Having twins is a dream of many parents, after all, it is a very special feeling to have two identical children at a time.
However, after giving birth to a pair of twins, many mothers find that although the two children look very similar in appearance, they are very different in personality, and even reach a completely different point.
Identical parents, although similar in appearance, have very different personalities
Kojima's friend has twin daughters at home, and since childhood, the personalities of the two daughters have been very different. The eldest daughter was always very naughty, and when she was a child, she was restless when she was lying down, and she would always use her small hands or feet to kick her sister.
The little daughter is very quiet, obediently lying on the bed, and when she grows up, she is also very quiet in personality, and she has the temperament of a little girl. Compared with the eldest daughter, she is outgoing and lively, with the disposition of a boy.
Friends are very strange, the two children are obviously identical twins, looking and height are the same, why in terms of personality, there will be so much difference? And in the general family, the boss is more sensible, while the friend's family is completely reversed.
In life, many parents of twins will find that their two children have great differences in personality, so what is the reason for the difference?
The twins have the same genes and life background, why are the personalities so different?
Some psychological experts bluntly said that the difference in the personality of the twins is inseparable from the family environment, that is, the difference in the personality of the twins is related to the family environment.
Identical twins have the same genes, and fraternal twins have different genes, so not all twin genes are the same.
And even if the genes and the growth environment are exactly the same, the two people are not necessarily exactly the same, there is a problem of randomness, that is, the personality of the person is not completely determined by genes and the growth environment, and there are other factors brought about by randomness.
The formation of human character is mainly related to two parts:
Congenital genetic factors
The personality of parents will be inherited to the next generation to a certain extent, such as parents are cheerful and enthusiastic, then the child is likely to be a sunny personality; and if the parents are more inferior and the personality is not independent, then the child will most likely not form a cheerful personality.
Some people say that "the original nature of man is good", and some people say that "the beginning of man is inherently evil", in fact, the character of the beginning of man is inherited, and with the growth of children, the personality characteristics contained in individual genes will be expressed.
Acquired environmental factors
The acquired environment has a greater impact on a person's personality than innate factors. As the saying goes, "Those who are close to Zhu are red and close to ink are black", which is the truth. Children who grow up in a healthy environment, even if they have bad genes in their innate personality, will be covered up;
Especially in the early childhood stage, this time the thinking is not yet fully formed, to a large extent will be affected by the environment, this time to provide children with a good growth environment is crucial.
In general, even if the twins, the genetic part is the same, but the acquired environment is not the same, the acquired environment includes the people around you, the things you contact, etc., so even if the twins are placed in the same environment, it is impossible to control what the two people touch, and the natural personality will be different.
The personality differences of twins will also be affected by the differential treatment of parents
In life, when someone around us has experienced a big thing, or after trauma, we will find that he is different from before, in a word, "completely changed a person".
Especially children, in the process of living with their parents, they will unconsciously imitate the tone, expressions and movements of their parents, and these are unconscious, but they are real. The different personalities of twins of the same parent are also due to different family role positioning.
Parents have to admit that even if they are twins, parents cannot treat their two children completely fairly, although parents are the same in living conditions and care, but they cannot be completely fair in their hearts.
And in the psychological thoughts, it will also be directly reflected in the way of treating children, like friends, although the two daughters are the same material treatment, usually the relationship is not different, but in the mother's heart, in fact, still prefer the second brother more, after all, the second brother is more obedient.
So to a certain extent, the emotional difference in parents' treatment of children will also lead to different role positioning of the two children in the family, which will gradually affect the child's personality, so in this regard, the twin personality is different, and many times it is also related to the difference in parental treatment.
Kojima would like to say:
Parents must realize that even if they are born to the same mother, the children's personality characteristics must not be exactly the same, and even some similarities cannot be done, so that parents can only truly accept the children, the children can understand each other and face each other better.