? This is probably the most annoying sentence for mothers to hear, there is no one.
There was once a short film, "The Hardest Job in the World, the Hardest Job," that made moms cry when they watched it.
"24 hours a day, 365 days a year, no holidays, even busier on holidays."
That's Mom.
No matter how sleepy the child is, the child is hungry, and the mother must get up at the first time to feed.
No matter how tired the child is, if she wants to hear the story, the mother must tell the child about the "mermaid" she loves to hear.
Aren't they tired? Tired, but they love their children more, looking at the child who is crying "Mommy", it doesn't matter if they are tired. Mothers are never afraid of being tired, not afraid of suffering, but the most feared thing is not to be understood!
Your suffering, your tiredness, your efforts, your suffering, not being understood by your husband, not being accepted by others, and saying cool words, this is the most chilling.
In the Korean drama "Kim Ji-young born in 1982", everyone's misunderstanding of stay-at-home mothers is portrayed vividly.
Kim Ji-young takes her daughter to play in the park, and Kim Ji-young looks at her daughter while drinking coffee.
Three office workers walking next to me, seeing Jin Zhiying "leisurely" drinking coffee, could not help but sigh: "Envy, I also want to use the money earned by my husband to drink coffee and hang around."
"Then you will marry too!"
When Jin Zhiying heard this, he was angry and embarrassed, but he could only silently push his daughter away.
There is also a clip where Kim Ji-young wants to return to the workplace, but time does not allow, and after her daughter is out of school, there is no one to take care of her.
My husband proposed that he could take "parental leave", but he was strongly opposed by his mother-in-law: How can my son not work?
The husband said to Jin Zhiying: "Then take another break!" ”
This sentence instantly ignited the anger in Jin Zhiying's heart, and she asked back: "Is it to see the child rest?" ”
In the eyes of many people, "full-time mothers" do not have to do anything, do not have to go to work, spend their husband's money, and are relaxed every day, so happy.
But stay-at-home moms are bitter and tired, only they know. And what they need most is the recognition, understanding and affirmation of their families.
3
I believe that everyone can find that it is an indisputable fact that the fertility rate continues to be depressed.
Dare not give birth, do not want to have, the cost of childbearing is too high, resulting in more and more people are reluctant to have children. In order to increase the fertility rate, provinces and cities have successively introduced policies to relax maternity leave, and mothers' maternity leave can be increased to a maximum of 6 months.
Even so, many women still cry out, "I don't want to!" ”
The 6-month vacation will be a better reason for some irresponsible dads to tie these moms more firmly to the parenting position.
For them, the burden of carrying children has not been reduced, but increased, and parenting is still only her battle.
What's more, the workplace changes faced after 6 months are another obstacle for some mothers.
Therefore, if you hear the mothers with babies shouting tired, please don't feel that they are pretentious, empathetic with the mothers, and actively reduce the pressure for the mothers, perhaps to make the mothers feel more understood.
First of all, say no to widowed parenting!
Parenting has never been a matter for the mother alone, but for both husband and wife. Dads with children, not "help", but should. Most family conflicts are mainly because dads are too involved and have a low sense of presence.
Fathers take the initiative to take on family responsibilities, communicate more with their wives, understand their wives' troubles, even if they are just as a listener, they will make their wives feel happy in their hearts.
Secondly, it may be better to communicate more between families, and mothers should also learn to let go, share the responsibility of raising children among the family, and make themselves less anxious.
But if the elderly really can't communicate, then mothers must understand that the child is your child, and you have the right to decide how to raise him.
Anyone's opinion can only be a reference, not a decision.
In the end, mothers should be themselves first, followed by mothers.
You know, only when you live well yourself, can your children be good, the relationship between husband and wife can be good, and the family can be harmonious.
So moms must have some time that is completely their own, to improve, to relax, to rest.