Gu Ailing, what kind of family education has made her

At the Beijing Winter Olympics, Gu Ailing, the "god of Ceres" who was once again the god of war, was completely popular all over the world, and people all over the world knew about this athlete who combined beauty and wisdom and the proud son of the times.

The success of every child is inseparable from successful family education. Because parents are the child's first teachers and never retired teachers, the family is the land where children absorb nutrients, and whether a sapling can grow into a towering tree is inseparable from the fertile land.

Gu Ailing's growth process highlights the basic laws of education with vivid cases.

1 It doesn't have to be perfect, just love.

Tiger mother parenting, driven by fear. Gu Ailing calls her mother "Rabbit Mother", and Rabbit Mother educates her children and drives them with love.

Tiger mothers force their children to become "other people's children", excellent and perfect everywhere, and it is difficult for children to have real self-confidence. In most cases, children will fall into fear and depression, they are afraid that their parents will not love themselves, and they will not be worthless if they do not get the first self. Outside the mountain Qingshan Lou outer building, there are strong hands in the strong, after entering the larger pond, there is a good chance that you will not get the first. The fear of not becoming the first will bind people's lives, and children will often be trapped here when they grow up.

Another kind of excellence is that it doesn't have to be perfect, just love. Gu Mama said, "Growing up in China's education, I feel that imperfection is a flaw. I consciously wanted Ailing not to be a perfect person, because it didn't exist. I said to her, you don't have to go to Stanford, you go to whatever school as long as you like it yourself. More importantly, never give up learning for the rest of your life. ”

Parents see their children as independent people, to support and respect. Children have their own perspectives, interests, and goals. Parents encourage their children to pursue their own interests and set their own goals. Failure is inevitable, but parents will teach them that failure is part of growing up. Difficulties don't scare them. They are strong because of love, and failure makes them stronger. They focus on the process, they are more focused, they are more tenacious, so it is easier to get good results.

2 Know yourself, express yourself, and challenge yourself.

Gu Ailing repeatedly stressed, "The biggest opponent is yourself." I want to be the best, but I don't have to suppress everyone else, but when I can be the best person I can be. ”

"The winner is powerful, the self-victor is strong", the only way to overcome others is to say that there is strength, and to be able to challenge themselves and overcome themselves is really strong.

The major problems in growing up are related to the "self". Knowing yourself, finding your own talents and loves, and striving to push your limits is what education should pursue. Express yourself, in the process of creation and problem solving, see and highlight the powerful power of yourself, feel the pride and sense of domination of being born as a person, and nourish the vigorous and upward spiritual outlook. Challenge yourself and good qualities will follow.

This is a completely different logic from the established growth path designed by Tiger Mom.

3 Parent-child relationship is fundamental.

Although Gu Ailing lives in a single-parent family, it is easy to see from various interview videos that her relationship with her mother and grandmother is very good.

A good parent-child relationship is the foundation of family education. Unconditional love is to let the child feel that the mother is always behind you and stands with you, you can always ask for help if you have any difficulties, and the mother will always accept, understand and support you. Mom loves you, not because you perform well and take first, and this love does not need to be attached to any conditions.

Children find that no matter how well they do it or not, someone cares. Sad people hug, happy people applaud, do bad things someone corrected, they are never alone. No matter what happens, you are loved, needed, cared for, life is valuable, and the world is worth it. No matter how big the setback is, someone will help themselves. Parent-child love is a warm camp for children to explore without fear of failure.

4 Encouragement and positive education.

Gu Ailing taught herself calculus, and when she first learned, she solved two simple problems, and she felt that it was not a big deal. At this time, my mother's encouragement immediately followed up, "I just think you have a high level, and you are not high enough to teach yourself calculus." "Mom saw her small progress in her eyes and encouraged her in time.

A friend once asked me, will encouragement make children lose their ability to resist setbacks? I think that Gu Ailing's growth experience may bring him an intuitive and clear understanding.

There is a golden rule in education, "Positive encouragement is better than negative sanctions." Confident children can be brave enough to try, learn things with enthusiasm and efficiency. Even for adults, proper self-encouragement and self-improvement are necessary.

Good encouragement, emphasizing process, effort and progress, is a mental tool for children to know themselves and the environment. Encourage like a searchlight, guide the child's attention, to discover the positive side of a thing, to stimulate the power of positive construction, to help the child get rid of inferiority, to have the strength to resist setbacks.

Bad encouragement (or touting), emphasizing the success or failure of the results, comparison and evaluation, leads the child to the comparison, "Lao Tzu is the first in the world". Such children may perform well in the short term, but gradually lose the motivation to continue to explore, and do not develop the ability qualities accumulated over the long term.

5 People who can learn will also play.

Sleep, exercise and diet are the three pillars of health, and Gu Ailing's mother must have a deep understanding of this. Gu Ailing even listed 10 hours of sleep a day as a secret weapon of success.

The role of sports has also been underestimated for a long time. Aerobic exercise improves academic performance, which is obvious. Problems of stress, poor self-control, and inattention can be effectively improved through exercise. In the treatment of ADHD and depression, exercise can be a partial replacement for medications. Children fall in love with sports, is a lifelong benefit, the efficiency of brushing the problem is actually not high.

The flow state in motion is also an extremely valuable experience for people's growth and happiness.

Adults are always concerned about how children learn, but often ignore an important supporting problem: how children usually relax, exercise and play. Walking, playing ball, swimming, etc., together with schoolwork, are all organic parts of growth. People who can learn are often also very good at playing, which is not surprising, physical and mentally closely linked. One by one, the way of culture and martial arts. Combining work and leisure with a wide range of interests will make you energetic.

Educator Sukhomlinsky has repeatedly stressed that students must have free time to move. "Students can only learn well if they don't spend all their time on their studies and set aside a lot of free time. The question of free time is not only the most important issue in teaching, but also in the cultivation and all-round development of the intellect. Students need free time, just as health needs air. I would like to warn from many years of experience that nothing is allowed in the mental labor system. It is absolutely not permissible for students to read books and do exercises for a few hours immediately after school starts, so that senior students often engage in mental work as intense as class for three or four or even five or six hours in the second half of the day,—— which is absolutely not allowed. ”

Happy people heal their whole lives with childhood, while unfortunate people heal their childhood with a lifetime. Gu Ailing's achievements today are the influence and guidance of her parents and family, and it is also the result of her own hard work, and the family and herself complement each other and complement each other.

Gu Ailing cannot be copied. The reason why it is not replicable is not because of her excellent talent and family, but because the growth of all people cannot be replicated. Growth is complex systems engineering, and no one can control all the variables. There are many children with excellent talent and family background, but Gu Ailing has only one.

Gu Ailing is learnable. We can't replicate feynman-style genius scientists, but we can benefit from Feynman's family education; We can't become celebrities, but we can use celebrity biographies to nourish growth. The Law is on it, and it is in it.