Recently, I was reading a rare bestseller in Asia in the past 10 years, the phenomenon novel "Jin Zhiying born in 1982".
After reading it, tears filled her eyes, maybe some people are experiencing her pain, maybe some people have come out.
This book tells the story of Kim Ji-young, an ordinary 36-year-old woman, who grew up in a traditionally conservative Korean family and then grew up slowly. Jin Zhiying is an ordinary woman who also has an older sister and a younger brother.
In Kim's house, the best things are given priority to his younger brother. She and her sister, almost everything, all together. Elementary school was bullied by a boy, and the teacher told her that it was because the boy liked her. In middle school, when I came home from make-up classes in the evening, followed by a boy, my father said that she wore a short skirt; after graduating from college, I went to the company for an interview and was asked what would you do if a male boss did something to you?
Jin Zhiying received a "standard" education from an early age
1. Dress conservatively and behave properly
2. Be gentle and obedient, never noisy, not picky
3. Be obedient, be tenacious and bearable, be able to endure hardships and sins, not be afraid of being dirty or tired
4. Be a good woman, a good wife, take care of the family, take care of the children
5. In the workplace dish, pour water for the boss to serve tea
A woman's life, there are too many not easy. No one is born to follow a standard and live within that standard.
Life is freedom and yearning, living out what you want, how can there be a standard?
Throughout her life, a woman will always be inadvertently labeled with multiple labels: to be a good daughter, a good wife, a good mother. And all these labels are always defined and judged by others.
When Jin Zhiying was in elementary school, he was bullied by male classmates at the next table for a while.
Whether the students at the next table are lining up seats, queuing, or preparing school bags, they always deliberately bump into Jin Zhiying's shoulders; they have always borrowed various stationery from Jin Zhiying, and after borrowing them, they will not return them; and they have always laughed at Jin Zhiying's clothing.
One summer, because it was too hot, Kim Ji-young took off her shoes, and the boy kicked her shoes away, just in time to kick the lectern.
At this time, the teacher who was in class shouted angrily to everyone: Who lost the room shoes.
Jin Zhiying was too scared to admit it, and the boy who had been waiting for the table leader turned himself in first, but the boy did not move.
Until the teacher finally spoke, if no one admitted, she would check one by one. At this time, Jin Zhiying was already in tears.
Finally, a girl stepped forward and said, "That's Kim Ji-young's shoe, but she didn't kick it." ”
Listening to the girl's words, the teacher understood everything.
It turned out that the boy bullied Jin Zhiying, and the teacher kept looking in his eyes, but he just didn't say it. After class, the teacher, feeling guilty, asked Kim Ji-young if there was anything he needed help with.
Kim Ji-young just cried and begged: change seats.
But the teacher's answer was meaningful: The boy bullied you, just liked you.
Young Jin Zhiying understood: If he likes me, why do you bully me every day. If you like it, shouldn't you be gentle and considerate? What the teacher said like made Jin Zhiying even more confused. In the end, the seats were changed.
But Jin Zhiying did not understand why boys are blessed and girls have to suffer silently.
Although the story takes place in South Korea, there is also such a phenomenon in China, and I hope that all girls will protect themselves.
One day, Jin Zhiying's cram school held a special lecture, which led to the end of the class, it was late at night.
While she was waiting for the bus, a boy came up to greet her and said almost that he was a classmate in the back seat of her cram school.
But Jin Zhiying, no matter how he thought, had never seen this person, and his intuition told him that the other party was a bad person. When she got on the bus, the boy jumped up.
Jin Zhiying was uneasy in his heart, and he could always see the reflected shadow on the car window: the boy had been peeking at her.
Jin Zhiying's psychology became more and more uneasy, and an office woman next to her, seeing Jin Zhiying's pale face, asked her if she was uncomfortable. Kim Borrowed her phone from the woman and texted her father telling him to come to the station to pick her up.
But when Jin Zhiying got out of the car, he did not see his father's figure, and the boy also followed her out of the car.
Jin Zhiying was even more frightened, and silently thought in his heart not to follow. The boy approached Jin Zhiying, just as the office woman ran over and surrounded the boy with a scarf, the boy broke his mouth and scolded, fortunately, Jin Zhiying's father also happened to arrive. The father thanked the office woman.
But on the way back, he severely reprimanded Jin Zhiying: why did he go so far away to study; why did he wear such a short skirt?
Later, Jin Zhiying has been living in shadow fear. Until later, in order to thank the office woman, her mother invited her to dinner and said to Jin Zhiying: There are more good men in the world. Jin Zhiying slowly stepped out of that shadow.
Jin Zhiying has been asked to endure all the way through his growth. What problems arise, we must find the reasons from ourselves, learn to be patient, be sensible, and be a standard good girl.
But is the standard for girls to be patient? Shouldn't it be an inspiration for girls to be independent, confident and protected?
Kim's sister, Kim Eun-young, whose dream is to become a television producer, is ready to achieve this dream: her grades meet the admission criteria, she has chosen the university to apply for, and has begun to review the exam materials.
However, the mother, first, because of the family's financial problems, and second, because a girl still went to a local university and chose a teacher's major more securely, persuaded her sister to change her dreams.
In the end, Jin Zhiying's sister reluctantly obeyed the family's decision. As everyone knows, this is not the truest choice of my sister's heart.
Kim Ji-eun's sister is a woman with clear goals, a sober human world, and an opinion. In the end, because she was a girl, she was asked to give up her dream for the sake of her family.
Kim Ji-young and her sister are the ordinary girls we meet every day in our lives, who want to find the exit on the ground, but they always can't reach the end of the road.
There is too much helplessness in women's growth, and sometimes the rewards are often achievements that cannot be matched. Throughout her life, women want to find themselves, be themselves, and reconcile with their imperfect selves.
Born in 1982, Kim Ji-young's story takes place in South Korea, but nevertheless: may all women be strong enough to be sure of themselves and the future. There is no standard interpretation, be gentle and strong self, and live like a desire.
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(Image from the Internet)