Hello everyone, I am a bean father, beans when they are very sticky, but also special "glass heart", a little thing on love to cry, people say that beans are a high sensitivity child, not very good to bring, but I think, the more this kind of child, grow up but the heart is very strong, beans are now, since the primary school, encounter problems never cry, are the first time to find their own solutions. So today, Dou Dad wants to talk to you about how to raise "glass heart children".
"Recently, Tong Tong didn't know what was wrong, he always stuck to me, and he had to find his mother wherever he went." Tong Tong's mother sighed and continued, "Yesterday I criticized him twice, and I cried that my mother didn't love me." It took a long time to calm down, and this morning I went to bed and kept asking my mother if you would not want me. But sad people, can't say dare not scold, or cry non-stop, can not leave me for a moment, a boy, so clingy glass heart, what to do in the future?"
The distress of the child mother, presumably as a mother you must be able to feel the same, the child distress, clingy, separation anxiety, is a lot of parents worried about things, coercion and inducement are used, but still day after day can not be solved, so always feel that the bear child is too squeamish, fragile and sensitive, "glass heart" If you also think so, then you may really be wronged the child, if your child also has these performances, indicating that he is experiencing a milestone stage of growth---- "emotional sensitivity period".
Whether your child can have a strong heart, an independent personality when he grows up, whether he has unlimited enthusiasm for life, whether he will express love, and whether he can establish intimate relationships with others all depends on the development of children's emotional sensitivity.
Children are about 4-5 years old, parents will find that the child suddenly becomes unusually clingy, no matter where to do anything to the mother around, and even more eager to hang on the mother all day long, the mood changes of the parents, the words become very sensitive, a little criticism of him, just cry up and feel that the mother does not love herself.
Some moms crumbled, "What's wrong with my kids!" "If your child has these manifestations, it means that he has entered a "period of emotional sensitivity."
As mentioned above, if it is placed before the age of 4, there may not be such a performance, but when the child grows up slowly, he has a deeper need for emotions, and if he wants to explore further, he will become very sensitive to the attitude of the intimate nurturer, and the parents' criticism will feel wronged and feel that the mother does not love herself.
And all these manifestations are normal and typical phenomena of emotional sensitivity.
Emotional expression sensitive period is an important milestone in children's psychological growth and development, but also a necessary process, is a person's heart from attachment to independence and strength, so as to have a complete self of the process, in this important stage, as a parent to try to meet the child's emotional needs, when the child's emotional satisfaction, the sense of security is strong, he can have an independent and complete personality, perhaps this stage of the child will make you very distressed, very tired, there will be some adults can not understand the behavior, in fact, he is through these behaviors to repeatedly confirm "Whether I am no matter what, my parents love me and accept me" Only with such confirmation can the child then move towards independence and become strong inside.
In addition to being clingy and fragile, a typical performance of children in this period is "jealousy".
Dou Dad once brought 5-year-old Dou Bean to his grandmother's house as a guest, the uncle's child is about the same age as the bean, and the bean father saw that the bean uncle's child was very polite and couldn't help but praise it. At this time, the beans on the side began to burst into tears, crying and complaining: "Why doesn't Dad praise me, Daddy doesn't love me" DouDou's love "Jealousy" makes Dou Dad cry and laugh.
"Spicy mother" Cao Ying also complained that her son "loves to be jealous".
When Cao Ying participated in the personal program "The First Mission" hosted by He Jiong, when she talked about her son, she laughed helplessly and said that her son was the closest to her, and when she took her son to the supermarket, she met her own fans and practiced fans to ask for a group photo. The son would cry, cry jealously and tell why his mother was so intimate with others. In fact, the child's "eating love vinegar" that makes adults cry and laugh is another typical manifestation of the "emotional sensitivity period".
What are the manifestations of a child that indicate that he is experiencing an "emotional sensitivity period"?
The age stage of emotional sensitivity is about 4.5 years old to 6 years old, if your child has the following manifestations, it means that the child has entered the emotional sensitivity period:
1. The child will suddenly be particularly clingy to the parents (usually the mother) and the mother will follow wherever she goes;
2. The child will frequently ask his parents to hug and kiss him, and repeatedly ask his parents whether they love themselves, so as to determine their parents' love for themselves;
3. Suddenly become sensitive to the attitude of parents, suspicious, if the mother criticizes a word, it will be very "glass heart" will cry, will say "mother no longer loves me";
4. Encounter some small difficulties, small setbacks will cry and say looking for mothers;
5. I used to be happy and smooth to go to kindergarten, but now I am always reluctant to leave my mother;
6. When you see your mother being gentle with other children, you will be jealous and feel that your mother does not love him.
