1. Opinions about my walking baby
I have been a children's outdoor activity leader for 10 years, and have participated in more than 2,000 events large and small. From the experience accumulated from the process of work along the way and witnessing the experience of countless parents raising their children, they have their own awareness of the importance of the enlightenment work brought by family education to their children, so they decided to share their views and summarized practical methods to more parents. First of all, I want to clarify that in the process of raising children, walking a baby is definitely a science. It has no fixed reference template, only each parent who is a "family educator" to figure out the "syllabus" of their own family.
2. Different family levels actually share common parenting goals
The knowledge of walking babies may be influenced by household income in our cognition. Wealthy families are sent out to participate in camp activities from a very young age, and they have more experience opportunities, practical guidance, and better educational resources, so that they are more concerned about the so-called "quality education". Families with general income levels will pay more attention to their children's academic achievements, material security, and self-confidence. Because of the fear that the child is at a disadvantage in the "material comparison" and "spiritual comparison" of his peers, he or she has low self-esteem or alienation from family relations. There is only one root cause for all this, and that is that no matter what kind of family level, there is a common parenting goal: the desire to find a good future life for their children. The difference is that some parents believe that material security is the most important, and that a rich future life can eliminate all suffering. Some parents pay more attention to their children's ability to obtain happiness in the future, and happiness is not limited to material things. The impact of different family education guidance brought about by such cognitive differences is the essential reason for the insurmountable class gap between the new generation of children in the next 20 years.
3. The process of walking the baby is the process of passing on family values to the child
The opening chapter says a lot of feelings and crepe summaries, mainly hoping to describe to you the reality I saw and my own thinking. That in addition to assisting children to complete their studies, we as parents in the process of parenting most need to arrange the most careful arrangement is the after-school walking time, the process of walking the baby can let the child have the most intimate contact with the parents, and the essence of parents can not be ignored is: the process of walking the baby is the process of transmitting family values to the child.
4. When accompanied by parents, doing the 4 most important things is worth thousands of dollars
Deliberately show your prosocial behavior to your child
In the process of taking your baby out for a walk, deliberately show your children your best interpersonal traits and prosocial behavior. For example, driving out to meet the passers-by of Gasser, taking the initiative to give way, and analyzing your thoughts to the child: "We go out to play is not particularly anxious, when we encounter this kind of passerby who may have an emergency, we can take the initiative to give way, so that we have no loss and have done a kind act of making ourselves happy, it seems to meet the needs of others, in fact, it is for our own inner comfort, is it great and cost-effective!" ”。 Another example is to see grandparents on the subway on the train, take the initiative to take the child to give up their seats together, and respond when receiving praise and thanks from the other party: "Don't be polite grandpa/grandma, you need this seat more than I do." Such practices can make children understand the benefits that prosocial behavior can bring to others and comfort themselves under your leadership, and the child will gradually become a humble and courteous person, which will give him a great advantage in the future interpersonal relationship processing.
Share your thoughts with your child instead of telling him or her about your decision
If you want your child to develop the habit of independent thinking and the ability to solve problems, they need to be trained in daily life. Let yourself be spoken out when you have a problem that needs to be solved, rather than directly telling your child what we are going to do next. For example, if the bus station waiting for the return trip is overcrowded when you go out to play, and it is not an easy thing to get on the bus and have a seat in a short period of time, you can share and discuss your thoughts with your children at this time: "Baby, there are many people waiting for the bus now, I think it is not a particularly easy thing for us to get on the bus and go home easily, and it should be a long time, do you have any good ways to solve this problem at present?" At this time, the child may put forward her idea: continue to wait for or play for a while when there are fewer people to come back to the taxi... According to the solution proposed by the child, you can share your opinion: "I think the way to play a little more is a good choice, better than our waste of time in this boring, we will come back in half an hour to see if there are fewer people, if there are still so many people, we can consider taking a taxi home, what do you think?" In this way, the child can find a reference for the adult solution strategy for her ideas, and feel respected, and most importantly, the exemplary role you bring to the child tells her: when encountering anything, you can think about the solution, sometimes there is more than one method."
