Two books that I would not recommend to my daughter

Both books have been adapted into film and television dramas, both of which have triggered the topic of "women", and have quite high ratings on Douban, one is "Kim Ji-young born in 1982" by Korean writer Cho Nam-joo, and the other is "Home on the Slope" by Japanese writer Mitsuyo Kakuda. I bought e-books a long time ago and haven't had time to read them, but through the Internet, I have always paid attention to the social effects they cause. I finally took the time to read two books recently, and after reading them, the feeling reminded me of the first time I visited the home of my boyfriend's current husband eighteen years ago.

Before I went, my husband-to-be told me that in order to entertain me, his father would make a special dish called sour and spicy fatty sausage soup, which was particularly delicious and their family liked it. Full of anticipation, I was invited to the table as a VIP, and when the bowl of the famous sour and spicy fatty sausage soup was brought to me, my saliva was about to flow. But unexpectedly, in one bite, I almost petrified. The smell peculiar to animal offal was perfectly preserved, and my stomach couldn't help but churn. I looked up at the others, and they were all talking and laughing while drinking, as if they didn't think there was anything wrong with the soup. I started to have some self-doubt, didn't I say it was particularly delicious? Isn't it true that fatty sausage soup should have that smell in the first place? Am I the only one who doesn't fit in? Self-doubt, coupled with the courtesy and nurturing that had to be shown, I continued to drink fatty soup, and God knows how I resisted the urge to vomit at that meal.

The reason why reading these two books reminds you of the experience of drinking soup is because the feeling is extremely similar. Before reading, these two books had already been held up to the sky, but after reading it, I didn't have many question marks in my mind: Oh, how can this be? Is it okay to write that? Doesn't it say it's beautiful, doesn't it mean that women must read it? How do I get more and more irritable the more I look at it? I went to check the Douban review, almost one-sided praise, and the individual bad reviews seemed inconspicuous and insignificant. I have some self-doubts, as a woman, how can I not support these two books that speak for women who are tied to social dilemmas?

However, just like after that meal, I confessed to my husband-to-be that I really couldn't drink that fat sausage soup, so I will talk about why these two books make me so irritable from the perspective of personal taste.

The story of "Kim Ji-young born in 82" begins with Kim Ji-young's postpartum depression, and then the author describes in stages the survival of Kim Ji-young as a woman from childhood to marriage and children becoming a housewife for more than thirty years, in fact, it is the gender dilemma that the majority of Korean women represented by Kim Ji-young have encountered for so many years, as evidenced by various survey data, which is probably also where the sociological author Cho Nam-joo is better at. At the end of the story, the tone of the male counselor who thinks of Kim Ji-young as a counselor reminds everyone to understand the difficulties of being a woman and the social injustices they suffer. As for Jin Zhiying's personal follow-up, there is no explanation in the book, because originally Jin Zhiying was not an individual, but represented a group portrait, as many comments said, every woman can see Jin Zhiying from herself.

But although the reality of gender issues described in the book is reliable, once it is put on Jin Zhiying, there is an unspeakable awkwardness, as if she has experienced all the problems you can think of but all women will encounter, such as boys giving priority to everything in school when she was a child, sexual harassment on the bus when she grew up, inequality between men and women in the workplace, and finally in order to take the child, she had to leave the workplace to become a housewife and a mother-in-law, etc., and then she was depressed after childbirth, how miserable it was really. But the book also describes her original family harmony, her parents, especially her mother, are strong and enlightened, and her husband is gentle and considerate, so is Jin Jiying's tragedy caused by society or has a lot to do with her own personality, or is the formation of her personality also blamed on society? I'm stupid and can't tell the difference.

Let's talk about "Home on the Ramp". The heroine, Rishako, is also a housewife who resigns at home with children, and her daily life without any ups and downs is broken by a notice to go to the court as a juror. Being a juror is a civil obligation that is not easy to refuse, and her first concern is what to do with the children within these ten days. However, fortunately, there are in-laws in the same city who can lend a helping hand.

The defendant in the case in which Rishako was involved was also a new mother who drowned her month-old child because she was overwhelmed. During the trial of the case, it is necessary to clarify the mental condition of the defendant, and the testimony appears in the scenes that point to the suspected "psychological abuse" of the defendant's husband, such as verbal attacks and demeaning to the wife, and also describe the dilemma of the new mother, such as breastfeeding problems, excessive anxiety about the development of the child, etc., in short, various social factors work together to force the defendant into a desperate situation, and eventually cause irreparable tragedy.

The experience of the defendant in the story is indeed lamentable, but what is even more lamentable is the head-making psychological activity of Li Shazi after the end of the trial every day, she can always see herself from the defendant's body, and then begin to think about how her mother once belittled her, and every word her husband said to her was actually not concerned about her, but in her PUA, and repeatedly recalled the imperfections that appeared in the process of taking her baby.

The author wants to present the reader with the bad situation that women will encounter through Li Shazi's psychological activities, but, like Jin Zhiying, I can't help but suspect that Li Shazi herself has a huge personality defect, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and feels that she does not naturally see herself from the defendant, but projects herself onto the defendant, deliberately creating a tragic atmosphere for herself as a woman.

Speaking of which, that's actually why I said I wouldn't recommend two books to my daughter---- to over-tragedize women.

This is only the inadequacy of the two works, but the problem of women is worth discussing again and again, but it is not through the way of complaining and complaining bitterly. The female dilemma that appears in the book is also real and cannot be ignored, but if women themselves fall into excessive tragic emotions, but do not think about how to solve the problem, or think of others to solve the problem for themselves, then as an individual, it is likely that they will really live into tragedy.

Societal problems cannot be solved overnight, and the utopias that everyone imagines do not exist. Suffering is the undertone of everyone's life, to some extent regardless of gender. Want to promote social progress, in addition to external factors, women themselves must also change, the most important thing is to find their most solid core, no matter how bad the external environment is, can also have my own unmoving confidence, not like Jin Zhiying and Li Shazi, always like a rootless duckweed, drifting with the waves, and unable to withstand any wind and rain. From this point of view, if Kim Ji-young and Ri Sha-ko represent all ordinary women, I think there must be many women who disagree.

In fact, there is a woman who is particularly worth learning in "Jin Zhiying born in 82", that is, Jin Zhiying's mother, she is the so-called "punching a bad hand of cards out of the king", as a housewife, she has also experienced all kinds of injustices and oppression, but she has always had a clear understanding and clear planning for life.

This is not to celebrate what women should work hard and complain, but everyone's yearning for a happy life is the same, the difference lies in the mentality and action, as well as the level of cognition of the problems encountered and the ability to solve problems. This is probably also the basis for a woman, or a person, to finally sigh a human worth!