Parents want to be able to have twins, and the situation of conceiving two children at a time is really exciting, from the world's fertility data, the twin fertility rate is 1:89, that is, in 89 couples, there will be a twin.
It is not easy to conceive twins, but the problem of nurturing after birth is the beginning of the difficulty.
Just after the twins reached the full moon, they were sent to Grandma's house and Grandma's house respectively
Recently, while chatting with a mother of twins, I learned that because of her work, she had to separate the flowers of her twin sisters who had just turned a full moon, one at her grandmother's house and the other at her grandmother's house.
This mother also has a heart hanging on both sides every day, and she is naturally very tired. But this kind of tiredness is still secondary, the most important thing is that the two sisters rarely contact, naturally there is less opportunity to meet and interact, almost no sisterly brotherhood to speak of.
Should the twins be kept separately?
In life, there are many parents like this twin mother, and each has a last resort, generally these reasons:
1) Taking care of the child at the same time is too tiring
The process of bringing a baby is hard, and taking twins is undoubtedly doubling this hard work, one feeding and one changing diaper, and the most devastating thing is that two children cry at the same time, and they don't know which one is better to coax first. Especially when one child is sick, the other has to find a way to isolate to prevent cross-infection, and the whole family suffers.
2) Raising twins at the same time is too expensive
Now the cost of raising a baby is too high, not to mention that it is a breath to raise two, but also everything must be doubled. For ordinary families, making money by one person is undoubtedly "hitting the stone with a pebble", but two people going to work is bound to have no time and energy to take care of two children.
3) Twins consume too much of their parents' energy
If there was originally a big treasure in the family, but did not expect that the second child is a "double yolk egg", there is a toddler and two babies in the family, which is destined to be a chicken flying dog jumping life.
Parents have to take care of the two little babies' eating, drinking, and sleeping at the same time, and also take care of Dabao's young mind, which is really not so much energy.
Therefore, with these unavoidable grievances, in the end, they will reluctantly choose to separate the twins, such as the following most common parenting models:
1. Grandparents and grandparents each bring one; Mother brings one, grandparents and grandparents bring one; 3. The two children are separated, and the father and grandparents bring one, and the mother and grandparents bring one, which is exchanged once a month.
Do you know the drawbacks of twins " separating the belt " ?
1. The old man will spoil each other, and he will not pay attention to the child who is not brought by himself, and the two children will also be of their own relatives, and they will be very strange to other relatives who are not often in contact with them; 2. The child who is not raised around will have the feeling of being "abandoned" by the parents, and even the parents will have resentment and jealousy of the opponents; and the parents will also think that the child raised next to them is particularly preferential, and the other is contemptuous, or full of guilt and guilt. 3. The long-term separation of husband and wife will also affect each other's feelings, and the two children will not be able to get full father and mother love, affecting their normal psychological development.
The twins' childhood is crucial to the formation of character throughout life
There was once a news story: twins were raised separately from a young age, and only began to live together when they were 5 years old, and as a result, the two children hated each other and had no affection to speak of.
Child psychologists say that twins are more beneficial to physical and mental growth from birth, and being "separated and fostered" is definitely more harmful than beneficial.
Two children of age, hobbies, and "sharp hearts" are easy to communicate with each other when they live together, which is more conducive to the development of a more complete personality. And once you miss the best emotional relationship establishment period, then you need to pay more trust and tacit understanding to establish an emotional bond with each other.
In addition, in different growth environments, even twins will have great differences in acquired personality development.
As early as the 1990s, foreign scientists did experiments on the psychology of twins: deliberately sending identical twins to families with great differences for adoption, the results proved that the twins grew up in different environments, and the personality difference formed by the day after tomorrow was also large, which showed that even if there were 50% of the genetic factors affecting the personality, it was still unable to withstand the impact of acquired family education on personality.
Kojima would like to say:
Compared with other brotherhoods, twin children start from the birth bud, that is, two people accompany each other to grow up together, and then fall to the ground, grow up together, sharing the joys and sorrows.
This is a precious experience that other children in only children cannot appreciate, so for this kind of god-given brotherhood, parents had better stick to it, as long as the two children have a good relationship, and the pain is worth it.