Abiding by the rules, especially social morality, will be respected
When the child is not old enough to discuss with you the right and wrong of analyzing the right and wrong of things, it is more often dependent on you to set an example and demonstration for him. Never underestimate a child's ability to learn, he or she is much more powerful than us adults. When walking a baby is often in scenic spots, parks, playgrounds or outdoor open areas, this time is often able to see all kinds of human nature of the moment, all kinds of people in society we can not deny that there are great differences in quality and cognition, in the understanding of the rules and self-restraint is also different levels. At this time, the biggest impact on children is their parents, abide by traffic rules, do not discard garbage, do not trample on the lawn and climb trees and other social virtues to pass on the parents at this time. Maybe there are many people who violate the rules and social morality are doing things, maybe the children are witnessing the occurrence of one example after another, but at this time, as long as the parents stick to the bottom line, and tell the children that the rules and public morality will not be ignored because someone violates it, what we have to do is to manage ourselves and try not to cause trouble to others, which is the most basic criterion for a qualified citizen.
When encountering injustice or danger, do not run away and be calm
In the life of social groups, friction between people is a very common thing. However, in my years of work, I have found that many parents have a headache that children either do not protect themselves or over-protect themselves so that they often have aggressive behavior. Obviously, both of these states are not desirable, but how to do it has become a difficult problem for parents. This problem we must have a clear understanding of the highlights, the first point is that the parents' past behavior will become the child's reference experience to deal with this problem, the second point is that each child is not born in some educational theories as a blank piece of paper, our personality in the special temperament type is innate, we as parents should clearly know their children's natural temperament to intervene and guide. For example, there is a huge contrast between my two children, the eldest daughter is not very secure and thin by nature, and the second son is born to be more fearless and stronger. The way these two children are treated with interpersonal conflict or "threats" from social life is different. For children who are more cowering, parents should resolutely and firmly state their position when they encounter unfair treatment (even if it is a small matter, such as maliciously cutting in line and being treated impolitely), and they must not give in, so that children can see that adhering to correct behavior can win unfairly without stirring up trouble, do not fear each other, at any time can be reasonable, even if threatened, there will be a rule of law organ to punish the other party. For children who are born more fearless, we should teach him (her) how to be gentle, for example: when encountering an unreasonable and unqualified "scum", it is particularly important to repeatedly clarify his position and needs without negative emotions (anger), not to give in or to do anything, so that children can learn how their emotions are not provoked by others and do things out of the ordinary. If you encounter conflicts and frictions between children, the first thing to ensure is that the children are not harmed physically and psychologically, apologize and apologize, and do not overly ignore others or blame their own children.
5. Strive for as many experience opportunities as possible for your child
It is very, very necessary for children to participate in group activities among their peer groups, such as summer camp activities, sports events, parent-child gatherings, etc. If economic conditions permit winter and summer vacations or weekends, it is still necessary to let children follow professional institutions to participate in activities as much as possible. Of course, how to select a professional and reliable institution is also a science, in the future article I can teach parents and friends how to make choice judgments from the perspective of a professional practitioner. Of course, if economic conditions or other factors lead to the inability to send children out of the experience of high frequency, we must also remember that the golden time of walking the baby is before the age of 12, missing this time period will have a lot of key social skills that can not be obtained, and the child will eventually use more time and money to make it back in later life. Of course, just like travel, less investment does not mean less harvest, parents also have their own methods and skills to walk the baby, and I will share them with you one by one in future articles.
Write at the end
As a professional engaged in children's outdoor activities, ten years of practice time has witnessed too many children in the outdoor vast world to experience self-improvement, but also saw many children in the 3-12 years of age in the time period between each other a huge gap, so I hope that through my more sharing can give more parents more inspiration in parenting. I also sincerely hope that every parent's parenting path can begin with self-improvement. Follow me and I will do my best to provide you with the experience I can share.