In the fall of 2019, the discussion of women's plight in South Korea fell into another round of frenzy. The source of this trend is the release of a movie based on a best-selling novel - "Kim Ji-young born in 1982".
Just two months after its launch, it set a new record for the highest sales of an annual e-book in South Korea, creating a miracle of millions of physical book sales.
The super high sales volume has brought about a wide range of controversy.
Growing up as ordinary as I did
Kim Ji-young was the most common female name in Korea in the 1980s.
The protagonist of the novel, Kim Ji-young, was born in Seoul in 1982. The father was a civil servant, the mother was a housewife, an older sister of two years older, and a younger brother of five years younger.
From any dimension, it is a plain and logical appearance.
However, under the calm lake, the ordinary Jin Zhiying is experiencing many gender dilemmas that suffocate her.
Living with the Zhiying family, there is also grandma Gao Shunfen, who is extremely precious to the only male grandchild in the family.
At the dinner table, Zhiying always had to wait for her brother to eat enough before she could move her chopsticks, and occasionally stole her brother's milk powder, and she would be slapped on the back by her grandmother, causing her tears to fall.
In an era when meals were distributed by gender, girls always watched as the meat was delivered first to grandma's "Golden Sun" bowl.
These patriarchal ideas have been deeply imprinted in Grandma's mind since she was young.
Grandma pulled up four sons alone, but had no complaints about her lazy husband. In her opinion, as long as the husband does not steal and hit people, he is a rare good man.
Such a hard life naturally made her dissatisfied with her daughter-in-law who only gave birth to one male grandchild.
"If you want to have a son, you must have a son."
Therefore, when the second daughter Zhiying was born, the mother could not help but hold her in her swaddling and cry.
South Korea's abortion crime will be abolished in 2021, after 68 years in which a woman's uterus never belonged to itself.
Zhiying's mother was not born a mother.
Her mother's name is Wu Meishu. Despite her good grades, Mi-sook dropped out of school at the age of fifteen and went north to Seoul to work alone, using the salary earned from working day and night as tuition for her brothers.
In the era of urban enlightenment, the rural population poured into the metropolis like a tidal wave, and the male members of the family were given the mission of seizing the opportunity.
"Only when the son comes out on top, can the whole family have hope."
Until the three brothers graduated from college with the help of Mi-sook, the family praised their promising son, and no one mentioned the sacrifice of their daughter.
Mei Shu realized that within the scope of her family name, opportunity and praise would never be her turn.
So she chose marriage, put away her name, and became a silent mother.
Although none of this is a choice of the mother, it is the sole responsibility of the mother.
Just like any ordinary woman in the 80s, Zhiying grew up unanticipated, used to sacrifice, accustomed to disappointment.
Elementary school male counterparts always bullied Zhiying, bumped her with their arms, took her things, and made her mess in class.
Zhiying cried and fought for herself, only to exchange for a perfunctory sentence from the teacher: "There is nothing to make a fuss about, boys will bully the girls they like." ”
In order not to become an overly sensitive troublesome spirit, she chose to settle down after transferring from her position.
Similarly, a few years later, on the way to the middle school cram school, Zhiying was followed by strangers and reprimanded by her father - "Why is the skirt so short?"
At that moment, she still did not defend herself.
She has always grown up under such an education: danger must know how to avoid, otherwise the problem lies in people who do not know how to avoid.
Even when entering the university, Zhiying was always deprived of the right to speak in club activities because of her status as a girl.
She still unconsciously acquiesced that it was too hard for girls to be presidents, and it was good to cheer for boys where she could.
Although a little aggrieved, when she looked at the people around her, everything became taken for granted.
That's how everyone came to be.
In the novel, Kim Ji-young's sister hopes to become a television producer, but is persuaded by her family to attend a normal school.
To this end, the sister and the mother argued: "This is indeed a job that can take care of children, it should be a good job for everyone, why only for girls is a good job."
As an unmarried and childless female employee, Zhiying was banished from the project team by default and did some optional chores.
The only time it is valued is to deal with the difficult party A at the banquet
Zhiying felt as if she were standing in the middle of a labyrinth, always looking for an exit. Today, someone suddenly told her that in fact, from the very beginning, this maze had not set up an exit.
In the third year of joining the company, the resignation of the only female head of the company made Xiuzhen completely discouraged.
The female head of the school stayed in the position of head of the class for a full decade.
The top brass thought she would get married and have children at any time and never assign important tasks; her subordinates were afraid of a sudden interruption in the project and were reluctant to be her team members.
In order to prove himself, the head of the department even spent his private time at work, and the marriage and childcare plan was postponed, but he never returned to a promotion opportunity.
In the end, disheartened, she still bid farewell to the workplace, returned to her family under the pressure of the elders, and faced with a relaxed husband, Zhiying could not help but question:
"I am likely to lose my youth, health, work, social connections, life planning, future dreams and so on because I have a child, so I will always see only what I have lost." 」
"But what about you? What will you lose? ”
After the birth of the child, Zhiying gave up his job and was entangled in heavy housework every day, and was under great pressure physically and mentally.
She also thought about reintegrating into society, but found that in the Korean workplace, where overtime culture is prominent, the only thing that is willing to hire herself is the ice cream shop that allows flexible work.
"Obviously, I didn't lose my job because I had poor work ability or wasn't down-to-earth, but I still lost my job."
All previous life histories have been sealed, and since then only the identity of the mother has been left, becoming a transparent person in society.
Jin Zhiying suffocated in such an environment.
At the end of the book, she slides from postpartum depression to severe schizophrenia and begins speaking in the tone of other people.
Zhiying, who is less than 40 years old, has completely lost his voice.
An ordinary story that reflects the pain points of society.
Jin Zhiying is very ordinary, ordinary to life everywhere such a story, it seems that it is not worth being written as a novel.
She was even a little lucky – she had a good education, good looks, a gentle husband and a well-behaved daughter.
Even so, she would still feel anxious and uneasy, silently sliding into the desperate situation of aphasia.
I sincerely hope that every daughter in the world can embrace a bigger and more unlimited dream.