What is the impact of emotional sensitivity on a child's development?
1. Whether the development of emotional sensitivity periods is smooth or not directly affects the future social situation.
For children in this special period, parents should give more inclusive acceptance and attention, and guide children how to effectively deal with their emotions when emotions come, reasonably express their emotions, and learn to reasonably solve problems in the process of interacting with others, without knowing how to get along with others because of the lack of love in their hearts, forming a flattering personality or social fear.
2. Give your child a strong heart.
Children in early childhood have huge emotional needs for their parents, just like a bottomless pit, which will constantly attract the attention of their parents and need the affirmative love of their parents to solidify their inner security. Some children even deliberately "mischievous" to win the negative attention of their parents through some wrong behaviors to verify whether their parents love themselves.
Jane, author of Positive Discipline. Nelson once said that "the more naughty the child, the more need for love", the emotional sensitivity period is precisely a good period to meet the child's inner needs and sense of security, if the child's inner emotions are satisfied enough during this period, then in the future, the child can have a strong heart, because he feels that he is loved and deserves better love, and will not be "humble" because of the lack of inner emotions when facing feelings.
So how should parents deal with children who are in the "emotional sensitivity period"?
1. Learn to listen to your child and guide your child to express communication.
Children in the emotional sensitive period will become very clingy, showing that they want their parents to be around all the time, and they need their parents to pay attention to them all the time, and even some behavior regression will occur to verify whether their parents love them, for example, they have learned to wear shoes and clothes by themselves, but they deliberately let us help him wear them; There are also children who repeatedly ask their mothers, "Do you love me the most?" ”
At this time, if we criticize the child and feel that the child is unreasonable, it will really make the situation worse and make the child feel that he is not loved. Because, the child's true intention is to verify that I am loved and that my parents love me unconditionally.
2. In the face of the baby's small emotional glass heart, parents should be gentle to deal with.
Children into the emotional sensitivity period, will become "glass heart", parents in the face of children's sensitivity and fragility, must be severely reprimanded or scolded children, and even label children with "glass heart" and "crying ghost" label, which will directly lead to children's lack of self-confidence, in the face of emotionally impermanent and sensitive children, parents should quietly ensure their emotional stability, peace of mind to help children channel emotions.
Help children to correctly look at their emotions and guide children to manage their emotions, do not say to children "you are a boy, you are a big child, but also cry and lose people do not lose people" such humiliating words, any emotions need to be vented and channeled, rather than blindly forbearance, do not let children get used to concealing their emotions and emotional needs, which is very unfavorable for the future psychological development of children. As a parent, you must tell your child that no matter what, we love him and help your child to develop a strong heart
3. Don't skimp on your love, your love is the cornerstone of your child's strong heart
Children in the emotionally sensitive period will especially need the love and attention from their parents, parents, to take the initiative to hug and kiss the child, loudly say: "Baby, I love you the most!" Don't be stingy about expressing your love, when we affirmatively express our love for our children through words and body language, it will give their little hearts a great satisfaction. There is also a little tip to share with parents, when we criticize and correct the child's mistakes, we can add the sentence "Baby, the mother loves you very much, but your behavior may cause you harm... Such words will give children more strength to correct their shortcomings.
In the process of children's growth, the most important stage is 0-6 years old, during this period, the child will face the sensitive period of various time periods, every time the sensitive period comes, it is his leap of growth, this stage of the child will have a specific sensitive thing super interest and sensitivity, children will be like a sponge in an amazing way to absorb and learn.
When the child is fully developed when the sensor arrives, his mental thinking will develop rapidly, so if your child is clingy to the "glass heart"? Congratulations! This means that your child is becoming stronger.
What kind of materials we give children, they will build what kind of mental model, thinking ability, while building self-awareness and interpretation of the world, if parents can understand in advance, they can give children key help in the critical period, so that children can grow more naturally and healthily.
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