If you are a housewife, a happy marriage, a self-motivated husband, a child is worry-free, and the mother-in-law is reasonable.
Early in the morning, you are busy making breakfast and checking your child's school bag.
You are highly educated and used to have your own dreams, but for the sake of your family, you gave up your dreams.
You are very busy, so busy that you often forget yourself, and the chicken and dog things in the house always make you anxious.
But as long as the child says: "Mom, I love you the most", it makes you feel: it is worth paying all this.
However, when your child sits down to study, you will feel that something is wrong:
You watch the child grope for toys, fiddle with the eraser, the homework progress should be 0%; and think of receiving news from the teacher during the day, the child's test results are not ideal, can't help but yell at him not to play, write seriously;
Wait for the child to "fool" to go to bed after finishing homework, it is already 11 o'clock at night, but when you inquire, the top few children in the class often go to bed after 12 o'clock;
You disregard the child's objections, forcibly take time, sign up for a cram school for the child, and meet the boy of the same age in the neighbor's house in the elevator, only to learn that he has attended 6 or 7 cram classes at the same time;
Whether you're walking into the elevator or taking the subway, all kinds of ads are wrapping you up: peers are abandoning your children, the golden period is just a few years, don't let your children lose at the starting line...
In this vicious comparison of "you do the first year and I do the fifteenth", the child's life is completely KPIized; and you are equally exhausted under the heavy pressure of this "arms race".
In 2022, how to escape the anxiety of parent-child education and return to the common sense and essence of education is a problem that all parents in China need to think more calmly about.
At the beginning of this year, the Family Education Promotion Law came into effect.
The law makes it clear that the parents or other guardians of minors are responsible for carrying out family education, and they must not only fulfill the responsibility of family education, but also correctly fulfill their responsibilities, bring their babies in accordance with the law, and follow the correct laws of education.
Under the dual pressure of this education and anxiety, in the face of the so-called "chicken baby" and "divine beast" in the family, more and more parents and parents are looking headache and tired.
Is there really no way out?
Actually, not really.
There are no disobedient children in the world
Only parents who can't teach
As a parent, of course, I want to make my child better, but it seems that I always use the wrong method.
In fact, where there are children who cannot be taught, there are only parents who cannot teach.
Not being anxious does not mean ignoring the child, and not pursuing grades does not mean that the child does not want to become excellent. Compared with standardized brushing and sending cram schools, it is more necessary to have the right way of education and enough patience than to send cram schools.
In the view of Zhang Hongwu' mentor, the common problem of all "Chinese-style" parents at present -
Either reward or intimidation, causing the child to lose the original "internal drive".
Take, for example, the "homework" that moms have a lot of headaches
Children like to procrastinate: make a "daily routine table" to stimulate the child's inner "self-drive" and let him take the initiative to write homework;
Children like to resist: just use the "behavior purpose table", do not yell or scold, see the child's internal needs, let him learn to be responsible for himself...
As long as the mother spends one point of effort, she can save the child three points of effort!
Really good education is all about fighting parents!
All your anxieties, I know best, and I have more ways
Observe your own words and deeds and whether you have said the following to your child:
You look at the kid next door, you have him half obedient, I can save some snacks.
What time is it, how many times have you been called and not getting up?
Still playing, still playing! Can you hurry up and write me homework?
Adults and children are less concerned!
You resist another try, believe it or not I smoke you?
Am I pulling you up easily? This kid is so disobedient!
If you win more than 1, then you should pay attention to it, so that the child will only become more and more disobedient, and the gain will not be worth the loss.
Teach children in the right way, every child will be "someone else's child", and every mother will become a "goddess mother" who is idle and beautiful.
You will find that raising a good child can really be very easy.